Sexuality is a very important part of a person’s growth; and adolescence, a key stage for its development. It is important to talk about the topic without fear and naturally.
On the other hand, the family is the most basic nuclear group in our society, it is the social group in which the majority of people develop and establishes an intermediation between the individual and society. Based on this, the attitudes and behaviors of adolescents will be largely mediated and determined by the relationships and communication established with their family nucleus.
During adolescence the risks increase, any problem can be of significant significance or impact and at the same time weakens the family’s ability to control and influence the adolescent. It is also in this vital stage when, as a result of physical and mental development, sexual contact begins to be sought and the first sexual relations may occur.
Sexuality is key to the development of identity and it is very important to receive sexual education to establish healthy sexual behaviors that are maintained over time. Sexual education is a right according to the World Association for Mental Health, and although academic institutions are trusted to provide it to children, it is important to maintain communication with them to be able to deal with these issues normally.
In this article we are going to discuss the importance of talking about sexuality with teenage children and give some advice to establish better and simpler communication so that it is not embarrassing for anyone to discuss these issues.
However, sex education should not be something exclusive to school. Parents must be appropriate attachment figures, who foster in their children the ability to establish healthy bonds with the people with whom they interact. To do this, they must show their children trust, esteem and affection, being acceptable models and giving value to emotional ties and intimacy and to egalitarian relationships in both the sexual and social spheres.
It is also important to consider parents as protectors of real and imaginary risks, giving their children the information and ability to, for example, detect abuse or, on the contrary, not carry it out. Therefore, in a conversation about sex with a child, Parents must answer their questions, but also anticipate the most important evolutionary events approaching their children’s lives Healthy childhood sexuality should not be pursued, but rather talk openly about it and also deal with the risks it may entail, leaving the door open to ask for help and communicate in case they need it in the future.
How to start talking about sex with your teenager
It may be normal for it to be difficult to start a conversation about sex between family members, but what should be more difficult is to avoid doing it. It is easy for sex to appear in many places: news, social networks, advertisements, television series… It can be a good way to use this to start talking about the topic. Some tips to keep in mind:
1. Be careful not to be intrusive
Although you can find connection points to talk about this with your child in television series or movies, for example, Make sure it’s a good time to bring up the topic or if it could make them feel out of place or uncomfortable
2. Be sincere
It is normal that you may feel uncomfortable and it is also a good idea to communicate this to your child, it is normal that it is something new for both of you and you can make him feel understood and identified more easily.
Let him talk too and don’t focus the conversation solely on what you have to say.
4. Don’t stay in one conversation
Don’t think that talking about sexuality once is enough It is important to leave the door open to your children in case they have more doubts or questions in the future.
Complicated topics about sexuality
You should know that these conversations may lead to doubts or questions that may be difficult to answer. Therefore, it is important that you inform yourself about sexuality and its forms of expression and, if you do not know how to answer something, do not avoid it or make it up. It is positive to communicate that you do not know about something to learn together Some topics to address may be:
1. When is the appropriate time to have sex?
Many teenagers may feel confused about when it is “normal” to start having sex. There are many factors such as social pressure or loneliness that influence the decision to start having sex. It is important that you reinforce the idea that the appropriate time to have sex is when you feel comfortable and safe, and that it is okay to wait if you prefer.
2. Consent
You must convey to your child the idea that only yes means yes You should know that you cannot force anyone to have sex and also identify when someone is pressuring them to do so.
3. Sexual diversity
It is normal that sexual exploration leads to considering sexual orientations that are different from the norms. It is very positive that you reinforce diversity in your children and that you seek information about it if you do not have all the knowledge. Reacting negatively to these topics can result in your child’s fear or rejection of himself/herself and also of you. Family acceptance is a very important protective factor in these cases.
Even if it is not talked about, sexuality still exists
To finish and as a conclusion, Even if you avoid talking about sexuality with your son or daughter, sex will still be there Receiving deficient sexual education can result in a major problem in the comprehensive development of your children.
If you don’t help them resolve doubts or feel understood, they will look for information elsewhere, and this can be worse than not talking to them directly.
