It is often said that Intelligent women are those who lead independent lives And it is not easy, because there are still a series of social norms and clichés that tend to chain women around the tasks culturally attributed to them: caring for children and husbands, as well as for the elderly in the home.
Luckily, times have changed and women can choose what they want to do or who they want to share their life with… and they can even decide to stay single. We will talk about this in today’s article.
The imposition of marriage: condemned to start a family?
We must start from a summary reflection: Every woman should be free to choose her own destiny This includes the possibility of falling in love, of starting a family, of never falling in love or of going from flower to flower. There is nothing wrong with any of these options (or any other).
It happens that certain stereotypes still prevail that place women in a subordinate role in our society, especially with regard to how they should lead their love and sexual lives. Cultural patterns affect us all, and women in particular. Hence, many of the recurring sayings and phrases that aim to tell women how to act in relation to their love life and motherhood: “look, you’re 35 years old and you haven’t gotten married yet,” “marry Pepito who has a company.” and it’s a good match” “in the end you’ll lose it”… Phrases with a deep meaning and that, even unconsciously, influence the way they act or stop acting.
Another oft-repeated saying is that “ignorance brings happiness.” Certainly, It can be difficult for an intelligent woman with concerns beyond the typical to find a man with whom she can express herself freely and feel intellectually stimulated. This, not to mention sapiosexuality.
The social pressure of her close circle can be quite annoying for the girl who, being intelligent, cannot connect with another person (whether of the same sex or not, because of course you can also be homosexual and bisexual in this life), unlike their friendships, which seem to have a kind of magnet for romantic relationships. While the latter can reproduce the cultural slogan with less reluctance, the former usually remain firm in their position.
A study confirms it: single women tend to be more intelligent
So why do smarter women tend to stay single? Is there any objective reason why heterosexual men or homosexual women do not make it a priority to maintain an emotional relationship with an intelligent woman? Is there some kind of aversion, conscious or unconscious, towards brilliant women?
There may be a certain pattern in which the most intelligent women are also the most demanding and, therefore, tend to remain single. It’s just a hypothesis, but it could make sense, especially after the research titled “Why do intelligent men choose less intelligent women?”which has been published in Daily Mail and Elite Daily, among others.
In this study, the academic John Carney explains that less intelligent women tend to have much more free time because they are not able to obtain sufficient economic benefits if they study more or work more hours than usual, which is why they tend to pair up with more intelligent men who, statistically, are the ones who They tend to have better jobs and salaries, which helps them advance economically and enjoy a higher standard of living. A conclusion, that of John Carney, which, of course, has unleashed a strong controversy.
The other side of the coin: men look for women… not so intelligent
It seems, however, that Men’s motivations when it comes to finding a partner also leave a little to be desired from a moral prism According to Carney, they are looking for a woman who prioritizes her romantic relationship and family project over any other aspect of life, and of course there are women, usually the ‘not so intelligent’ ones, who are willing to assume this premise.
The dangers and problems of being an intelligent woman
And, as is evident, Being an intelligent woman has great disadvantages Probably, if any woman had to choose between being intelligent or not, she would have a major dilemma before her. Because, although a priori everyone would choose to be intelligent, the reality is that having a privileged mind entails numerous problems when facing real life.
It is often said, and I think it is a cliché that is not at all wrong, that ‘dumb’ women (if I may use the expression) are not taken seriously by men. But in fact, Intelligent women are taken seriously by male colleagues, perhaps too seriously to the point that they perceive them as rivals and not so much as potential partners.
Thus, women in any part of the planet live in constant tension: if they are less intellectually attractive, they are frequently perceived as little more than sexual objects and housewives, and if they are intelligent women, they are perceived as an undesirable threat, as a competitor for that management position in the company.
Going deeper into the study
Carney’s study It was carried out on a total of 121 people of British nationality The results have given a lot to talk about: when asked about heterosexual couple relationships in which the woman had clearly superior intelligence, the respondents perceived these as problematic and less desirable.
When the question was asked in reverse (with the man being the most intelligent in the relationship), the respondents did not report any hint of criticism or censure towards them, but quite the opposite: they perceived them as more desirable.
Gender stereotypes that will take time to destroy
We are facing further proof of the different stereotypes that, in the 21st century, continue to explain why women suffer discrimination in some areas of life. These gender prejudices also take their toll on women with great intellectual capacity, not only in the workplace with phenomena such as the glass ceiling but also in social and romantic relationships, where it seems that being intelligent is perceived as something, to the practical, undesirable.
Is it essential to have a partner to be happy?
We live in a society that requires us to have an orderly life: stable employment, a formal partner and, at a certain age, children and starting a family and a home. It is an approach that we must question For some people, this life model may be completely in line with their expectations and dreams, and this is fully respectable. But our generation still continues to accept some traditions and cultural impositions without further ado.
Some women, caught in this moral context, They incessantly look for men who appreciate them and with whom they can share life In Spanish faculties, women are already the majority. This means, among other things, that in the future it is quite likely that there will be more women who will choose to have a partner with a lower academic qualification than them. We are facing a new confusing social reality: while more women can develop powerful academic and work careers, men are not yet willing to give up their position of intellectual hegemony within the couple, a fact that is causing that many ‘intelligent’ women remain single.
