I Need To Always Have A Worry

I need to always have a worry

It is no mystery that life is full of challenges, situations that can make us face emotional ups and downs and that, in addition to the need to solve problems in what surrounds us, we add the need to know how to manage our emotions so as not to fall into a dynamic of self-sabotage.

Unfortunately, the latter is what often happens to people who always feel the need to prepare for the worst, even when there are no objective indications that something bad is going to happen. “I always need to have something to worry about.”: This is a phrase that is heard a lot in psychotherapy consultations, and that helps to understand the mechanisms of fear and anxiety. Let’s see what this phenomenon consists of and how to deal with it.

What are concerns?

The concerns are thought patterns in which the person’s attention is directed toward a significant problem, something that affects us. It is part of the adaptation strategies that allow us to manage abstract thoughts to anticipate problems and solve them, even creating complex plans that include complicated and highly coordinated actions.

A worry is a thought that arises in the mind automatically, generating a feeling of discomfort in the subject who feels it. In this way, we see how its appearance does not depend on the will of the individual, thus being difficult to control. They can be considered normal or common responses to certain situations that can activate them, helping to keep us alert and focused on the problem, as long as their presence does not impact the subject’s functionality.

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And worries only make our attention stay focused on those needs to be covered or problems to be managed; By themselves they do not provide us with a solution. And sometimes we experience worries as just that, a trap for our attention, an obstacle that prevents us from progressing.

Thus, worries can be functional, helping to be alert to events that may occur and that can put us in an unpleasant situation, but they can also be pathological, impacting the subject’s functionality and generating discomfort. We believe that the concerns They are pathological when they are repeated too much and when the problem they present to us is very unlikely (the chances of this happening are very low).

Anticipatory anxiety

Behind the tendency to always search to worry, there is usually anticipatory anxiety. In cases like this, the person already experiences a state of psychological agitation, which takes shape through somewhat arbitrary thoughts: The discomfort is expressed by associating the ideas available in the person’s mind with each other. That is why the feeling arises that even when what worried the person is refuted by reality, another worry quickly appears and automatically takes over.

Anticipatory anxiety

Anticipatory anxiety consists of the presence of worries, negative thoughts about future events that are self-reinforcing. That is, the person develops anxiety at the idea of ​​being in an anxiety-inducing situation, which makes this experience increasingly consolidated. It is common for individuals who present this type of anxiety to show discomfort in the face of uncertainty, ruminate on negative thoughts and use anxiety as an “excuse” not to take action.

Some of the experiences linked to anticipatory anxiety are:

Although anticipatory anxiety is not a diagnostic category, it does show up in different disorders, especially those linked to anxiety. For this reason, and with the intention of improving the subject’s life, techniques are used in psychotherapy to mitigate it.

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In this way, individuals with this type of anxiety cannot help but think that something bad will happen, that is, they cannot stop worrying about future events. They appear like this pathological concerns that impact the subject, who cannot control them and feels the continuous need to worry. Therefore, to overcome this discomfort, we must break the vicious cycle of anticipatory anxiety in its most dysfunctional form.

How to deal with anticipatory anxiety

Anticipatory anxiety, although it is not considered a disorder in itself, is annoying and produces discomfort in the subject who suffers from it. For this reason, there are different techniques to try to control it or reduce the impact it generates. As with any other mental disorder, if we find ourselves overwhelmed by the situation and it overwhelms us, the best option is to go to a professional to help us face the problem and improve our quality of life.

Below we will mention some strategies that may be useful to reduce the discomfort caused by anticipatory anxiety.

1. Relaxation

Relaxation techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, can help both to reduce tension and physical discomfort, as well as to reduce or control worries. If the subject appears relaxed, he will be able to reduce anxiety, as well as the continuous and repeated thought of the possibility of negative events occurring.

2. Check the concern

One of the most effective strategies is to try to refute the concerns. As we said at the beginning, in most cases pathological concerns are linked to a low probability of appearance. For this reason, if we seek information about how likely it is that our concern will come true, it will be a direct way to confront negative thinking and reduce the discomfort it produces.

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3. Mindfulness

Mindfulness or full awareness also achieves good results. The technique consists of focusing attention on the present, living in the here and now, without judging the thoughts that arise in us. We thus see how these strategies can help reduce attention to events or possible events in the future and focus on the present.

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4. Face uncertainty

Another notable characteristic of subjects with pathological or anticipatory concerns is the discomfort caused by uncertainty and not being able to know what will happen. The best way to reduce the fear of this lack of knowledge of the future is face it, little by little, and resist the discomfort. We will try to be more flexible, act without having everything planned, starting with less important issues to progressively accept not being able to know everything that will happen, tolerating uncertainty.

5. Distract yourself with other stimulating activities

To reduce negative thoughts or worries We should not try to block their appearance, since in this way we will only increase the influence of concerns. It is much more effective to try to distract and change the focus of our attention; That is, if we stay focused on a task, activity, any stimulus other than our worries, it is much easier for them to decrease.