Instrumental Empathy: What It Is, How To Detect It, And How To React To It
We tend to think that all people who show empathy use this capacity to help others and not to take advantage of them, but in subjects with instrumental empathy we see the opposite.
People with instrumental empathy are able to recognize how others feel but fail to put themselves in their place and adopt their perspective, so they will use the information they acquire about others to manipulate them and use them for their own benefit.
They are subjects who do not show regret for their behavior and who, therefore, do not perceive that they are acting wrongly, it will not be common for them to go to therapy of their own free will. Currently, techniques to intervene in these patients continue to be tested, because to date there is no effective treatment.
In this article we will see what instrumental empathy is how it is defined, what its main characteristics are, which subjects show it and how to work with these individuals.
It may be difficult to understand what the definition of instrumental empathy is, since when we look at the term we see that it is composed of empathy that is defined as a positive capacity, thus making us think that it is a good performance, but the second concept, instrumental , produces a negative effect on this empathy.
The term “instrumental” refers to the possibility of using something or someone for one’s own benefit, with a purpose. For its part, empathy is defined as the ability to understand and put oneself in another’s shoes, which is very important for us to act altruistically with the aim of helping others.
But in the case of instrumental empathy, what happens when you put the two terms together is that the positive intention that is normally related to empathy is affected by instrumentality Thus, a subject with this capacity will be able to understand how the other person feels, but not with the purpose of helping them, their objective will be to take advantage of this information they have about the other person to benefit themselves and to take advantage of the situation.
There are different types of empathy, two of them being essential to be able to talk about true empathy. Cognitive empathy, which refers to the ability to understand the state of the other person, and emotional empathy, which would be more linked to the ability to feel ourselves what the other person feels, that is, it would consist of being able to put oneself in the person’s place. other. The latter, the emotional one, is what people with instrumental empathy lack.
So we see how to have The ability to understand how the other feels does not ensure that we will act appropriately and, on the contrary, it can give us the possibility of doing a lot of harm since we take advantage of the other person’s feelings to use them or know how to harm them.
How to detect it? Characteristics of instrumental empathy
Now that we know better how instrumental empathy is defined, it may be easier to deduce what types of subjects will use it. It is surprising to see how not all empathetic people have good intentions, nor the goal of helping others. How behavior that seems done without malice can turn against you, taking advantage of you.
This type of empathy is typical of individuals who They act charmingly before us but without the purpose of helping us ; This is how we observe it in subjects with some type of psychological disorder, of whom we will talk later, although we can also find this type of behavior in subjects without a diagnosis but with selfish, interested and manipulative traits.
Within the group of people with this characteristic we observe that they share two distinctive traits: they show cognitive empathy, that is, they are able to identify how other people feel by assessing how they act, their facial and body expression, their tone of voice, their gaze… but they really cannot put themselves in the place of the other, to feel how the other feels and they present emotions in an unstable way. By this we mean that there are subjects, as in the case of psychopaths, where less emotional activity is observed and only they feel at specific moments and when they do it They use this feeling to manipulate
Psychopathologies with which instrumental empathy has been linked
As we already know, this type of empathy is mainly exercised by manipulative subjects, individuals who use the other person to achieve their own ends. This characteristic of manipulation is commonly observed in subjects with personality disorders, specifically the narcissistic type and the antisocial type
What are these individuals like? In reference to subjects with antisocial traits, they show contempt and violation of the rights of others and social norms, they are dishonest, they lie to obtain their own pleasure, they are impulsive, cruel, manipulative, aggressive, and unconcerned about the health of others. , irresponsible and without a sense of guilt for anything they do.
For its part, Individuals with narcissistic traits present a feeling of grandiosity, they need the constant admiration of others they believe they are special and therefore believe that they can only deal with people who are also special, they are arrogant, they can be manipulative, false and cruel to others.
Likewise, these two personalities have the characteristics and tools to get you to trust them and then manipulate you and use you for their benefit. To achieve their goal, they will show themselves as empathetic people, who understand how you feel and want to help you, but that will never really be their intention, they only want to gain your trust to benefit themselves.
Other subjects that have also been assessed as being able to present this type of empathy are the psychopaths These are characterized by presenting an external charm; They are unstable, liars and false; lack of feeling of regret or shame; antisocial behavior, non-compliance with rules and violation of rights, and are self-centered. They present negative affectation of emotional relationships; insensitivity to the problems of others and difficulty in continuing with a life plan.
Within the group of individuals with psychopathic characteristics we find subjects whose main trait is emotional detachment Showing above all narcissistic behavior and other subjects who stand out for acting in a deviant way from those socially established, this type of psychopaths more closely resembles the traits of antisocials.
What to do with subjects with instrumental empathy?
First of all, it will be important identify them and realize that they show this type of empathy For this purpose, it will be convenient for us to be alert since it may seem difficult to recognize this type of subject at first glance. When we interact more with them, we begin to observe signs, modes of behavior that make us think that their empathy is not true, for example we see that Although they tell us that it does affect them how we are, their behavior does not reaffirm this concern or they prefer that we are bad so they can manipulate us, instead of when we are happy.
They are subjects who, as we have seen, do not feel bad about their bad behavior, have no remorse and therefore will rarely ask for professional help to deal with their problems since they do not perceive it as such. Likewise, there is no therapy that has been proven effective for this type of patient with psychopathy or personality disorder. At the moment Studies continue to be carried out to try to ensure that their empathy is truly genuine, this process being very difficult and even more so if the patient does not collaborate
If they manage to get to therapy, different strategies have been proposed to deal with them: with patients with antisocial personality disorder it is recommended to set the objectives they want to achieve and the advantages and disadvantages they entail, establish clear limits but without being punitive, we will try, As therapists, be seen as someone pleasant and intelligent, not as a figure of punishment, we can also use humor when necessary and show confidence in ourselves, and when the treatment is already in an advanced phase and the relationship is well established, that is when we will introduce the work of genuine empathy, both cognitive and emotional.
Regarding individuals with narcissistic personality disorder We will try not to enter into a power struggle, not compete, act firmly but respectfully and also work on empathy ; To this end, we will train alternative ways of treating the other person, trying to activate emotional schemes through, for example, the role reversal technique, which consists of the patient acting as if he were the other individual, putting himself in the other person’s place, and helping differentiate thought, emotion and behavior, so that you learn to identify each factor.
Thus, as we have pointed out, research continues to treat these subjects, we know that their improvement process is not easy and in many cases they do not even come to therapy or at least of their own volition, it is difficult for them to recognize their pathology or that they are doing something wrong. , since their actions are in line with what they think, it is for this reason that if we identify a subject with these characteristics, if we see that they have no intention of improving, it is recommended that we move away, keep our distance because, if not, we will end up bad us.
