Keys To Detect The Usefulness Of Perfectionism In Our Lives
Surely many of you have had ambivalent attitudes towards this approach.
It would not be uncommon, in fact, I know that many of you, when asked the now famous question in a job interview, can you mention any of your defects? You have answered: perfectionism.
And, to begin with, This construct seems to be on the rise in our culture ; Those who reach high standards are “the stars”, who are admired and rewarded. What happens is that in many cases the long-term aversive consequences correlate with exhaustion, the feeling of continuous failure, isolation and many other problems that we will see below.
To begin this article, which is undoubtedly very summarized, I would like to clarify that we are starting from very theoretical, nomothetic (that is, very general) information, and for practical purposes, although it is necessary, it is not sufficient. For all this information to be useful to us, we must apply it on a case-by-case basis. Hang in there a little bit, we’ll talk about this at the end.
Functional Perfectionism vs Dysfunctional Perfectionism
We will agree that the desire to do things well combined with a high commitment in terms of responsibility, effort and expectations, per se is not harmful at all, even less so if mistakes are taken as learning.
However, what is dysfunctional or harmful is when this is taken to the extreme, without taking into account contingencies, despite the negative costs it may have on our lives, and where achievement functions as a scale of our worth and, of course, error. It is feared and taken almost as an unforgivable sin, which obviously goes hand in hand with avoidant behaviors.
To this last pattern of perfectionistic behavior under aversive control is often called unhealthy, dysfunctional or maladaptive perfectionism, and is a transdiagnostic factor for many important psychological problems.
The main defining characteristics of a dysfunctional perfectionistic behavior pattern are the following:
In fact, numerous authors maintain a difference related to the adaptability/disadaptability of perfectionistic behavior. Stoeber, Harris and Moon (2007), for example, distinguish from the variables: “perfectionistic goals” and “perfectionistic concerns.”
The perfectionistic (healthy) behavior pattern is governed by high goals and low worries. In the unhealthy, the level is high in both variables. Some authors also maintain that problems related to dysfunctional or unhealthy perfectionism are much more associated with self-critical evaluation than with high personal standards (Dunkley, Berg and Zuroff, 2012., cited in Amores Hernández, 2017).
About harmful criticism and its maintenance
Given the relevant role that pathological criticism plays here, it is worth considering McKay’s (1991) approach to explain its maintenance. We already know that this is through reinforcement, let’s see:
Regarding the positive reinforcement of criticism, the author mentions two fundamental lines that are the following: the need to do good and the need to feel good. On the other hand, he adds, it is the feeling of control of our feelings of pain such as guilt. , the fear of rejection and frustration, which works as a negative reinforcer (Amores Hernández, 2017). Again, on a case by case basis, We have to review whether these or other needs are the ones that would have this reinforcing function.
Rumination and excessive worry
Nolen-Hoeksema and colleagues (2008) defined rumination as “repetitive thinking about the causes, consequences, and symptoms of a person’s negative affect.”
Rumination has been associated with psychological distress, since by “ruminating” we avoid processing negative experiences and emotions. As such, rumination acts as an avoidant emotional regulation strategy that will make it difficult, or even block, to effectively solve our problems (Nolen-Hoeksema et al., cited in Senderey, 2017).
Rumination maintains distress because the focus is on what went wrong rather than what can be done to make things better. We enter a vicious circle that exacerbates anxiety, hence biased thoughts and escape, blocking or avoidance behaviors.
Worry is a problem-solving effort. However, because the problem is not actual but hypothetical or beyond our control, it becomes useless and counterproductive if it does not activate us.
Worry is a verbal linguistic attempt to prevent future feared events. It offers us questions of the type: “What would happen if…” (Harvey et al. 2009; cited in Senderey, 2017).
Some long-term consequences of dysfunctional perfectionistic behaviors
Going a little further, Shafran, Cooper, and Fairburn (2002) present some examples of the long-term consequences of the pattern of dysfunctional perfectionistic behaviors: on an emotional level, exhaustion, bad mood, depression; on a social level, isolation; on a physiological level, insomnia; at a cognitive level, alterations in attention, concentration and memory; at a behavioral level, repeated verifications of work or tasks that report a high loss of time or procrastination.
Due to this, it is not surprising to find studies that show this pattern as a vulnerability factor for even more acute and sustained problems over time such as depression, social anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder or eating disorders, having even authors who have investigated its relationship with suicide (Kiamanesh, Dieserud, Dyregrov, & Haavind, 2015., cited in Amores Hernández, 2017).
The importance of psychological flexibility
In functional or adaptive perfectionistic behavior, we are much more flexible in evaluating whether we have achieved our goals and therefore experience less stress if we do not achieve them.
On the contrary, one of the notable characteristics of the harmful one is precisely its rigidity. Some studies have shown that adaptive perfectionism is positively related to life satisfaction and negatively related to depression, hopelessness, and avoidant and anxious adult attachment styles. (Gnilka, Ashby, and Noble, 2013).
The impact on our self-esteem and self-acceptance
Weak self-esteem results from a negative global opinion of oneself that is constantly reinforced by the difficulty of achieving the desired level of aspiration, competence and ability.
The basis of change is accepting and accepting limitations is how we can overcome them. Self-acceptance is considered protective of self-esteem and is independent of achievements (Burns, 1983., cited in Senderey, 2017).
So, is perfectionism useless and harmful?
As we mentioned at the beginning, all this information is of little help if we do not consider it case by case, and it is from here that we can assess whether it is being useful to you or not.
From contextual behavioral therapies, the first thing we are going to do is what we call an idiographic functional analysis. That is, roughly speaking, we will start by asking you what you understand by perfectionism, so that we find those behaviors or series of behaviors (types of responses) in certain situations.
That is, operationalize all of this in relation to that context and your life story. For example, you could tell me: “I worry a lot about details”, “I have a terrible fear of failing”, “I constantly criticize myself”, “I tend to procrastinate”, etc. Well up to this point, as you can see, these descriptions are very general, but we are already beginning to see elements such as intensity, frequency and duration, which we take into account.
Now, it probably doesn’t happen to you in all contexts, Let’s find out in what situations or domains of your life. And from here one of the most crucial questions is whether this prevents or facilitates you from reaching your goals and making your life richer.
You see, worrying about details, being afraid of failing, procrastinating, etc., is something natural, I would even tell you that it is great if this helps you take action and prepare better for a speech, or that postponing a coffee with friends In order to prepare your thesis it can be quite useful, right?
Going further, even the high or low intensity, frequency and duration of some behaviors are quite functional in certain contexts. That is, if you work as an engineer or administrator, it is a plus. The key, then, will be to establish what it is that you want in your life, what makes it meaningful and from there assess whether those behaviors are taking you towards that path in the long term, and if not, work to find other ways of reach towards him.
