It is incredible to know how today society is bringing with it the phenomenon of emotional dependence in which little by little people are immersed and, until they are aware that they do not have total control of their lives, they cannot rescue themselves.
That’s right, many people they stop being them to be the ideal couple ; forgetting your dreams, goals and ideals. Many times they even change their beliefs, their tastes, their way of eating, dressing and even thinking, all in order to please that partner they have idealized and wanting to always have them with them.
The bad thing is that by doing so they become a totally different person and end up leading an unwanted life.
There are several reasons why this happens: lack of character, the fear of loneliness the emptiness generated by some significant loss in your childhood, repetitive patterns not yet healed in the generational lineage, basing your own happiness on the relationship, not expressing needs, avoiding emotions, being afraid of abandonment and rejection, having the need to be everything time with your partner… These are some of the warning signs that must be worked on.
Likewise, these behaviors also They are due to the type of attachment that the person may have ; It is necessary to know which one you have (confident, avoidant, anxious or disorganized), recognize it and work on it.
How else can I know that I have an emotional dependence on my partner?
One of the most frequent signs is not present any difference and have not had a single argument with their partner ; When these types of people come to consultation with this argument, I question myself, and I also ask myself: which of the two is depending on the other?
The fear of conflict has made life as a couple a farce that we later regret by not loving each other properly.
It is necessary to recognize that all couples have difficulties ; There is no 100% perfect couple, discrepancies are normal, since all people are different and we transform day by day.
In the midst of a good evolution of oneself is the change of thought, making it more open, more reasonable and much more critical every day according to the culture and the learning carried out in it. That is why differences will always exist and it is not bad to have them; On the contrary, it is something that will enrich the relationship.
Everyone’s point of view is different and valid What should not be allowed is the imposition of thoughts and life on the couple.
Therefore, what is required in a true couple when there is really love is active and assertive listening, communication is the fundamental basis for a good coexistence; Being able to understand the difference between my partner is a key tool for its success, since it will be possible to know how each other can complement each other.
Many people avoid communicating their feelings, emotions and desires to their partner; They deny how their actions affect them and wish deep inside for it to change; but this will not happen if there is no communication of the pain that occurs.
It simply must be you; When there is something you don’t like, express it with affection, don’t stay silent stop seeking approval and love from your partner.
Love yourself first and don’t idealize a person; When you look for a partner it is to share a life full of experiences, walking hand in hand towards your dreams, goals and ideals, building a path that together you will trace day by day.
Having an ideal partner is being with that person with whom you can be yourself without fear of anything, to no one and much less to what they will say. That’s the perfect match; the one who will be with you despite your bad temper, who will continue to look pretty at you even though you wake up disheveled, with your makeup smudged, with your hair loses exposed and even more so when you have the unbearable pain every 28 days.
The person you should have in your life is the one who will be with you when you feel most fragile and also when you feel like a hero or heroine; She is the one who will not stop listening to you, she is the one who will take the cell phone away from her so she can be with you, looking into your eyes, listening to what hurt you; She is the one who works every day to be a better person for herself and for you without leaving her essence.
If I work to be better for my partner… Am I leaving my essence?
There is a very thin line that we often cross thinking that the change we make is for our partner, leaving aside the importance of working on being a better version of yourself enjoying being better every day and not because one should change seeking acceptance.
I will teach you this very thin line that you cannot cross, because you will reach extremes that are not healthy. I will teach you in therapy, where you will discover many things about yourself that will help you to truly love, discovering that in order to give you must first be full and This way you can say without hurting: I love myself, I love you.
