I Have A Girlfriend But I Like Someone Else: 5 Tips On What To Do
Relationships are a type of complex, deep bond and a great source of stimulation. There are conflicts, potholes and difficulties, but they are one of the most significant types of relationships that exist.
Now, throughout our lives it is likely that we will experience more than one relationship crisis. It is also possible that some people who already have a partner begin to feel attracted and notice other people, or experience a crush on third parties.
What happens if it reaches a situation similar to “I have a girlfriend but I like someone else”?
I have a girlfriend but I like someone else: what to do?
Finding yourself in a situation in which we have a partner but we begin to experience something for another person is difficult and can generate a high level of suffering not only for the current relationship but for the subject themselves.
Although this will depend on the type of bond with the couple and the personality and perspective of the subject in this situation, in many cases we are faced with a type of situation that can cause doubts, fear of losing or hurting your partner, feeling of guilt anguish, sadness and even in some cases depression.
This phenomenon can occur at any time in a relationship, but it is much more common (and is when there is usually a higher level of suffering for both) than when we are in a phase of an already consolidated relationship. in which passion and infatuation have lost intensity
This fact is partly facilitated by familiarity with the other person, as well as routine: new or different stimuli from the usual can attract a lot of attention. In any case and regardless of the moment in which it occurs, the big question arises: what can I do?
First of all, we must analyze and take into account whether we really like the other person on a romantic level, or whether we are talking about sexual attraction or mere sympathy. We must take into account that Being attracted to other people is natural and does not imply any disloyalty on our part unless in addition to mere attraction we carry out an approach for sexual purposes.
On the other hand, it is also possible that we only feel affection or sympathy for another person, without talking about falling in love and even without desire Without going any further, this is what happens with friendship.
Now, if the other person begins to occupy our thoughts constantly, if we prioritize the company of said person or if we are unsure of what we feel, perhaps a deeper assessment of what this person generates in us is advisable.
2. If we are dealing with deeper feelings… consider why
In the event that it becomes obvious to us that we are feeling something for another person who is not our partner and that goes beyond mere desire, The next step is to analyze why
In this sense, there are many questions that we can ask ourselves, and that can help us direct our thinking to discover what it is that both our partner and this third person really produce in us.
Some of them are the following:
3. Evaluate the alternatives
Once we analyze what we feel and a possible reason for it, the next step will be to propose and evaluate what alternatives we have. The main ones can be summarized as follows: continue with the current relationship or break it, and in the latter case try or not start a new relationship
It is advisable not to make the decision in advance and to truly evaluate each option, what it generates for us and the possible consequences that may arise from them.
You also have to take into account what breaking up entails, including what will change and how it will affect each of those involved (something that may include other types of losses).
Furthermore, it is important to keep in mind that We should not play with anyone’s feelings neither with those of your partner nor with those of the person of your interest: the others are not mere toys for our entertainment and enjoyment but rather thinking and feeling beings.
4. Make a decision
Once the different alternatives have been evaluated, it is time to make a decision. This final decision has to be made based on what we feel is correct and most sincere: We have to act according to what we really want and what we feel good about afterwards.
Whether we continue with our relationship or decide to break up and start another, the reason behind it cannot be the fear of losing an opportunity, of not being able to establish or maintain the relationship or of being alone.
Nor should we subordinate the decision to the other: It is generally obvious that breaking up is going to cause pain to our partner if that is the decision we make, but if our relationship is no longer sustainable, it may be best to leave it.
5. After the decision: guidelines to follow
Regardless of the decision made, it is necessary to take into account the need to assess what to do afterwards. If we decide to stay with our partner, we must accept the need to see the other person and also work on those aspects of the relationship that have made us doubt. Communication is essential and it will have to be encouraged and its effectiveness increased.
In the event that there is routine and monotony, work can be done to experience new sensations and activities and introduce changes that allow the emotion to be recovered as much as possible.
If the final decision is to break up, we will have to try that this breakup be handled in the best possible way, without deceiving or blaming the other person. Nor should we try to force the other person to leave the relationship: if it is our decision we have to assume our responsibility. We must also take into account the possibility that our partner or ex-partner reacts badly, with anger, sadness or reproaches (although we should not admit violent attitudes).
In any case, it is recommended, at least initially, zero contact with the person for whom we have not chosen: If we are in a relationship, avoiding the person we are attracted to will reduce possible discomfort or doubts while if we break up it is also advisable to cut contact or reduce it to a minimum in order not to leave doubts or generate anguish or confusion for the person left behind or even for ourselves.
