How To Stop Being A Jealous Person? 14 Tips To Learn To Control Them
What can we do to stop being jealous people? How can we control our jealousy and/or learn to manage it? Discover some tips to manage these feelings.
No one likes to feel jealous However, jealousy is an inevitable emotion that almost all of us experience at some point or another. The problem with jealousy is that instead of arising from time to time, these feelings end up controlling both our attitudes towards others and our thoughts.
In some cases, people may experience that jealousy takes over and even shapes the way they feel about themselves as well as how they interpret the world around them. Therefore learn to know how to stop being a jealous person especially in these cases, is vital for our relationships to be healthy.
When we talk about someone being a jealous or has a jealous partner, we usually do it by highlighting the negative aspect that this implies. This is because when someone is very jealous they usually experience problems with anger, resentment or sadness. Thus, if you feel that you have this type of behavior, we recommend that you take into account the following tips:
Analyze where these feelings come from: The first step to stop being a jealous person It is precisely knowing where these emotions arise from. For example, you may have a jealous attitude because your partner starts spending more time with his or her new friend and this was the first sign you noticed when your ex-partner cheated on you. By analyzing the source of these feelings, you can know if they come from your own insecurities, fear, or patterns in past relationships. By being clear about its origin, this can help you figure out how to deal with it.
Express your concerns: If there is a type of behavior or attitude from your partner that triggers feelings of jealousy, it is important that you learn to communicate it. That is, to know how to control jealousy, it is crucial that you keep in mind that no one is on your mind or knows what is harming you. Sometimes we tend to think that when we are with someone, this person knows perfectly how we feel because he knows us, and in the vast majority of cases this is not the case. So if you observe behavior that hurts you from your partner, you should let them know.
Talk about it with someone you trust: On many occasions, jealousy can distort your reality. In fact, you may even perceive or notice attitudes that are not really like that. In this way, if you want to learn to know how to manage jealousy, one way to do it will be to discuss it with someone you trust. Sometimes expressing these concerns to someone else, such as a friend or family member, can make the situation less scary and help you gain another perspective.
Face your jealousy: One of the ways of know how to work on jealousy, is trying to see these feelings as a useful source of information. Instead of seeing it as an attack on you or something that blames you, perhaps these negative emotions are telling you that you feel something is missing in your relationship. Therefore, perhaps it is time to solve these problems in your link.
Avoid comparisons: Jealousy sometimes arises in response to an idealization of other people. That is to say, on many occasions to avoid jealousy we must stop comparing ourselves with an idealized vision of others. Especially if you do it by looking at social networks.
Practice gratitude: Nobody has everything they really want. In fact, sometimes we tend to focus on everything negative instead of seeing the positive part of what surrounds us. If you like stop being a jealous person Right now, perhaps practicing gratitude for what you have can help you deal with the negative feelings you are experiencing.
Explore the problems that make you feel jealous: Instead of focusing on what makes you feel jealous, try to manage this energy towards what really causes these emotions in you. For example, in many cases what makes you not trust your partner may be because you are suffering from anxiety or self-esteem problems. Therefore, perhaps you should confront these problems instead of focusing on jealousy. To do this, we recommend that you try to accept these feelings, but at the same time, recognize negative thought patterns in order to challenge or even replace them.
Recognize your value: When jealousy leads us to compare ourselves with others, our self-esteem can be affected. The best way to know how to stop being jealous or jealous In these cases it is precisely valuing yourself more. In fact, research suggests that there is a link between feelings of jealousy and self-esteem, so in many cases when we feel it it is because we believe that we are suffering a threat to our personal value. When this happens, it is important to combat low self-esteem. For example, you can remember and even make a list of the things you do well; try to practice self-compassion, that is, treat yourself as you would a close friend; ask yourself self-worth affirmations daily; Remember the things you value in your partner or relationship and take time to do those things you enjoy.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness or full attention techniques allow people to focus on their thoughts and feelings without judging and/or criticizing them. Additionally, increasing awareness and being more in the present is a method that can help you know how to control jealousy
Be patient: You can’t help but be jealous. But, if you’ve experienced these feelings before, you probably already know that jealousy fades over time. In this way, as time goes by, if you try to learn to know how to manage jealousy it is very likely that you will end up having less need to compare yourself with others.
Don’t act while feeling jealous: Our critical inner voice tends to advise us to start taking actions that may end up harming us in the long term. If you feel like you are experiencing jealousy, it is important that you do not act on these feelings. In fact, if we start letting them control us, we end up encouraging this type of behavior.
Deal with your negative thoughts: The best we can do to know how to manage jealousy It is precisely trying to deal with the thoughts that fill us with this negativity. Therefore, we must ‘conquer’ our inner critic, facing the ideas that are not real and that come from our insecurities. To do this, we recommend that you reason with these thoughts as if you were a close friend giving advice.
Make them your source for improvement: If you experience jealousy, instead of focusing on the negative aspect, make it your source for improving yourself as a person. For example, if you feel that you are jealous Before your partner talks to a person, examine what this person has that may be different from you. Instead of taking it as something that can cause you to lose your partner, try to see if it can really help you improve some aspect of your character or personality.
Go to therapy: If you feel like you’ve tried everything and you don’t know how to stop being a jealous person Maybe you should go to therapy with a professional psychologist.
It is not always easy to know when we should go to therapy because we have behaviors typical of a compulsive jealous Some of the signs that indicate that you have a problem that requires the help of a mental health professional are the following:
Jealousy leads you to obsessive or fixed thoughts.
You notice compulsive behaviors due to jealousy.
Thoughts about jealousy become uncontrollable or intrusive.
You have violent thoughts or impulses.
Feelings of jealousy trigger problematic behaviors or attitudes, such as constantly following your partner or checking on them.
Jealousy affects your daily life, as it prevents you from doing the things you want or causes other types of anguish that limits you.
Actually, jealousy They are information that can help you know who you really care about. But, these feelings shouldn’t cause problems for you or your relationships.
