How To Talk To A Friend With Suicidal Thoughts: Tips For Support
Talking about suicide is a taboo topic in our society, but talking about it is not at all something to be ashamed of or feel guilty about.
We may think that it is something that is unlikely to happen to us, that suicide only happens to very depressed people, something that is “easy” to see. However, many people have suicidal thoughts.
Know how to talk to a friend who has suicidal thoughts, or who we think might have them, it is not simple (nor comfortable to apply in practice), but it is better to be safe than to face the loss of a loved one. Next we will see how to do it.
We may not realize it, but the truth is that depression and its associated problems are a very common illness. Every day, walking down the street, we come across hundreds of people who may feel despair, deep sadness, helplessness and, more frequently than we would like to believe, suicidal thoughts. Whether it is a friend, a family member or our neighbor, there are many who fantasize about the idea of ending their life and, unfortunately, there are also many who carry it out.
There are several reasons that may be behind a person’s desire to commit suicide, but that does not make the problem more obvious or easier to see. People who have these kinds of thoughts do not share them just like that and are even afraid that someone will notice. The society in which we live means that, if it is already difficult to talk about completely healthy and normal feelings, it is even more so to express something that is generally seen as something to be ashamed of.
You don’t need to be a psychologist to help save a life at the risk of someone committing suicide. Despite feeling embarrassed about sharing their thoughts, what many of these patients want is for their fears and feelings to be heard without being judged. Many fear that they will be seen as weak people, who choose the “easy” route, but, in reality, the fact of expressing their fears, their fears, their dissatisfaction with their life makes them truly brave, and we, like good friends, We must listen to them and support them. We must do everything possible to overcome your problem and change your outlook on life.
What we are going to see throughout this article are a series of aspects to take into account when talking to someone who we think could have suicidal thoughts. It may not be like that, we may have thought what it is not, but the simple act of asking someone if they want to end their life can help us avoid it.
Far from what you think, talking openly about this issue can prevent you from ending your life.. If this is not the case, although you may even get angry for having asked, we will rest easy knowing that it is not.
Your feelings are not a shame
When talking to a friend with suicidal thoughts we must avoid treating the problem as a reason for shame and blaming the person. Suicide must be addressed openly, as it is too serious a topic to leave things hanging. Openly discussing the topic is a protective factor, since the more you know what is really happening, the sooner you can intervene. Furthermore, if the person sees that someone cares about them, they may have a greater desire to live.
This, unfortunately, is just the opposite of what many loved ones do. There are quite a few parents, siblings, friends and other close people who explicitly tell those who have these kinds of thoughts not to tell other people, so as not to worry them or make them think what they are not. Although well-intentioned and concerned, these people are not aware that their “advice” can further aggravate the situation.
Telling a person with suicidal thoughts not to talk openly about them contributes to making them ashamed of having them., something they already feel. Furthermore, this makes them feel worse because they feel guilty for having worried someone who already knows, making their depression even worse. To top all this off, if more people accidentally know that you have suicidal thoughts, you will feel worse because you haven’t known how to hide it. All this increases the chances of committing suicide.
As we have already mentioned, it is better to talk openly about it than to hide it. If the person wants to commit suicide, the best thing to prevent them from doing so is to know as soon as possible. If you do not have any suicidal thoughts, we will simply have asked an uncomfortable question, nothing more. The belief that talking about suicide increases the chances of committing suicide is not true. The more information we know about what is happening to you, the better, and the more help we can offer.
At first, trying to understand a person with suicidal thoughts is difficult if they have not experienced these types of thoughts at some time. However, it is not impossible nor does it mean that you do not understand it. A fundamental aspect to understanding a friend with this type of thoughts and knowing how to help them is put yourself in their shoes, make a mental effort to understand their situation and try to imagine what they want and what they don’t want to hear.. In other words, cultivate emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is our best ally to address a topic as delicate as wanting to commit suicide, but it also serves us for any other aspect of life that is directly related to emotions. Few people realize it, but not all of us feel the same or experience the things around us in the same way. You have to understand that each one, with their personality and feelings, is different.
Emotional intelligence as it is conceptualized today is understood as the ability to put two skills into practice. On the one hand, we have intrapersonal intelligence, which is the ability to understand, identify and manage our own emotions, while on the other we have interpersonal intelligence, which is the ability to recognize, understand and understand the emotions of others.
Both can be useful to talk openly with a person whom we suspect may have suicidal thoughts, but interpersonal communication is especially useful. Through it we can try to think how we would feel, What we would not like to be told and how words, although well-intentioned, can be painful or even make the situation worse.. We must think about the possible consequences of our way of approaching the problem.
Empathy cannot be missing. Furthermore, we must try to put ourselves in her place, try to take her same point of view, think about what has led her to make an option as radical as wanting to commit suicide. From the outside it may seem like it’s not that big of a deal but, as we have mentioned, everyone is as they are and our lives are very different. The extreme despair and sadness that depression entails does not just happen, there is a compelling reason.
Call in case of emergency
Suicidal thoughts are not synonymous with imminent suicide. There are even people who fantasize about their death and wonder what would happen if they decided to end their life and they are never going to commit it. However, it is clear that simply having these types of ideas in your mind is not very flattering. When a friend tells us that he has suicidal thoughts, it is something to worry about and intervene as soon as possible.
If we talk about the subject with our friend and he tells us, explicitly and clearly, that he wants to commit suicide and that he will do so shortly, it is clear that we are facing an emergency. It is a matter of days, perhaps hours, before a loved one ends their life. Therefore, What we should do at that precise moment is pick up a phone and call the emergency services.. If we are not close to the person we believe is going to commit suicide, we must contact someone close to him, notify him and also call the police indicating where he lives or where he could be now.
If he tells us that he fantasizes or that he has thought about committing suicide but it does not seem like he is going to do it in the short term, we should also intervene. We should not let our guard down or believe that it is a phase, that when what is worrying you has been “fixed” you will be happy and content like Easter. We must worry, but fortunately we have greater room for maneuver compared to the previous case. Just because you’re not going to do it today doesn’t mean you don’t have a plan already prepared. There is a risk of taking his own life.
We must consult with professional help such as a specialized psychologist, primary care and, also, with information services so that they can tell us to what extent we can help and what we can do (Hope Telephone: 717 003 717). We must provide these professionals with all the data that we have at our disposal, details that we have been able to make clear from our open conversation with him or her about his or her suicidal thoughts. Any information we can provide will help guide us and explain what we should do.
