Jealousy is one of the most harmful phenomena that can be experienced in a loving relationship. And although to a greater or lesser extent many people can feel jealous, there is a difference between what is considered normal and what is considered pathological. Relationships can be complicated, but jealousy undoubtedly contributes to their deterioration and degradation.
Jealous behavior comes to light due to unrealistic beliefs and insecurity that the person has , and usually causes obsessive thoughts that are not healthy at all. It is a relationship problem that is often not overcome and, in extreme cases, it must be treated by a professional, since marked jealousy is usually the cause of low self-esteem, a paranoid personality or a possessive nature, among other reasons.
How to stop being a jealous person
Jealousy causes great pain and suffering for both members of the couple. If you think you are acting jealous and you think this is affecting your relationship, you better put a stop to your behavior before the situation enters a vicious circle.
Below you can find a series of tips that will make you reflect on how you are behaving.
1. Recognize that you behave jealously
¿How to stop being jealous or jealous? The advice below will be of no use if you do not recognize that your behavior is being exaggerated and unhealthy for your relationship.
It is clear that it is not always easy to be self-critical but surely you are able to recognize that your way of acting is harming your partner and is making you a tremendously unhappy person.
2. Have the will to change
If you have already recognized that you are being jealous, the next step is to do something to transform the way you behave. Change is not easy, especially when you feel insecure. If you are aware that you are jealous, you are going to have to transform your way of thinking so as not to lose that person you love so much. You can only achieve this with will and if you do your part.
3. Detect jealousy
If you have already recognized that you have a problem and are willing to change, you need to detect when you are behaving jealously. And jealousy can manifest itself at many times. For example, c hen the fear of being unfaithful invades you knowing that your partner is going to a company dinner.
You need to recognize when you lose your nerve and whether these thoughts you have are real or the fruit of your imagination (that is, you have no proof that your partner is having an affair with another person).
4. Think realistically
Once you have detected that you are behaving too exaggeratedly, it is time to make an effort to change, otherwise, jealousy will invade you. If the thought that “your partner is with someone” appears in your mind, think about the times he has shown you his love and in the null evidence you have to accuse him.
5. Work on yourself
Jealousy is often a consequence of low self-esteem and insecurity. Jealous people, furthermore, suffer from great emotional dependence , because they feel great concern about being abandoned. That is why the first step to overcoming jealousy is to work on yourself.
6. Trust your partner
Trust in your partner and jealousy are incompatible, so you need to learn to trust your partner. The good health of the relationship is based on mutual respect and trust , that’s why you should let him enjoy his own life. Relationships work when both partners have their own space, so don’t ruin what has brought you together and what has made you so happy together.
7. Find out what makes you jealous or jealous
It is possible that jealousy may have arisen because of your low self-esteem or because you have had a traumatic experience in a former relationship. Therefore, it is necessary that you find out what makes you behave like this, because this way you may better understand what is happening to you. Look for clues in your behavior
8. Forget the past
Once you have detected what the problem is, if what is making you react this way is the fault of a past relationship, You better turn the page and enjoy the present moment Bad experiences have something good, and that is that they make us grow and become a better person if we learn from them.
9. Focus on the good in your relationship
Surely your relationship has very good things, and that is why you are with the person you love so much. If you want it to not end, you better focus on positive things instead of letting your irrational thoughts interfere with your love.
10. Improve communication with your partner
The communication can avoid conflicts in the relationship , so it is good that you spend more time with your partner, communicate with him, know his needs, and show him your trust and respect. And if something worries you, you better tell them. Of course, you must be careful when talking about this sensitive topic.
11. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a very powerful tool to improve interpersonal relationships and also jealousy. It can help you interpret situations more realistically, improve your emotional self-awareness and to treat your partner and yourself with compassion. All these elements are positive for your well-being and will allow you to see life from another perspective.
To delve deeper into this practice, you can read our article: “Mindfulness: 8 benefits of full attention”
12. Go to psychological therapy
It is important to understand that the previous points, sometimes, may not have an effect, because if jealousy is pathological it is necessary go to psychological therapy to treat the root problem Whether due to low self-esteem, lack of social skills or a traumatic experience from the past, psychological therapy provides tools to overcome this problematic situation.