If there is something that the human mind specializes in, it is making everything that happens to us have meaning for us. Therefore, sometimes curious experiences occur. There are many situations that, if we analyzed them coldly, we would see that they are neutral and have no significance, and yet they make us focus our attention on them and associate an emotional charge with them. On many occasions, we react disproportionately to them, believing that practically everything that happens to us is important and happens because we are there.
Of course, this phenomenon also occurs in our personal relationships. Doubting the intentions or emotions behind other people’s actions or what they say can cause some people to see an attack in the most ambiguous cues: a gesture, a change in tone. of the voice, constructive criticism… For them, this article will be of special interest: How to stop taking things personally? Let’s look at it through a series of basic guidelines.
Every psychological change involves a transformation of our beliefs and our daily habits. Taking this into account, and that in order to improve certain aspects of your personality you have to make efforts and work constantly, follow the following recommendations to stop taking things personally at the slightest hint of possible attack or conflict
Not a legally valid contract, of course, but a verbal one. It’s very simple: you should tell the people you trust most that you are trying to stop taking things personally so as not to get unnecessarily angry or offended. Just doing this, you are already modifying your social environment to make it less tempting to throw in the towel and let yourself go by your old habits.
By following this advice you will be able to create expectations both in yourself and in others, so that you will be indirectly enhancing your motivation to move forward and try to take personal relationships with you. a more constructive attitude
2. Analyze your type of hostility
When we say that someone takes things personally, we are simply referring to the fact that they adopt a hostile or defensive attitude in situations of ambiguity in which their self-image or public image could be compromised by a comment or action from others. This encompasses a certain variety of behaviors that do not have to resemble each other.
So, it is good that you stop to think about how that hostility appears in you when you take something very personally. In this sense, you must distinguish between at least three trends: aggressive attitude, passive-aggressive attitude and resentful attitude In the first case we are talking about people who get clearly angry and express that feeling of anger, in the second the hostility is manifested in a more subtle way, without directly confronting the other but treating them with contempt, and in the third case hostility is not expressed, but that hides the fact that our feelings have been hurt.
Depending on which of these categories you fall into, you can decide whether your work should focus more or less on preventing hostile escalation against others, or on strengthening your self-esteem so that you are not hurt by a wide variety of social experiences.
3. Detect what situations trigger that emotion
Are there specific situations in which you consider that you take what happens personally? Name them. For example, for some this happens in relation to their professional career, For others, these experiences appear only in the family context, or even just with some people. Knowing these things will help you decide if you should manage just certain personal relationships differently, or if the problem lies in a facet of your personality.
4. Work on your self-esteem
Yes, this task alone already entails a whole series of exercises to perform, but it is an essential step. The reason for this is that there is always some insecurity when someone takes things too personally. Ultimately, this is a tendency toward catastrophic and somewhat paranoid thoughts feeding the beliefs that around us there are hostile forces that can hurt us through the most insignificant details.
For example, something relatively simple you can do in this regard is lead a healthier life and take better care of yourself in general. This will positively affect how you feel, and will allow you to break old vices that made you feel bad and adopt a more pessimistic perspective about what is happening around you.
5. Start from scratch in your relationships with others
Sometimes hostilities remain there out of sheer inertia. For example, because in the past someone misinterpreted the other’s intentions, a misunderstanding was created that was perceived as a lack of respect, and reconciliation does not come because both parties refuse to admit their mistakes. Creating a symbolic ending for this stage makes it much easier rehabilitate those bridges of empathy that will make it easier to break down that tendency towards paranoia.
