Jealousy Between Siblings: How To Detect It And What Can We Do?
Jealousy between siblings is one of the main problems in some families in which there are young children. And although childhood is a time of discovery and excitement, it is also true that it is a phase in which the relative irrationality of minors can combine with competitive spirits and the need for acceptance and attention, resulting in an explosive mixture.
The simple fact of no longer being the center of care from the moment a little brother or sister is born sometimes produces frustration that is difficult for a minor to manage. However, sometimes it is not the birth order that triggers this type of conflict between children, and the root of the problem may lie in a self-esteem damaged by other factors.
In any case, it is clear that it is necessary to recognize the symptoms of jealousy between siblings in order to intervene as soon as possible and bring peace to a relationship that should only be characterized by affection
Symptoms or signs that there is jealousy between siblings
Every family is different, so to some extent it is normal for there to be variability in the way jealousy between siblings is expressed. However, there are certain behavioral dynamics that are very frequent when these intra-family conflicts appear They are the following.
Where there is jealousy between brothers, there is mockery, since these are a way to disguise an attack passing it off as an act of expressing humor.
2. Direct attacks
These types of attacks, which consist of actions aimed at causing pain to others, are more typical of children than adolescents, although can occur in both age groups Among boys they are more frequent, and when jealousy is very intense, there does not even need to be an excuse to attack the other.
3. Indirect aggression: attempts to get your friends to stay away
Indirect aggression is one in which an attempt is made to move the social circles that support a person away from them, leaving her in a situation of relative isolation This is very typical of siblings who are jealous of each other, especially in the case of girls and adolescents, while boys are more prone to direct attacks.
4. Attempts to get parents’ attention
This symptom appears more clearly in children who have not yet gone through puberty, while In adolescents this usually occurs less frequently and in a more subtle way given that at this stage young people have a model of the ideal Self that is relatively self-sufficient and does not need the opinions of their parents.
For example, what in childhood may consist of constantly wanting to show drawings and crafts made by the child, in adolescence becomes singing in the dining room where everyone is pretending that they are just practicing, or starting to debate about topics. that neither interest them nor those who know a minimum of information.
However, this sign is less obvious than the previous ones, and has to be analyzed in its context to find out if it really appears due to jealousy.
Tips to prevent or solve the problem
Among the steps to follow to combat jealousy between siblings, the following stand out.
1. Dedicate time
Much of jealousy appears due to the fear of being forgotten, left aside by the family. Therefore, it is important to clearly send the message that the existence of brothers or sisters does not mean that their value decreases, and since nothing speaks as much as actions, It is best to exercise this affection through shared everyday moments
2. If a little brother or sister is going to be born, plan the transition
In cases where a baby is going to be born, it is good to prevent problems by explaining that, due to the special needs of that person who will enter the world, they will have more people waiting for them than those people who have been growing for a long time. To help you in this task, it may be helpful to use photos or videos that show what the little one to whom we addressed our explanations was like as a baby, so that he can see how he was treated.
3. Let him tell you how he feels
Not everything has to consist of giving messages unilaterally. Allow it to express itself, so that they can tell you their fears or possible reasons for discomfort Support is noticeable both by sharing good times and by being there as support during bad times.
4. Give him a role in raising the brother or sister
If the person you may develop jealousy over is younger or of a similar age, It is good to entrust him with the task of helping to raise her In this way, another meaning is given to the care that the other receives, and it becomes part of a stimulating mission in which, in addition, the little one who previously felt jealous shares roles with the adults (yes, in a way). much more limited way than these, and adapted to their physical and psychological characteristics).
