Bullying is a situation that, unfortunately, many boys and girls have experienced – and are living – in schools It consists of harassment and abuse (physical and/or psychological) towards a person, who is considered the victim.
Fortunately, by reporting this situation and with the necessary help, you can get out of it. Once we have left, however, there may be psychological consequences that are very important to treat. In this article we will explain how to overcome the consequences of bullying through 8 ideas that can help us.
Bullying: definition and analysis of the phenomenon
Bullying is an experience that can be very traumatic for children and adolescents. It consists of receiving insults, threats, harassment or mistreatment, whether psychological or physical, by one or more people, who are the aggressors. Bullying is a real situation that increasingly breaks into school classrooms.
This harassment usually lasts over time and occurs frequently and recurrently towards the victim, who suffers during the period in which he is bullied and after it, through a series of psychological consequences that may remain. These consequences can manifest themselves in: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear, nightmares, psychosomatic symptoms…
On the other hand, many times the victim is a psychologically “weaker” person, or with an obvious physical “defect,” which the aggressor uses to ridicule them. However, the key to fighting bullying is not only to care for the victim, but also, and above all, for the aggressor.
Frequently, in addition, it is the aggressor who feels most insecure, and that is why he needs to hurt someone he considers “inferior.” Through this he becomes “empowered” and if he also has people who support him (or who allow the situation to perpetuate), who are usually classmates, that makes him feel superior, more powerful.
How to overcome the consequences of bullying
It is for everything mentioned that the work should always be carried out with both parties (victim and aggressor). In this article, however, we will focus on the victim, and that is why we will propose some keys on how to overcome the consequences of bullying.
1. Ask for psychological help
An essential step on how to overcome the consequences of bullying is ask for professional help if you need it After an experience like this, which may have been very traumatic, it is likely that there will be after-effects to deal with, insecurities, fears, etc.
Sometimes it is difficult to manage or solve it yourself without help, because we do not always have the necessary tools to do so. The help we request must be adapted to our particular case, and may be psychological, psychiatric, medical help…
2. Accept the experience
Another step on how to overcome the consequences of bullying involves accepting the situation experienced. That does not mean resigning or forgetting as if it had not been something important, on the contrary; It implies accepting what has happened to us, how it has made us feel and that, fortunately, the situation is now over and does not have to be repeated.
This is not an easy or short process, but rather a path that may require a long period of time Many times it will be essential to go to a psychologist to accompany us during the process. Accepting the experience will allow us to manage and face the emotions and consequences caused, evolve, continue moving forward and acquire important life learning.
3. Be clear that it is not your fault
It is common to feel guilty after experiencing bullying; But just because it is habitual does not mean that it is healthy, realistic or “logical.” That is to say, The fault of having been victims of bullying is never ours although our heads want us to believe otherwise.
That is why we must be aware that it is always the aggressor’s fault, and that having these negative thoughts can cause us a lot of harm. So we must take this aspect into account, and not feel guilty for thinking this way.
4. Stay away from negative thoughts
Another tool on how to overcome the consequences of bullying has to do with the negative thoughts that we may have after said experience. Related to the previous point, we find Frequently, victims of bullying have negative thoughts insecurity, self-destructive, etc., after such an experience.
As in the previous case, we must get away from these thoughts, either alone or with psychological help.
These negative thoughts can be translated into “you deserved it”, “you are worthless”, “no one will love you”… When they appear in our mind, we can apply techniques such as stopping thoughts; that is, saying “STOP!” out loud, or “ENOUGH!”, when said thought occurs, breathe deeply and do some pleasant or pleasurable activity (or imagine a pleasant scene).
5. Get away from resentment
Resentment is that feeling or emotion that we experience towards someone when they have caused us harm; It is a feeling of “revenge”, of anger, negative, that in a certain way ties us to that person and perpetuates our suffering, because it does not allow us to move forward and accept the situation.
Reducing this resentment until it disappears will free us and allow us to continue moving forward, accepting what happened to us but looking towards the future again. Many times it will be necessary to go to a professional to help us manage this anger.
Thus, it is not so much about “forgiving” the aggressor, but rather about accepting what happened to us and continuing to move forward.
6. Express what you feel
How to overcome the consequences of bullying without expressing how you have felt all this time? It is impossible. Therefore, it is essential to do so, since expressing our emotions, whether positive or negative, will help us understand what we have experienced and how it has affected us. At the same time, We will be able to analyze our feelings and emotions, and move forward, in order to feel a little better each time
7. Empower yourself
It is important to be clear that we continue to be valid, true people and deserving of everything positive that life offers us, although – and despite – having lived through such an experience. We must trust in our worth and our power to transform our reality as well as to achieve everything we propose through effort and self-confidence.
8. Transform pain
Pain is an emotional experience and an emotion that causes us a lot of suffering; However, it has its “positive” part, and that is that, in addition to being an adaptive emotion (necessary to evolve), it is an emotion with the power to make us change things and make us fight In reality, it is a natural emotion.
That is why we can transform this pain into other “formats”, such as art and creativity (drawings, poems, stories…). It’s about projecting it into other things that do make us feel good and that allow us to bring out our full potential.
