How To Prevent Conflicts During The Christmas Holidays
Every year millions of families gather throughout the country to celebrate the Christmas holidays, a period that, due to its importance in many cultures, is experienced as something special even among people who are not even Christians or believers. There is no doubt that Christmas has transcended beyond the religious sphere, and this is due to a series of social inertias that generate expectations, customs, and even iconography linked to these dates. In short, certain psychosocial mechanisms appear that They take us to experience Christmas whether we want it or not ; Even those who say they do not give it importance are forced to “position themselves” before it.
This set of forms of social pressure and expectations means that a context can emerge in which people especially given to having conflicts among themselves meet and participate in special events, especially in the context of the extended family. In the same way, the fact that situations such as Christmas dinners involve a certain organization and effort to get involved and cooperate can add to the stress the frustration of seeing that others do not collaborate as they should.
In short, it is relatively common for a paradox to occur during the Christmas holidays: on the one hand, a climate of mutual understanding and support between loved ones is expected during these days, and on the other hand, there are reasons to worry about whether arguments and conflicts will arise that break the holiday. totally that attempt to connect emotionally with others. Fortunately, there are some strategies that we can apply to avoid these problems; In this article we will talk about How to prevent conflicts during the Christmas holidays
The keys to avoiding conflicts at Christmas parties
If you live with a family that usually has these types of problems, keep reading; Below you will find practical tips and tricks that we can use during the Christmas holidays to prevent the appearance of those frictions that can arise, especially at gatherings with extended family.
Ensure that there is real consensus on where and how to meet all family members It is the first step to organizing a Christmas gathering in which all participants are comfortable and satisfied with the plans.
Asking the opinion of the entire family to establish important issues such as where the Christmas lunch or dinner will be held is the best way for each family member to feel integrated into the group and see that their opinion is important. Furthermore, it generates commitment, and is a first step for everyone to get involved and have the desire that everything goes well, by being part of it.
To achieve this objective we must take into account the possibilities that each family member has to travel or which ones live further from the city and have more difficulties adapting to the agreed plan.
When deciding where the event is held (whether it is held in a house or, on the contrary, in a restaurant) we must take into account whether someone volunteers to lend their house, otherwise You should never pressure anyone to do it or assume that this will be the case
2. Distribute expenses fairly
Organizing an equitable distribution of all the expenses derived from each celebration will ensure that no family member has to spend significantly more money than the rest and that no conflicts of any kind arise due to real or imagined comparative grievances.
To ensure this objective, it is advisable to previously establish a budget for all the expenses derived from each of the Christmas dinners, meals and celebrations of all types and divide the expenses by the total number of participants
There are cases in which a family member may offer to pay more for whatever reason, the important thing is to ensure that it is a voluntary offer, that it is not a sum much higher than that offered by others (so as not to alienate the rest of participants) and that everyone agrees to meet the agreed budget.
3. Know the controversial topics in advance
Some of the topics discussed at family gatherings can end up giving rise to heated discussions, which is why we must take into account what they are to divert the conversations to other topics if at a given moment they are reached almost without intending to or due to to misunderstandings.
By having a short mental list in advance of the topics that may cause the most conflict, we can more easily prevent all types of unnecessary arguments during family celebrations. And by the way, if any member of the family does not feel comfortable sharing certain information with the rest there is no need to pressure him to make it known in these types of meetings, no matter how much it may seem “practical” to take advantage of them for this.
4. Help parents
Fathers and mothers with small children usually have a big job when it comes to taking care of their children in the middle of family gatherings, that is why we must offer our help in everything they may need so that everyone has a pleasant and enjoyable day. relaxed.
Most parents know that combining these family gatherings with caring for their little ones can be complicated and cause stress, so it is important that they feel supported. And of course, you have to avoid plans that make them feel excluded or apart (for example, a dinner at a restaurant or event where small children are not allowed).
To ensure that the work is shared between everyone, we can organize support for parents in shifts, having each family member take care of the children for a while so that the parents can rest or hire someone to take care of the children. the children during the day.
In some families there are confrontations or arguments that last for years, among other things because these people rarely see each other. In the event that two or more people do not get along for whatever reason, it is important that they are the ones who control the timing of reconciliation if it occurs, and that they are willing to do so. One more time, It’s about not assuming things just because it’s Christmas and you’re all together
Furthermore, we must avoid forcing them to talk to each other or do activities in which only those people specifically have to cooperate, since true reconciliation will only be possible in a natural and unforced way.
6. Assign seating strategically
To prevent any type of conflict during dinners, meals and evenings of all kinds, it is also advisable to assign the seats where each diner will sit carefully, trying not to seat close to those family members who get along worse or who have practically nothing. in common and may be displaced if they are far from those people with whom they have the most affinity
7. Distribute the work
Equally distributing work is one of the most important measures to prevent one person or group of people from having to do all the tasks during family meals or dinners.
This distribution must be done so that everyone collaborates and participates in all the tasks and responsibilities that must be faced: from cooking and preparing food, to serving the dishes, removing them and washing them.
This aspect should become a habit integrated into all family celebrations and can be achieved by establishing handwritten or computerized shifts reflecting the work of each participant.
