If You Want Two People, Keep The Second: What’s True?

The idea that if you love two people you should stay with the second is based on the notion that if a second person has managed to capture your attention and affection while you are already in a relationship, then perhaps you were not truly in love with the first. person.

In relationship psychology, it is recognized that it is possible to be attracted to and have feelings for two people at the same time. This can be confusing and complicated for the person involved as they face the dilemma of deciding what to do. Attraction to two people can be intense, and is often accompanied by feelings of confusion and guilt, especially if one is in a committed relationship.

It is important to keep in mind that these situations may be the result of different emotional or physical needs that are met by each of the people involved. For example, one person may offer stability and security, while the other could represent passion and novelty. From a biological point of view, it is possible for different types of love and attraction to more than one person to coexist simultaneously. For example, you can love one person for the security and commitment they offer, while you are in love with another for the excitement and novelty they bring to life.

However, deciding between two people should not be taken lightly. It is essential to reflect on what you really want in a relationship and what each of these people brings to your life. It is also crucial to be honest with all parties involved and consider the impact of your decisions on your emotional well-being and that of others.

While the phrase “if you love two people, keep the second” may have anecdotal and reflective value, the reality is more complex and deserves careful consideration of the feelings, needs and consequences involved.

The statement that if you love two people you should stay with the second is neither a universal rule nor an absolute truth in romantic relationships. In fact, this idea oversimplifies the complexity of emotions and interpersonal relationships.

First, it is important to recognize that it is possible to have feelings for two people at the same time. Human attraction is multifaceted and can be influenced by a variety of factors, including novelty, compatibility, emotional security, and passion. However, these feelings do not necessarily indicate the quality or depth of love in a relationship.

The idea of ​​staying with the second person suggests that the emergence of a new attraction implies that the love for the first person was not genuine or complete. However, this notion rules out the possibility that human beings can experience love or attraction in complex and not always exclusive ways. The emergence of new feelings can reflect a variety of psychological dynamics, including dissatisfaction in the current relationship, fear of commitment, novelty seeking, or even the exploration of different aspects of one’s desire and personality.

When deciding between two people you love, it is essential to consider a number of factors, including personal values, emotional needs, commitment to existing relationships, and the possible consequences of any actions taken. Honesty with oneself and with the people involved is crucial. It is also important to remember that each relationship is unique and what works for one person may not be right for another.

Choosing between two people you love can be a complicated process. Here are some essential tips to help you make an informed decision:

• Get to know them better: Invest time in getting to know each person well, to have as much information as possible before making a decision. This will help you understand what attracts you to each one and how they fit into your life.
• Analyze your feelings: Reflect on what attracts you to each person. Consider similarity, proximity, reciprocity, physical attraction, and status. Attraction is a very personal experience and can vary greatly from one person to another.
• Observe the different stages: Keep in mind that you may be in different stages of love with each person. This can influence your feelings and the way you perceive each relationship.
• Evaluate both separately: Make a list of the positive and negative aspects of each person. Assign a value to each aspect based on its importance to you in a relationship, and then think about it all to see which one weighs the most in your decision​​.
• Listen to your heart: Consider how each person makes you feel and reflect on questions such as whether you can be yourself with them, if you feel comfortable, if they give you peace, and if you feel valued and respected​​.
• Think about his feelings towards you: It is important to analyze what other people feel about you and whether their feelings and expectations align with what you are looking for in a relationship.
• Ask for advice: Talking to close friends or people you trust can give you a different and valuable perspective. Listen carefully to what they tell you, but remember that the final decision is yours.
• Set a deadline: Avoid prolonging the decision for too long, as this can generate more stress and discomfort for both you and the people involved.
• Trust your instinct: Consider your intuitions and internal sensations about each relationship. Sometimes instinct can be a valuable guide in complex decisions.
• Make a decision and be honest: Once you have made a decision, it is crucial to be honest with both people. Explain your feelings and the reasons behind your decision in a respectful and empathetic way​​.
• Consider taking some time alone: A final but no less important recommendation in the process of choosing between two people you love is to consider taking some time alone. This pause can offer you a space to reflect without outside influences, allowing you to analyze your true feelings and priorities.

Being alone not only helps you better understand your emotions, but it also gives you the opportunity to consider what you really want in a relationship and in life. This period of introspection can be key to making an informed and authentic decision about who you want to be with.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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