Being in love is, without a doubt, a unique experience that can make us feel complete.
But couple relationships are complex, and although we can start a relationship being fully in love, over time problems and conflicts can arise. If we do not manage them well, we can feel great dissatisfaction, tremendous frustration and great pain because our romance is not going as we wanted.
Loving relationships are still interpersonal relationships, in which each member of the couple has their needs, their desires, their expectations, their beliefs, their values… Believing that people fit together by magic is a mistake. In fact, it is a very common mistake, since novels or television promote a wrong idea of what romantic love is.
To be successful in a relationship, it is important to work on it, have common goals, negotiate and reach agreements, communicate effectively, love from freedom, trust each other and, of course, respect our lover. Although we are often unaware, dissatisfaction in a couple manifests itself due to poor communication, emotional deficiencies and irrational beliefs.
When this happens is when you think that you are no longer happy with your partner, and your way of being and your attitudes begin to change, perhaps even without realizing it.
How to detect that you are not happy as a couple
Knowing when you are not happy as a couple is relatively easy, since dissatisfaction appears and, therefore, so does unhappiness What is not so simple is detecting the reasons why one is not happy as a couple, and often requires deep and objective self-reflection.
The first step to change is to be aware of what needs to be changed, since knowing the behaviors that are affecting the good progress of the relationship is very important. But… how can we know what is wrong? A good strategy is to answer the questions I ask you below.
1. Are there grudges? Because?
Love is a very intense feeling, and In some situations it causes excessive reactions This happens because the emotional pain we feel when things are not going well in our love relationship is very deep and penetrating. Disputes with our partner hurt more than conflicts with other people around us and provoke a passionate reaction in us.
If you detect that there are resentments towards your partner, it is better to solve them as soon as possible to avoid entering a vicious circle that makes the problem worse and worse
2. Do you negotiate in conflicts?
One of the most frequent causes of relationship conflicts is poor communication, so it is necessary to be assertive especially in the most difficult moments.
Each member of the couple has their own way of seeing the world, and reaching agreements is not always easy. In a loving relationship we should not impose our opinions, and it is necessary to use dialogue. Knowing how to negotiate and reach agreements is vitally important if what we want is for the relationship to last.
3. Do you agree on the important things?
That you always agree on all the decisions you have to make is impossible, just as it is impossible for you to always share the same points of view. But for a relationship to last, yes, It is essential that you reach agreements and agree on important aspects For example, common goals or core values.
Although each individual has their own scale of values, for the relationship to strengthen it is necessary to build a common scale of values. It is important that you row together so that the boat moves forward.
4. Does he support you in difficult times?
Nobody is perfect, and as I have already said, conflicts in a couple can appear at any time.
But when you go through difficult times, such as losing your job or losing a loved one, it is always better to stay together than to throw each one in one direction. If your partner puts aside disputes to support you, It is a sign that he is committed to the relationship and to you
5. Do intimate relationships work?
One of the factors that most influence the well-being of a couple is intimate relationships, which play a very important role in its unity and stability.
Although scientific studies suggest that quantity is not as important as quality, lack of sexual contact, whether due to monotony or other sexual problems, can cause serious difficulties for the couple’s good functioning. In these cases it is necessary to go to sexual therapy.
6. Are you thinking about cheating on your partner?
Fidelity is one of the fundamental values to build a stable loving relationship and marriage; However, infidelity is very common today. Overcoming it is not easy, as it is considered a betrayal and disloyalty
Monotony or communication problems can often be the root of infidelity. And although we sometimes think that when this happens only one member of the couple suffers, infidelity usually causes pain to both parties.
Going to couples therapy: a solution to improve well-being in the relationship
When a couple goes through any of the aforementioned problems and is able to detect it, if they do their part, they may find a remedy and find the path to happiness again with the person they love. However, many times it is inevitable to have the help of a professional expert in this topic, that is, a couples psychotherapist.
Unlike what happens in other forms of psychotherapy, It is not necessary to have received a diagnosis of a mental disorder to resort to it, since couples psychologists do not focus only on the individual to help them find solutions, but on the relationship and the reasons that make it difficult.
Mensalus Institute: Are you looking for help to regain happiness in your love relationship or to get over a breakup?
Whether because you want to regain happiness in your relationship or you want to overcome a breakup, the Mensalus Institute of Barcelona can help you. This clinic is considered one of the best psychotherapy centers in Spain, and not only offers couples therapy in person in Barcelona, but also online, so you can benefit from therapeutic sessions whenever you want and from wherever you are.
Mensalus has a team of psychologists highly specialized in sexual and couples therapy, so they can provide you with solutions and help you with the difficulties you are going through in your relationship, whether to improve communication, get common goals back on track, overcome sexual problems (lack of desire or excitement, problems reaching orgasm, premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, etc.), accept infidelity, deal effectively with specific crises, combat distancing or any other situation that is affecting your well-being and that of your lover.
Its professionals apply techniques and strategies aimed at growth, both individually and as a couple, and enable you to learn. new ways to relate to your partner At the same time, they provide you with the necessary tools to overcome difficulties in the relationship and coexistence, couple conflicts, and also overcome heartbreak in the event that one of the two decides to end the relationship.
