How often do you feel alone? Loneliness is a feeling that most people can experience from time to time, but… What to do if this feeling becomes persistent over time?
And if it is not dealt with properly, loneliness can become extremely harmful to our mental health. And that is precisely why we should not normalize the discomfort that we may feel when we notice that we are alone, something that can happen even if we are surrounded by people who appreciate and love us. Not only that: we must take measures to prevent this problem from continuing to wear us down mentally. So let’s see some general advice that you can have as a reference when faced with that experience of “I feel alone” without forgetting that the most effective measure is to attend psychotherapy.
Many of us can experience feelings of loneliness when we are isolated for too long; nevertheless, The feeling of loneliness does not only depend on us being physically alone Loneliness, like all our emotions, is nothing more than a state of mind.
According to several scientific experiments carried out, the feeling of loneliness does not have to reflect the number of friends or family we have around us. It may be the case that we are surrounded by co-workers, family and friends and our feeling of loneliness only persists and increases.
In this sense, there are several things we can do to manage the feeling of loneliness: here are four tips that can help us.
1. Make friends with yourself first
Taking care of yourself is vitally important for our mental health. The truth is that we may feel alone because deep down we long for our own friendship and we are not at peace ourselves.
Think about when was the last time you treated yourself well and took some time to relax and de-stress? I’m not talking about falling on the couch after an intense day at work. I mean taking conscious time for yourself and your thoughts. Thoughts focused on you, that have nothing to do with work or romantic problems. It can be something as simple as taking a relaxing bath for an hour instead of a quick shower.
Another option would be to do some activity or hobby that we really like or simply read a good book. When loneliness knocks at the door, a good idea is to look inward and spend some time with ourselves. Once we learn to love and respect ourselves, we may not feel so alone, because we will know that we can always count on ourselves.
2. Be compassionate towards others
Sometimes when we are alone, all we want is for someone to be there for us. A person who understands us and encourages us when things get difficult
Taking the initiative and caring about others can help us. Don’t you feel better when someone gives you a compliment or does you a favor? Don’t you feel more valued and less alone?
Being kind and empathetic to other people not only helps the person receiving the kindness and empathy, but also the subject who performs those actions. After all, In this way, we are actively engaging in a social interaction which can mean being one step away from making a new friend or simply feeling less alone, knowing that you have done something good for someone else.
According to scientific studies by psychologists Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, altruism can lead us to improve our mental and physical health as well as speed up recovery time after having suffered other types of illnesses.
The next time you experience that feeling of loneliness, try talking to a family member or friend who could use some support. Another excellent option would be to volunteer in an organization whose mission we identify with.
3. Accept that there is no perfect friend
Nobody is perfect. If you feel lonely, you may have fantasized about the idea of being completely socialized You may have imagined what it would be like to have an ideal group of friends. The truth is that, in reality, there is no such thing as perfection.
Several scientific studies have shown that those with perfectionistic traits are at greater risk of suffering from depression throughout their lives. Due to the feeling of alienation they suffer, feelings of loneliness and isolation can be much more intense Perfection when it comes to socializing can make us completely asocial.
The search for a perfect person means that we never find them. This generates feelings of frustration in us that make us feel less and less inclined to socialize with other people. Many individuals who experience feelings of chronic loneliness are actually social perfectionists.
Don’t let your perfectionism get in the way of your ability to make friends People are not perfect and not all social interactions are entirely to our liking. Give people the chance they deserve!
4. Open your mind to new hobbies and forms of personal development
Many times, the feeling of loneliness is based on a closed-mindedness that we cannot even admit at first, something that greatly limits the type of social contexts to which we are exposed Therefore, it is recommended that, faced with the loneliness caused by not connecting emotionally with other people (or at least, not doing so reciprocally), we maintain an open mind when meeting people in new situations and through new hobbies. , leaving prejudices aside.
Seek help for intense discomfort due to loneliness
If you think you are suffering from chronic or excessive loneliness, It is very important that you seek help from a qualified professional for this That person will give you the necessary tools to make this feeling of loneliness progressively move away from our lives. It is a great first step and gives us the opportunity to talk to someone about the feelings we are experiencing.
