Hypersexuality: When Is Sex Addiction A Psychological Problem?
What is sex addiction? When can we say that there is hypersexuality? Find the causes, symptoms and how to combat a sex addiction through psychology.
Many times we trivialize this problem, and we think that if someone is addicted to sex, it won’t really hurt them. However, the reality of hypersexuality is very different. The sex addiction It generates enormous discomfort and can cause work, relationship or even social problems.
When is someone said to be addicted to sex or suffer from hypersexuality?
He hypersexuality problem The thing is that when you have sex it is not because the person feels like it, but because you want to relieve discomfort or release tension. In these cases, sexual desire functions as an obsession and the sexual response (masturbation or sexual intercourse) is a compulsion or ritual. When sexual intercourse is achieved, the person, far from feeling relieved and calm for a time, is more eager for a new contact and if they do not achieve it, great frustration, discomfort and withdrawal symptoms appear such as: anxiety, irritability, sleep problems, and restlessness.
People who suffer hypersexuality or sex addiction They tend to have sexual and personal problems with their partner (arguments due to the partner’s refusal or infidelities), they practice excessive masturbation (for several hours each day) and they may have work problems such as losing their job due to long periods of time. absences from the bathroom or due to affairs with a partner and, on many occasions, health problems (sexually transmitted diseases as a result of impulsiveness and not thinking about the consequences of one’s actions). In cases of hypersexuality, psychologists establish nymphomania as sex addiction on the part of women and satyriasis in cases that happen to a man.
The sex addicts They often feel inundated by sexual thoughts and fantasies that already cause discomfort. At first, masturbation is usually enough to temporarily satisfy the desire, but as the search for stimulation intensifies, they try to put these fantasies into practice to get rid of obsessive thoughts. So much so that we can identify the following symptoms in hypersexuality.
Lack of control about sexual misconduct.
Persistent sexual behavior with self-destructive characteristics
Inability to avoid or repress said behavior.
Severe mood swings related to sexual activity (for example, depression or euphoria).
Gradual increase of the number of sexual relations.
Investment of an excessive amount of time to pursue sexual relations.
Negative interference of this sexual conduct in occupational or leisure social activities, or medical or legal consequences.
sexual behaviors of risk
Exhibitionism usual
Often the sex addicts They suffer from anxiety or depression problems and use sex as an emotional escape to relieve the discomfort they feel in their daily lives.
Why does sex addiction appear? Causes of hypersexuality
The problem of hypersexuality It resembles obsessive-compulsive disorder, chemical drug addiction, or bulimia.
In all these cases, problematic behavior appears as a consequence of the need to alleviate discomfort that cannot be alleviated in any other way. For example, a period of prolonged work stress. Even so, there are some causes that make this compulsive sexual urge ends up becoming a sexual disorder.
To develop the hypersexuality sexual disorders It is necessary that the person be impulsive and not have enough resources to manage their emotions. Not everyone develops hypersexuality simply because they suffer from a problem or a period of stress.
Thus, in a primitive way, by masturbating or having sex with someone, the person manages to relieve the tension caused by work stress. However, since the work problem persists because no problem-solving strategy has actually worked, the need for masturbation or the sexual drive It ends up being more and more necessary, thus entering a vicious circle that ends up being a self-destructive spiral.
In these cases of excess of pathological sex , just as in the treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder or addictions, pharmacological support is usually necessary. Seeing a psychiatric specialist can help relieve these uncontrollable impulses.
However, medication alone does not solve the problem. It is essential to carry out psychological therapy to be able to get out of that spiral that I told you about before. Without professional support it is very difficult to escape the symptoms because these problems are complex to solve without help. The problem is that those who suffer from hypersexuality rarely go to therapy, perhaps because of the prejudices or taboo of admitting that they have this difficulty in front of the public. increased libido
How to improve hypersexuality or sex addiction?
There are some attitudes with which you can try to solve the hypersexuality and all the sexual obsessions you feel. Despite this, it is vital to have the help of a specialist when these cases affect many areas of your life.
1. Make a logbook
Every time you feel the sex drive or the need to have sex or masturbate, ask yourself, do you feel like it or are you doing it for another reason? What is wrong? What is worrying you? Detect the cause of the need for your sexual obsessions so you can work on it.
2. Resolve aspects of your life that you don’t like
In many cases the symptoms of one of these sexual disorders They serve a deterrent function, that is, while I think about the desire for sex I am not thinking about the anger that the boss has given me, since thinking about this hurts more than thinking about wanting to have sex. Thus, resolving the aspects of your life that are not going well, detecting dynamics that are repeated and that you do not like, generating goals that make you feel better, are fundamental aspects so that the compulsion of your sexual behavior does not make sense.
When you feel the increased libido focus on doing activities that prevent you from thinking about anything else, distract yourself with something you like, practice hobbies that you have somewhat forgotten or that you have always thought about doing.
4. Delete mobile applications that facilitate meetings
Social networks and applications to meet new people make it more difficult to overcome the hypersexuality feminine and masculine. Make it difficult, delete phones from contacts, delete applications, etc. The goal is for you to think before acting. Before calling on the phone you will have more time because you will have to dedicate more effort to finding the contact and thus you will not give so much power to impulsiveness. Of course, commitment to oneself is necessary to not want to contact.
5. Postpone the compulsion
A strategy that can help you stop this sexual behavior is to continually postpone it. Every time you feel the sexual urge, use a mantra-like phrase: “not now, in an hour” and start doing something, that is, replace the activity with another such as playing sports for example, since brain mechanisms are activated. similar to those activated by sex. If you manage to last an hour and continue with the desire, say the phrase again.
6. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Think about how your partner may feel: used, exhausted, or frustrated by not being able to satisfy your sexual appetite Working on empathy can help your couple’s problems not be so big and ask them for help. Find something to do together as a substitute for compulsive sex.
Although all these psychological methods can help you improve your sexual experiences, the reality is that only with therapy will you be able to better confront your hypersexuality. The sexual addiction It can not only affect your relationships with your partner, but also your personal and professional life. For all these reasons, it is essential to end these sexual obsessions.
