I Have Been Fired From Work: How To Overcome Work Grief
Unfortunately, the phenomenon of dismissal is a very present reality in contemporary societies, characterized by competitiveness and the constant search for efficiency. But, evidently, it is not something that has only emerged during the last few decades; It is something closely linked to the existence of a labor market, although this becomes more acute in the 21st century, which has given rise to a productive framework in which jobs constantly appear and disappear.
The point is that a good part of what makes the “I’ve been frozen out of work” experience problematic is that these situations are almost never limited to being a technical problem, something that can be resolved simply by following a series of predefined steps to get started. to work somewhere else without wasting time. On the contrary: the first step is to take the appropriate measures to deal with our emotions, and above all, with work-related grief, which makes us experience an emotional crisis (or even a life crisis, in some cases).
Therefore, in this article we will see some general advice that may be useful if you have to face the experience of being fired from work and the psychological grief that this generates.
As I have mentioned before, a dismissal is not only a formality nor an economic or labor problem. It is, above all, a crisis that must be faced psychologically. Not only to manage emotional discomfort and make it affect us as little as possible, but also to prevent this psychological “shock” as much as possible and make it difficult for us to have a sustainable and viable work project again in the short and long term. medium term, by making us go slow.
In this sense, There are several elements that force us to carry out a psychological “readjustment” after being fired from work. The most common are the following (although they do not have to appear all at once):
These are all aspects of layoff that affect us mentally, but technically they are not workplace grief; The latter is a part of those psychological phenomena that influence us after losing a job. Let’s begin, first of all, by defining the term “psychological grief”: it is the emotionally painful process of overcoming a significant loss whether due to the death of a loved one, the fact of suffering an injury that has rapidly changed our body, the experience of having to leave our country of origin, etc.
In the case of workplace grief, this loss is associated with our work self, and normally occurs after a dismissal, a demotion in the company’s organization, or a retirement. It can even arise after we have resigned from our job and regret it when we see that our plans for leaving that company have not turned out as we expected.
How to manage work grief after being laid off
Follow these tips to overcome the bad situation if you have been fired from work.
1. Express what you feel and do not reject the help of others
Many people, especially men, Not only do they not consider that they can have the emotional support of their loved ones, but they also adopt an attitude of overcompensation to not “show themselves weak” and see that even if they have lost that job, they are capable of continuing to provide for the family and for their own lives. This is an error that, in addition to generating frustration and deteriorating mental health, tends to strain personal relationships in the closest and most intimate social circle. In this sense, it is very important to be honest and communicate how that experience makes us feel, on the one hand, and not reject the help that they may offer us, or even ask for it directly if we feel it is necessary.
Furthermore, it has been shown that talking about what makes us feel bad or has generated psychological grief in us is something useful to overcome it as soon as possible, through a phenomenon known as emotional labeling. By putting into words our worries and thoughts associated with anguish, We learn to see these topics with greater distance and neutrality and we stop avoiding thinking about it because of how intimidating it is to face a tangle of mixed and unordered feelings.
Everything has its positive side, even a layoff; During those first days of grief at work, you will have no excuse to adopt healthy habits, many of which you did not carry out because work took up your time. But, in addition, taking care of yourself is very important to face work-related grief if we have been fired from work, since Eating well and getting enough rest makes us less vulnerable to stress and anxiety problems. So, try to cook most of the dishes you eat and establish sleep routines in your schedule that allow you to get enough sleep each night. This way, you will be more equipped to manage your emotions.
3. Work on your self-knowledge and reinforce your self-esteem
Taking notes in a personal diary is a very good way to review ourselves, rethink our values and priorities, and be aware of our achievements, as long as we approach this task aiming to be constructive. To overcome work-related grief, we must let go of the temptation to torment ourselves by assuming that we must punish ourselves for what happened, since that would put us in a vicious circle of sadness and passivity that is especially harmful in a situation in which we must consider new work options. In this sense, we should focus on all those processes of self-knowledge that lead us to connect better with what we really want to achieve, and what we know we are Apaches to do.
4. Don’t avoid thinking about being fired
All psychological grief must be overcome through acceptance, in order to turn the page. This implies, among other things, that avoiding thinking about what happened is counterproductive, since it paralyzes us and, in addition to being ineffective (we always end up thinking about it whether we want to or not), puts us in a loop of anxiety-avoidance-anxiety. Do not see this experience as a taboo subject, but yes, think about it in a constructive way and trying to learn from your mistakes, extracting information that will help you formulate hypotheses about what you may want to do next.
5. Adopt guidelines to return to being active at work
The fact that going through a layoff forces us to face the challenge of finding another job has bad things and good things. We have already seen the bad ones, but the good ones are that this task can be an excellent platform from which to reinvigorate our ability to believe in ourselves and accept that this dismissal has occurred by taking control of the situation.
So, if you really get involved in adopting a daily routine that brings you closer and closer to finding a new job, this will prevent your attention from falling again and again into those dynamics of ineffective coping with grief that lead you to feed the bother. constantly and unnecessarily. Make sure these routines have very short-term goals and deadlines.
6. If you see that you can’t handle the situation, go to a psychologist
In psychotherapy you will find professional attention adapted to your case and you will have a training program in the management of your emotions, which will be very useful for you to feel better and, also, to face the challenge of looking for another job (if you need it). .
Do you want to have psychotherapeutic support?
As we have seen, the complexity of workplace grief means that this experience has a great capacity to overwhelm us emotionally. Now, that does not mean that we do not have any possibility of facing it and adopting strategies to ensure that it does not make us suffer in an unnecessary way, turning the page as soon as possible. But as with all problems related to emotions, it is advisable to assume that nothing forces us to go through all this without seeking help. Therefore, if you are interested in going to the psychologist to start a psychotherapy process, contact me.
My name is Javier Ares and I am a General Health Psychologist specialized in emotional, anxiety and relationship problems. I can help you both through in-person sessions and through online sessions.
