Is It Good To Get Revenge On Someone?

The revenge constitutes a series of attitudes and behaviors carried out by a person or group with the intent to harm another person or group perceived to be responsible for the discomfort r experienced by a third person or, in many cases, oneself.

The vengeful person has held someone responsible for some situation and, regardless of the certainty of this, has decided to harm this person for the consequences of their actions. This vengeful attitude arises in people who easily act through resentment and the accumulation of it leads them to act in this way or they are people who have been very damaged (directly or indirectly) with the consequences generated by that situation.

To consider whether revenge is useful or not, we are going to consider several premises:

• Human beings are good by nature and, when they act through malicious behavior, it is because they are hurt and, therefore, they act in a malicious manner. irrational and irresponsible.
• Some psychological or spiritual disciplines claim that the consequences of your behaviors return oneself like a boomerang.
• While man is good by nature, causing harm to others is against our nature and, therefore, ends up harming ourselves as well.
• If we adopt an empathetic attitude, we will be able to perceive the consequences of our vengeful behavior, which It will cause great pain in one or more people. In reality, the same pain that we have experienced.
• Taking revenge can cause chain effect of propagation of a vengeful or hurtful attitude: we take revenge on those who have hurt us and they can take revenge on us or, simply, unload their pain and discomfort on innocent third parties.

There are two irrational false beliefs regarding revenge:

1. It serves to make the person responsible for the pain aware of their actions.. Although this may occur, it is a harmful method to promote this awareness
2. Internally, the vengeful individual feels that, in this way, the wound (his own or that of loved ones) will be healed, but this is not true, since revenge is a cruel act which in no way allows true inner consolation.

If we consider these premises, it is evidently not useful to take revenge. In reality, revenge multiplies our pain instead of lessening it. It multiplies it in other people and, of course, also in ourselves. Vengeful attitudes will not allow us to live in peace.

From what has been discussed so far, we can foresee that the consequences of revenge are, rather, negative and undesirable. In reality, there is no positive consequence resulting from this action. Not even the apparent calm that so-called “sweet revenge” brings is recommended, since it bases personal well-being on the discomfort of others, confusing the concept of revenge with that of justice. Some of the negative consequences of acting in a vindictive manner are:

• We hurt to one or more person intentionally.
• We can start a chain of negative events aggressive and destructive: it is possible that the person who is the victim of our revenge unloads his discomfort again on another situation or person, propagating and increasing negative situations and discomfort.
• The personal satisfaction that “sweet revenge” brings it’s superficial and does not provide real peace.
• In cases where the initial victim is not ourselves, it is possible that this revenge brings more pain than well-being to that person.
• We can really feel afflicted after having issued the vengeful behavior.
• This behavior, in fact, does not restore the original situation nor does it provide any alternative solution to the problem caused.

Learning to forgive is a great act that presupposes great humility, compassion and benevolence towards the aggressor. It is a difficult action that does not occur immediately but requires a prior cognitive and affective elaboration process. This process occurs through the transition between the following phases:

• Analyze and recognize the damage suffered, accepting and experiencing our pain.
• Assess the real advantages of forgiveness over other forms of response to pain, including revenge: real consolation, inner peace, helping the aggressor to become immediately aware of his mistake, etc.
• Forgive the person who caused the pain, either directly or through a visualization that presents the same positive effects on the victim and the aggressor.

The word “revenge”, as such, sounds very strong and we usually associate it with malicious, serious and strong acts that a person emits on another person who has caused a grievance. However, if we look more closely, many of our seemingly “harmless” daily acts become vindictive and, therefore, hurtful and generate all the negative consequences that we have previously mentioned: not looking in the face; not speak; speak disparagingly; provoke a conflictive situation by proposing a sensitive topic for the person who has offended us; leave the place where this person is; etc They are vengeful acts based on the resentment felt in the face of the pain suffered.

Our society feeds distrust, revenge, resentment, etc. in different ways. through movies, TV shows, etc. Forgiveness, for this very reason, is a great feat. It means transcending all these messages received daily and, protected by great inner strength, choosing the response of forgiveness. The consequences of acting in this way are totally fruitful for the person themselves, for the aggressor and for their surroundings as an example of behavior that, unlike the destruction generated by revenge, creates and builds new paths. In this article we give 18 tips to learn to forgive.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Is it good to get revenge on someone? we recommend that you enter our Personal Growth and Self-Help category.