‘I Feel Undervalued’: What To Do When You Feel That Way?

What to do when you feel undervalued? Why do we feel this way? Discover how to deal with a feeling of undervaluation and regain confidence in ourselves

How to stop feeling undervalued?

Feel undervalued or undervalued It can affect both our emotions and the way we think and act towards others. In fact, perceiving these types of sensations or beliefs can cause many difficulties for our mental health. : when a person has this feeling, or this belief constantly, it seriously damages how we see ourselves, our self-esteem, how we connect with others, how we feel our self-efficacy… in short, it affects us in what way. way we live. That is why it is so important to work on this feeling.

What is undervaluing? Meaning

He meaning of undervalue It aims to attribute to a person or an object a lower appreciation or value than it really deserves due to its actions or aptitudes. Within psychology, people can feel undervalued when others do not recognize their actions or the decisions they have made as valid. But feeling undervalued is not only when others do not recognize us, but also when we feel that they do not listen to us, do not pay attention to us, do not support us, do not protect us, when they give us labels that we find aversive (fat, lazy , bad…), when a person imposes his reality on ours… That is, we can acquire the feeling of undervaluation through socializing in a way that generates the feeling of being ‘below…’. The other person can influence in an active way (insulting, for example) or passively (not listening to us).

Sometimes people can have this feeling of undervaluation because we do not perceive ourselves as capable or capable. Feeling undervalued can be linked to low self-esteem as well as other disorders such as anxiety or depression.

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Signs of feeling undervalued

People who constantly feel undervalued They may feel like this:

  • Negative thoughts: When a person feels undervalued for others and for herself, she can accumulate a series of negative thoughts towards her own actions and decisions.
  • Low selfsteem: The undervaluation It may be linked to a poor perception of ourselves. In fact, people with low self-esteem tend to focus more on their defects, something that distorts their self-perception and self-efficacy, that is, we tend to minimize our capabilities and not face great challenges.
  • Insecurity about decisions: To the feel undervalued, a person can feel very insecure when making decisions. In this way, undervaluation makes them doubt what they really want, something that affects their decision-making. Signs that you feel undervalued
  • Social phobia: Experiencing others judging us can contribute to us feeling ‘bad’ in front of others. Something that can lead to certain feelings of social anxiety.
  • Isolation: The people who undervalue too much, they can become isolated because they are not able to face the challenges of everyday life.

When someone feels undervalued or undervalued both for others and for herself, she may end up suffering certain mental health problems. For this reason, it is important if you think you feel this way to go to a professional psychologist.

What to do when you feel undervalued?

These feelings of undervaluation They can have an effect on the decisions we make in our daily lives as well as our behavior and attitude towards others. For this reason, it is important that you try to work on it. According to psychologists, we can do the following to deal with it.

  1. Focus on actions and not words: Some people find it difficult to say ‘thank you’ or certain words of appreciation to others. Therefore, sometimes it is better to focus on actions than words. Gratitude and appreciation are often shown through small gestures.
  2. Learn to say ‘no’: Prioritizing others before yourself can affect you in many ways, both professionally, psychologically and personally. Therefore, it is important that you learn to say ‘no’ when you do not want to give your time to others or require moments for yourself.
  3. Practice gratitude: Sometimes we don’t realize what we have, both in our abilities and around us. To beat a feeling of undervaluation Perhaps it is a big step to try to appreciate who we are and what we have achieved in our life. When a person feels undervalued they may end up not appreciating what others do for them. In these cases, it can be beneficial for both you and those around you to try to be more grateful for the gestures that others do for you. That is, see everything you have, both in you and around you, that makes you feel comfortable so you can express it outwardly. How to stop feeling undervalued?
  4. Self-reinforcement: Try to see your achievements, qualities, and all the steps you have taken to get where you are. Practice recognizing everything you have achieved thanks to your skills and abilities.
  5. Reframe your negative thoughts: With this belief of contempt we tend to link with more negative thoughts about ourselves and our abilities, we tend to punish ourselves or even sabotage ourselves. Identifying that it is a belief and cutting the chain of negative thoughts is essential. Don’t believe everything your head says, pay attention to it, be aware of where it comes from and propose a change, or at least stop that thought. To the feel undervalued It is normal for people to focus on negative thoughts that reinforce these types of feelings. Therefore, it is important to try to respond to these thoughts that are not ‘useful’ for you with others that are more realistic and that can help you feel more appreciated both by yourself and by others.
  6. Communicate your feelings: In the case that you feel undervalued For others it can be very helpful to express the reason behind these feelings. Telling others how you feel can make them see reason and begin to show more gratitude towards your actions. If you have a difficulty with a person, learn to express how you feel, ask for a change in behavior, or set other assertive limits.
  7. Go to therapy: If this feeling of undervaluation is constant, perhaps there is a problem hidden behind it. In these cases, it may be a good decision to go to a mental health professional to work on these thoughts that limit you in your daily life.
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The personal undervaluation It makes people not feel capable of facing new challenges. Feeling valued, whether by others or by yourself, is important to having a full life.

Alba Sanz, Psychologist Centro Ahora