I Know What’s Good For Me… Why Don’t I Do It? How To Implement Changes
“I have clarity about what things would do me very good in my life right now but… really, why can’t I implement them in my life? Why don’t I do it knowing that it is the best for me?”
On many occasions we fail to start a change that we deliberately want to carry out We think about it and even decide but in the end, none of this happens.
I want, I want, I want and I don’t: how to get out of the loop?
It’s easy to talk about what we want to change but actually implementing the changes is not such a simple task. However, it is possible, many people achieve it, so the question is: What can I do so that I can also be one of those people?
Here are some guidelines that can help you implement the changes you need in your life.
1. The commitment
Starting by reviewing this point is essential since We don’t start implementing changes until we really commit to them
What is commitment? Committing is having clarity that this is important to you and, above all, deciding with will that you are going to prioritize this in your life.
The fact of making a change, no matter how small, involves effort and our mind does not like that. The mind always goes into survival mode and returns to the familiar because it is easier. That is to say, it will always tend to take you towards what it is used to because in the short term it generates less effort and less expenditure of energy.
It may be that you are not committing because the discomfort is still bearable and that makes you postpone starting to implement. But… Is it necessary to wait until you can’t take it anymore to start taking action?
Committing to something is decisively telling your mind (and you) that from now on things are going to be different even if it takes a little effort and energy at first.
2. The intention
Committing is the first step and something that can help us commit and start taking action is knowing our intentions in depth. That is to say, from where we make the decision and from where we want to implement things
To do this you can make a list of your whys. Why make a change in this direction? Why is it something I want for myself?
On many occasions the reasons why moving in a direction is good and convenient for us seem obvious to us, but putting it on paper helps us find clarity, motivation and greater commitment.
On the other hand, It is necessary to connect with our interior to know where we are working from ; Do we work from self-demand or from self-love? That is to say, imposing things on us as if we were our sergeants and dictators is not the same as giving us the changes from taking care of ourselves. To do this, you can start changing your “shoulds” to “I want,” “I would like,” “I decide,” “I give myself,” “I give myself the opportunity to…”
3. The values
Values are the directions we head in our lives Therefore, they help us make decisions aligned with what is important to us.
In connection with our intention and our whys, reviewing our values can be of great help. What values do you have in your life? Do you take care of them? It may be that this point is failing, perhaps you have not defined your values or perhaps the changes you want are not as aligned with them as you thought. Work on deepening your values.
This is where many fail since to define your objectives and next movements we need to accept what our starting point is and adjust to it. Accept where you are here and now and draw up an action plan towards your goals
Perhaps one of the reasons why you fail to implement a change in your life is because you are not able to adjust to reality. From perfectionism you would like to be already at the point you want to reach and that is why you block yourself, become demotivated and give up quickly. That is to say, since you cannot start from an ideal, you directly decide not to continue, to abandon or to think that this is not for you.
On many occasions we see this ideal so far away that we procrastinate the beginning or become disillusioned because we feel that we are not up to the task. You are probably focusing too much on the final goal and it is difficult for you to accept your present, something that is not going to help you start implementing.
We need to do a good exploration of the starting point. Where am I right now? from there to plan an action plan that brings you closer to your ideal.
Focus on your here and now. You don’t need to start with big things, just make small decisions to implement, decisions that do not involve a radical change from one day to the next but that little by little take you towards your objectives. The changes are progressive, we must not forget this.
5. Motivation
Many people forget that when something requires effort it is important to know how to motivate yourself and also do it often. Each person is motivated in a different way, so in this sense knowing ourselves is of great help
We can start by asking ourselves: What has helped me motivate myself on other occasions? And also because: what do I do to motivate myself now?
Furthermore, learning to focus our attention on our whys and how rewarding it is for us to make this change is the secret.
As I said at the beginning, our mind will always try to take us to the known, it will create excuses and ways to avoid wasting energy doing something differently this time. Therefore, training attention and directing it towards what positive change brings us is a good way to learn to self-motivate.
6. Compassion, and learning to work without comparing yourself
You’re not going to do it perfect Principles are sometimes hard, so starting work from self-compassion, from love for yourself helps us accompany ourselves in our process. Sometimes it will turn out better, other times worse and nothing happens. Always keep your intentions in mind and do not punish and beat yourself up for not being where you would like to be yet or for failing from time to time because that way it will be very difficult for you to persevere with the change.
You are human and as such we all need our times, which may vary between people. Leave behind comparing yourself to others. No one is better or worse than you, integrate the fact that each one is on their own path, each one has their own experiences and each one is only responsible for their own progress.
Finally I want to remind you that repetition is the key to change Repeat what you want to implement over and over again until it becomes easy for your body and your mind. And don’t forget to ask for help from a professional if you need it.
