Throughout our lives, at some point we begin to understand that no matter what we do, we will always have experiences outside of our control. Moments in which despite having planned a day or an event under the feeling of control that we may feel, circumstances arrive with the power to transform everything and turn it into complete chaos.
How many times have we felt at the mercy of randomness? Sometimes we may feel that it is better to do nothing so as not to upset things. Now I ask you: Have you had thoughts like: “what if I hadn’t said this or that”, “what if I hadn’t gone” or “what if I’d better keep quiet”? The answer will probably be a resounding yes; and it is normal, because our mind also likes to think about the different possibilities, the different “maps” to analyze which would be the best path to take. The problem lies in what happens if it is no longer just an analysis, but self-sabotage. How do I stop my mind from playing those “bad tricks” on me?
Until now we can identify with those thoughts, but… What happens when those thoughts are not only doubtful but hostile towards ourselves?
We are in a work meeting and we present an opinion on any topic and we immediately tell ourselves how bad that sounded. We receive a promotion and we feel that we do not deserve it, that we do not have the capabilities to face this new challenge. Or we are about to give our opinion and we tell ourselves how “brutal” we are and that we are not worth enough, that there are more and better people for the position.
To those thoughts about how others exaggerate our abilities, the fear of being exposed as a fraud the constant tendency to downplay our achievements, doubt our abilities and blame luck and external factors for success or goals achieved, is what we call imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is so common that we know it At least 70% of people will suffer from it at some point in their lives especially when you have a change in your environment or a promotion at your job and we try at all costs to show ourselves that we can handle it, but it ends up being an ineffective attempt.
Thus, a large part of the population has experienced this time of thoughts or sensations at least once in their lives, but it generates great curiosity. in the case of women , since in them the thoughts are even greater. And let’s keep in mind that in cases of successful business women they are a minority.
What do we know about imposter syndrome in women?
Now we have more questions: Why might women feel more inclined to doubt their success? From a superficial point of view we can say that they are issues related to personal insecurities, but if we analyze a broader context it becomes evident that the social pressure factor is decisive in which a person has imposter syndrome. And for women it multiplies by adding the impact of racism, xenophobia, classism and other prejudices that generate emotional conflicts and mental health in general.
Now let’s look at everything they have been teaching us lately about self love and the trust. We must all have both elements, because if not, we will fail. If we don’t trust ourselves, who will? If you don’t love yourself you can’t have relationships in which you are valued, and thus an experience as human as insecurity is pathologized, especially for women.
How many commercials, conferences or advertising pieces are aimed at reinforcing confidence and self-esteem in women? How many times are they focused on self-confidence in men?
On the other hand, the experience of professional growth is also different For example: How many of the women you know have had their decisions, leadership style and ability to handle pressure, or sensitivity to issues questioned? How many women feel that every action aimed at knowing and having more experience takes them further away from feeling that they have the trust of others?
At psychologist.co, evidence-based interventions have shown us the power of language What will it mean for a person to say that he has a syndrome? It will imply that there is something that is not right; However, something as normal as feeling insecure in the professional area is labeled as a syndrome. Do you notice how impostor syndrome is a concept that loses meaning when seeing this context which is also hostile and unkind to women’s daily attempts to stop being minimized or categorized into stereotypes?
Now, it is difficult for women in general to take charge of the consequences of culture; Imagine what happens for those who are part of a minority, where through hegemonic discourse in soap operas, radio, and news, the idea of not belonging to certain roles or positions at a professional level predominates.
a single story
When an opportunity is presented that is new to this person even though they were told that it would never happen, the pressure can be greater and generate this feeling of insecurity. This is what Chimamanda Adichie calls “the danger of a single story” It turns out that being a Nigerian writer, she only read English literature.
In those stories, the characters were blue-eyed, talked about the weather and drank ginger beer, so in the stories she created as a child her characters were based on these same characteristics because it was the only vision she had about the world. world, without realizing that in their reality there were characters with dark eyes, who did not talk about the weather because it was not necessary or about ginger beer because it is not what they drank on a daily basis; She then came to the United States and her roommate was surprised that she, a person from Nigeria, knew how to use the stove and listened to Rihanna, because it was the only story she was told about Nigeria. Notice how we have been told a single story.
Meanwhile, we are rewriting that history, creating other realities where having notable achievements and professional growth is possible, regardless of economic position, gender and race. However, this implies continuing to live with a culture that still maintains these limitations.
Tips to consider
We know that we will not change the world overnight, which is why we bring some recommendations on how we can live with these consequences of culture and create friendlier environments with the growth of minorities and women
Keep in mind that there are people who have high self-confidence; However, their abilities are not the same as people who show insecurity, note that it is the way we have been taught about success and that it is not always the only way to approach it. On the other hand, remember that your fears are part of our culture and context, so being self-compassionate will help. For this, when you feel that you are judging yourself, try to talk to yourself as you would with a close friend
Usually, when we doubt ourselves, it tends to be based on just one thought, so remember that that thought does not define you and is not part of your story. To manage it you can do it mentally, like “I’m thinking that…” or “my mind tells me that…” This exercise will help you give context to those thoughts.
If you are in a new position and have a team in charge, normalizes human emotions It is important to generate an organizational culture where prejudices are recognized, an inclusive environment and where doubts can be resolved in a healthy way; You must refrain from using value judgments, starting with “you have imposter syndrome”; instead validate thoughts and identify them as ideas.
