Any human being, simply because he is one, has to experience a vital drama: his own interests and the interests of others, which are expressed through social norms, do not coincide. However, to survive it is necessary to exist within a certain social fabric, be it a family, a village, a town or a large city. This is where the strategies created to manage this tension appear: you have to be yourself, but trying not to earn the contempt or rejection of others.
Fortunately, most people are able to combine these two realities (that of public interests and private interests) well. However, on other occasions there are those who choose attitudes that are markedly too cynical or opportunistic to be genuinely pro-social. Usually, We know these individuals as hypocritical people
But… what really characterizes hypocritical people? Let’s see it, based on a proposal of 6 typical traits of those who adopt this strategy to socialize.
6 characteristics of hypocritical people
Although there are several ways to identify hypocritical people, generally we will be able to recognize the following characteristics in them.
1. Explicit but inconsistent moralism
One of the easiest ways to differentiate hypocritical people is to look at their use of morality
From the individualist point of view, moral norms can have an unpleasant side, especially when we feel that we must do something that we do not feel like, but they also have a positive side, since we can appeal to them when we want other people to behave in a certain way. a way that benefits us. Hypocritical people know this, and that is why they use morality to try to ensure that others are governed by those values
Of course, this contrasts with their own compliance with the rules. Whoever lives in an environment in which others live according to moral restrictions that oneself does not follow has a certain competitive advantage, and hypocritical people abuse them with practically no remorse.
2. False affability
Hypocritical people tend to look for quick and dishonest ways to gain social capital (that is, the sympathies of many people, or at least the possibility of drawing on them). To do this, something common is to feign a false interest in the other’s life at key moments, such as greetings or goodbyes. It is evident that it is not an honest and spontaneous initiative because, beyond these key moments, sympathy transforms into difference.
3. Minimal social contact until the favor arrives
Another of the common attitudes of hypocritical people consists of having “friends” or known people on their agenda, without having any dealings with them, and taking advantage of this only to ask for specific favors.
Unlike others, who in the age of social networks may have many contacts stored passively in the phone book or in the friends section of one of their profiles on social networks, those who have this opportunistic spirit are not consistent with the fact that they barely deal with those people, and if they can, They take advantage of the fact of knowing them without contributing anything in return
This is important, because what is appealed to when asking for a favor, friendship, has not existed or no longer exists in practice, only theoretically. However, it seems that it starts to become a real emotional connection seconds before making a request. Shortly after, that supposed friendship will once again fall into oblivion.
4. They make useless gestures of kindness
Trying to invite people to tapas when someone else has already paid, notifying them of an event that clearly cannot be attended… These gestures are a way of try to seduce people without exposing yourself to minor annoyances or inconveniences that this may generate.
5. Praise on the one hand, complicity with ridicule on the other
Another typical attitude of hypocritical people consists of showing themselves as friends while, when the other person is not present and they are criticized, complicity is shown with those criticisms, regardless of whether they are fair or not It is also common for the hypocritical person themselves to bring up these criticisms, sometimes with the aim of gaining social acceptance by detecting imperfections in others.
6. Disappearances when you hit rock bottom
When someone is going through bad times, it is relatively common for the hypocritical people around them who showed close contact with them to disappear in anticipation that they can be asked for help, even if it is minimal.