Resorting to emotional blackmail to achieve some purpose is a phenomenon that occurs relatively frequently in life.
Obviously, not all people use this technique with the same frequency or with the same expertise. In this article we will talk about the implications of this mechanism but above all, How can we protect ourselves to try not to fall victim to emotional blackmail? or do it as little as possible.
If someone wants to know how to protect themselves from emotional blackmail, it is essential that they first know exactly what this expression refers to, since sometimes it can lead to confusion or not be treated with the exactness with which it should be in order to identify it without room for doubt. doubts.
Emotional blackmail is a behavior by which, The blackmailer tries to get the blackmailed person to give in to his pressures to perform a certain action due to a feeling of guilt, fear or obligation that has generated him. In this way, the subject who ends up giving in to blackmail is carrying out a behavior that he did not really want to do and that only satisfies the interests of the blackmailer.
This It is considered a form of control and in some cases even abuse, depending on the type of actions that are forced to be carried out and the context and relationship between both people. That is why it is essential to know how to protect yourself from emotional blackmail, an issue that we will analyze later.
Fear, obligation and guilt are the psychological tools used by those who use emotional blackmail. For its acronym in English, FOG (fear, obligation, guilt), which means fog, which serves to illustrate the way in which these individuals manage to cloud the judgment of their victims to get them to do what they want, even when they know. that they shouldn’t do it, that they don’t have to do it or that they don’t want to do it.
None of that matters when a blackmailer manages to coerce an individual and convince him of what he should do. Some people have a special facility for using this technique, and no qualms about doing so. On the other hand, some subjects will be more vulnerable to being victims of this fact, so they are the ones who must pay special attention to how to protect themselves from emotional blackmail.
6 tips to protect yourself from emotional blackmail
You are not always safe from emotional blackmail, but there are certain methods that, to a certain extent, reduce the chances of falling into it Below we will explore different techniques and resources to learn how to protect yourself from emotional blackmail.
1. Set limits
It is clear that The first containment dam against blackmail is none other than the establishment of clear and firm limits Not all people will have the same ability, obviously, to carry out this task and be blunt when it comes to marking red lines that the blackmailer will not be able to cross, no matter how much he uses fear, guilt and obligation.
Knowing how to protect yourself from emotional blackmail involves realizing the importance of these boundaries. Furthermore, they must be consistent, because if weakness is shown at a given moment or an exception is made, a precedent will have been set that will be the perfect excuse for the blackmailer to continue perpetrating his works repeatedly.
That is why, once we have decided on the limit that we do not want to cross in any way regarding the action that we are trying to be forced to carry out, can be made explicit and communicate that in no way is the position going to be given up so the person who intends to blackmail us can stop wasting time on something that is not going to bear any fruit.
2. Power of Attorney Statement
Another key to how to protect yourself from emotional blackmail is precisely to make a power statement. This issue is closely linked to establishing limits, but it is not exactly the same. What the proxy statement refers to is the demonstration that the individual will be firm in the limits he has decided to set and therefore will not give in to blackmail.
It is a way of making the blackmailer see that, no matter how much pressure he decides to exert, alluding to arguments of fear, obligation and guilt, one will remain strong and therefore all the effort will be in vain, because no He is going to achieve the intentions he had by trying to make him fall into emotional blackmail.
The ability to make that statement of firmness is not the same in all people, so some will have an easier time than others. As with limits, If we want the technique to be effective, we must have consistency and accompany the power statement with the appropriate attitude effectively remaining as firm as we have declared that we were going to do.
3. Train assertiveness
As we said, not all individuals have the same facility to use these strategies, along the lines of how to protect themselves from emotional blackmail. But one way to facilitate its use is precisely the work of assertiveness. If we learn to communicate a message, no matter how firm, in a respectful and natural way, we will have gained a lot of ground in this regard.
Through assertiveness, We will be able to validate the blackmailer’s own feelings but also our own, and let him know that it is not possible to accede to his requests no matter how insistent it may be, responding calmly and with a respectful, but absolutely firm attitude.
Assertiveness is valid for many other situations, making it an especially valuable skill, which is therefore worth training.
4. Self-esteem work
Like assertiveness, working on self-esteem is also a great idea. Many blackmailers know their victims’ vulnerabilities and take advantage of them to achieve their goals. One of the most obvious is precisely low self-esteem. Therefore, adequate training can help, among many other things, to know how to protect yourself from emotional blackmail.
Logically, training self-esteem is not a simple task. If you do not have the appropriate tools for this, the best option is to go to a psychologist who will be your companion in this process and will teach you the ways in which you can achieve your goal.
As was the case with assertiveness, self-esteem is enormously valuable for countless situations, not only for gaining strength to avoid emotional blackmail. Therefore, all the work done with the intention of strengthening it will always be a success and will be worth it.
Continuing with the techniques that help us know how to protect ourselves from emotional blackmail, we come to the mirror. This is a relatively simple, but powerful strategy. The idea is to return to the blackmailer the argument of guilt, obligation or fear that he is throwing at us
In that sense, if he asks us to perform a certain behavior, which we do not want to do, since otherwise certain things will happen, we can make him see that those unpleasant things could actually happen if we decide to do the task he asks of us. Using the mirror tactic, we can return the blackmail attempt again and again, until we get him to give up.
6. Negotiation
Although until now, the techniques on how to protect yourself from emotional blackmail that we have seen have been along the lines of being categorical in the task of not giving in and not carrying out in any case the task that has been demanded of us, the reality is that there are other paths that respond to intermediate points.
If we do not want to do that specific task, but do want to do a similar one, or partially instead of completely, we can try to negotiate with the supposed blackmailer. Evidently, This type of tactic should only be carried out if we really have an interest in the behavior that has been requested of us, since if not, the best option would be to set the limits and not give in
If the specific situation makes both people extract a benefit, even to a certain extent, it may be interesting to negotiate, and not accept from emotional blackmail but from the desire to participate in the requested activity, in search of that reward that will be obtained. .
This list does not include all of them, but it does include some of the most important tactics so that, from now on, people who need it know how to protect themselves from emotional blackmail.
