The vast majority of clients who come to see a psychologist do so because they feel bad. That is why it is logical that they are concerned about knowing if it is possible learn to feel good on a daily basis
And the truth is that yes, it can be done, but you have to know how. Because feeling bad, like so many other things in life, is a habit, a custom that we have learned and practiced without realizing it.
It may be due to something we have learned in our childhood and adolescence, in our family environment.
It may also be due to some type of event, such as losing a loved one, an accident or an illness.
And it may also be due to a particularly hard or cruel past, something that we have had to live through and that is difficult to leave behind. It is usually something that seems to accompany us throughout life
Sometimes it may be due to emotional deficiencies. Or the lack of those skills that are necessary to relate to others and to ourselves.
And often, it is simply because We do not know ourselves and we live playing a role that makes us feel empty
Luckily, over the years you learn that people are much stronger than we usually think, and that when they put their mind to it and learn how to do it, they are able to overcome obstacles that seemed insurmountable.
For years I have known people who have overcome terrible childhoods, traumatic events, painful experiences, enormous losses and emotional pain of dimensions that are difficult to understand.
And the first question they ask at the beginning is whether they will ever be able to feel good. Of course! But let’s talk about it with caution.
If what is intended is to have continuous happiness in which the person is radiant and enjoying all hours of the day, it is important to know that this does not exist. It is not easy to make people see that continued happiness is not a natural state especially because everyone understands what happiness is in their own way.
If a person tells you that they can teach you to always feel happy, they are lying to you. But another thing is learning to feel good.
To do?
Anyone who really wants to can learn to feel good most of the time, with a sense of well-being, comfort, and being comfortable in their own skin.
But to get to that it takes time, because It is neither real nor healthy to try to change in a very short time a habit that we have carried for almost our entire life
And one of the first steps is usually to clean up one’s own life: eliminate situations, relationships and memories that hurt us and prevent us from moving forward.
We also have to learn to change the reactions of tension, anger or sadness that we usually have automatically for various reasons.
That is why a relationship of trust with the psychologist is necessary: ​​because It’s scary to let go of what you know, no matter how bad it is
And it is very curious to realize that as some things are released, the inner sensations begin to change. And how the negative emotions to which we seemed condemned for life, begin to transform, little by little, at a pace that allows us to assimilate the changes.
And although it may sound strange, Many people need time to adjust to new pleasant emotions to which they were not accustomed.
Although it may sound strange, many people do not know what it is to live in a relaxed way, with joy and enthusiasm.
These new emotions are precisely the new habit that is going to be implemented. And this is where the therapist will provide all the resources and techniques needed so that this well-being becomes a natural part of your life.
The good thing is that if the process is carried out well, in the appropriate way, the change is gradual and can be very pleasant, as if it were an adventure in which new treasures are gradually discovered.
It is very common to see that people who have had a bad time and have begun to make this change; They are transforming into very wise people before our eyes, because Suffering, when understood, assimilated and overcome, becomes an excellent teacher of life
And finally, the person who has made the emotional change will come to possess a series of techniques and resources that will serve them for life, because the improvement process always continues, since in the end it is the person themselves who becomes architect of her own life.
But the best thing is that Most people who have achieved their own well-being tend to say that they now have a much greater capacity to enjoy life than most people, because they already know what it’s like to live in the dark. And we all know that the things you value and enjoy most are the ones you achieve for yourself.
The truth is that these are deeply human, beautiful and pure growth processes. Because there is nothing better than seeing how people improve their own lives and feel better and better.
