Aspects in life such as Insecurity, Need for Approval, Chronic Personal Dissatisfaction and Difficulty saying No or Imposing Limits are some clear signs that indicate that we need to improve Self-Esteem. In this PsicologíaOnline article, we are going to give you a series of guidelines to know how to raise one’s self-esteem.
Self-esteem is a term that could be simply summarized as: how we see ourselves It expresses how much we respect and love each other, and this is clearly reflected in the situations and decisions that affect ourselves.
elf-help and the development of self-esteem
The first thing we should do is self-analyze to see how our self-esteem is. Ask yourself the following: How do you feel about life? Do you think what you do makes you feel good? Is your position on situations in general positive? Are you happy with yourself?
If the majority of answers are negative, we have a clear indication that your self-esteem is damaged and needs to be worked on through self-help that is, a treatment that will fundamentally depend on you for its success or failure.
Low self-esteem affects us in all areas of life. A person who has low self-esteem often makes bad decisions for themselves; In romantic relationships, they tend to be with partners who treat them badly; In personal relationships, they surround themselves with “friends” who contribute nothing and who take advantage of them; In the professional field, they do not evolve and they do not have confidence in their potential, nor are they brave enough to try something new and better… In short, at the first obstacle, they give up.
Generally, psychotherapists come to the conclusion that the origin of self-esteem problems lies primarily in lack of awareness and distorted self-image.
Secondly, these problems usually originate from a lack of attention or recognition from parents during childhood.
ymptoms of lack of self-esteem
A very clear example of this problem is when we compare ourselves and ask for references from a third person. For example, a woman who asks her friend: “Am I as fat as that girl?” If you do not have a clear image of yourself, this is an indication of a lack of self-esteem.
That said, the main Symptoms and consequences of lack of self-esteem are:
Feeling of insecurity. Generally, the person has many uncertainties and finds it difficult to make decisions.
Little or no self-confidence. Very little or no conviction that one has the ability to do things well.
Excessive self-criticism. Generally you only see your own defects and ignore your qualities.
Frustration intolerance. When you are fragile, whoever criticizes you kills you. You value someone else’s opinion much more than your own.
Tendency toward destructive relationships.
Permissiveness and difficulty in setting limits. You are afraid of displeasing others, therefore, you allow yourself to do whatever you want.
Difficulty accepting praise. Since it is difficult for the person to value the good things he does, it is difficult for him to accept praise.
Very great emotional vulnerability which leads to emotional dependence.
Chronic feeling of dissatisfaction. Nothing is good and you feel constant anxiety and anguish with pessimistic thoughts.
Although the lack of self-esteem is built during childhood and adolescence, you can go to self-help at any stage of life. There are many exercises that change the way you think and help you improve and prevent self-esteem problems. In addition to psychological treatments, the effectiveness of the best self help books at the time of prevent self-esteem problems (one of the best is “The Power of Now” by Tolle). When we try to change our way of thinking, our mind will be like a cycle: positive thoughts will make us change our mood for the better, and that new state will help us improve self-esteem.
Some of the fundamental aspects that will help you increase self-esteem are the following:
Analyze your life
Are you okay at work? Are you happy in your relationship? How are you with your friends? Are you satisfied with yourself? If the answer is no to the majority, you have to start moving NOW to change that situation.
The change is not immediate
You can’t expect to change your life overnight. In the same way that you have not arrived at that bad situation suddenly, its solution requires some time. You must make little by little and gradually small movements to promote change.
When we realize that we are dissatisfied with ourselves, we tend to be radical and try to make a drastic change, setting ourselves up for failure.
Avoid persistent self-criticism
Allow yourself to make mistakes and work on accepting failure. You must also accept that it is impossible to please everyone, that it is inevitable and that it is part of life.
You must learn to look at the qualities of others and not just their flaws. When we notice the qualities of others, we in a way absorb part of that quality.
listen to yourself
You have to discover what you really want. Always try to treat yourself with the same care and affection with which you treat others.
Learn to set limits
Do not allow others to invade your rights and your space under the pretext of pleasing others. This is not about selfishness, but about self-protection.
Do exercises to know yourself better
Recognizing both your defects and your qualities and analyzing them as a whole will help you know yourself better and know how to react to setbacks and better weigh your possibilities.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to raise one’s self-esteem we recommend that you enter our Personal Growth and Self-Help category.
I’m Emily Williams Jones, a psychologist specializing in mental health with a focus on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. With a Ph.D. in psychology, my career has spanned research, clinical practice and private counseling. I’m dedicated to helping individuals overcome anxiety, depression and trauma by offering a personalized, evidence-based approach that combines the latest research with compassionate care.
