Is Living In The Past Affecting Your Relationship?
Transfer the pain of the past to the experience of living a relationship It’s like living with an intruder inside the closet.
Couples come to consultation with feelings of hopelessness when communication is chaos, conflicts appear due to the presence of shouting, fights, threats, blackmail and even silences. Some of the common phrases are:
And it seems like we spend time justifying ourselves for the lifestyle we had before meeting this new person. So a part of us “supposes” to put up with our past. However, we stop seeing how to improve in favor of our own life and the life of that person who wants to be by our side
It is clear that in the conquest we show our sweet, happy, harmonious and soft side. But In coexistence, we are who we are, there are no more disguises And the intruder from the past appears, that emotional calculation that has not been eliminated with a scaling in therapy and ends up affecting the relationship. For example:
It’s funny, right? Now what?
Guidelines to take into account
As a therapist, I advise you not to go from relationship to relationship looking to be put up with Every time you establish a new relationship and it ends, you need to review the intruder from the past that lives in you to let go of it, because it dominates your actions, your emotions and makes you be a person that sometimes not even you can stand.
To have a relationship, it is essential to put on the table the things that are functional for both of you and work to achieve it, despite how costly it is to destroy the detective, the beast, the bug or the tarzan.
And the news is that you can’t always do it alone you are ashamed to say that you go to therapy, and you don’t see that it is more painful to think things like:
If you see it, you end up believing that you cannot be loved or that it is better not to love.
Leave the bear, the sorrow, and get rid of that mental and emotional child phenomenon that is affecting your life. Please record this to yourself: “No one was born into this life to coddle your intruder from the past.” But surely, you are able to finish it
If a past hurts, why do we live in the present mending the wound and reach a future castrating ourselves with love?
We choose a partner according to the self-esteem we have! What do you deduce then from your self-esteem?
And we achieve an adequate relationship when we are willing to build on what we can do and not on the things of the past that we justify not moving forward.
Being in consultation is not a trend or a ticket, it is a wise step towards self-healing If you are still alive, why not live? If you have the right to live, why keep looking back?
