For many years, a discourse has been spreading according to which being happy is equivalent to “reaching” certain stages of life that consist of accumulating material and social goods.
On the one hand, earn enough money to make purchases such as a house to own, a car, certain types of high-quality clothing and accessories that supposedly reflect the value of the person, etc. On the other hand, the creation of a family based on the traditional family model, with children and even, if possible, a pet.
That is The idea has been defended that happiness means achieving a series of requirements linked to the concept of the “ideal citizen.” emerged in welfare societies, which are based on consumerism and certain expectations associated with romantic love in heterosexual people.
This is already problematic in itself because it implies that a person cannot be happy if they do not meet these requirements, something that is not difficult to see that does not correspond to reality: it is not at all strange to see people who have access to happiness despite not having a partner or children, or living rented.
Now… What happens when a person is not only far from that ideal of happiness, but also falls into a stage of crisis that brings them closer to situations that we actively associate with unhappiness? Can a person continue to be happy even though there is a complicated situation around them? Let’s see it below.
Is it possible to be happy in the face of adversity?
If something characterizes the human being, it is his ability to modify your behaviors and your way of thinking and managing your emotions in order to adapt to the environment This extraordinary psychological flexibility is what has allowed us, among other things, to be one of the very few species of large land mammals capable of living on all continents and in a wide variety of ecosystems, for example.
Now, as animals capable of learning all kinds of things, this ability is not only reflected in the way we take advantage of the resources available around us to satisfy our biological needs necessary for short-term survival. Furthermore, we are capable of learning to adjust our emotions to situations that, from the point of view of Western societies, may initially seem impossible to overcome.
For example, it is known that people who suffer injuries or illnesses that take away the ability to use one of their senses (for example, disorders that produce acquired blindness) or who suffer loss of limbs, over time, are capable of achieving levels of well-being and happiness comparable to those before experiencing that health problem
And the same thing happens in many cases in which the problem is not in the body itself, but in the context of the person’s life: be it the family context, the city in which one lives, the country of residence, etc.
The key concept to understand why we are able to adapt to these types of situations not only in a practical or instrumental sense, but also emotionally and in terms of our ability to experience well-being and even happiness, is what is known in Psychology as resilience. .
What do we understand by resilience?
Resilience is ours ability to psychologically overcome crisis situations that is, the ability we have when not only to prevent discomfort from paralyzing us and preventing us from seeking solutions to a problem, but also to adapt to certain shortcomings and cope with a certain level of discomfort in a stoic way, without focusing on everything that generates discomfort and does not depend on us, and focusing on what we can change.
Thus, having a good level of resilience involves readjusting our expectations, accepting a certain level of discomfort or emotional pain and actively engaging in actions aimed at improving our situation (and/or that of the people around us), so this project be, in turn, something capable of stimulating us and making us feel motivated and excited about the progress we can make in that regard.
Thus, Resilience is also known more informally as “the psychological immune system.” : after a period of imbalance, it helps us face adversity and cope with very complicated situations.
The ability to be a happy person is not lost
Resilience is not disconnected from our ability to be happy In fact, adopting that active role in achieving goals is a source of well-being in itself, and even a means through which we can obtain happiness. Paradoxically, it may happen that a person feels happier shortly after entering a crisis stage than when he perceived that all of his objective needs were satisfied. Why is this due?
The answer has to do with the following: happiness is not and cannot be the product of an accumulation of goods or social status that is easy to determine. If this were the case, there would be an instruction manual for achieving happiness, which would be similar to a shopping list.
Happiness is a psychological state that It arises when we engage in projects that have important meaning for us and that go beyond the avoidance of pain or even access to experiences that offer us comfort. And that is why when we put our “resilient mode” into action we are able to be happy.
Of course, this does not mean that it is useless to strive to achieve societies that guarantee the satisfaction of basic needs for the entire population, or that poverty should not be fought. Individual psychological processes are one thing, and social transformations that can help people gain control and decision-making capacity over their lives are another thing. However, we must not forget that happiness is a construction process in which there is no pre-established departure and arrival box, and for this reason it challenges each and every one of us.
