The self-esteem is one of the most important psychological variables for emotional health, well-being and it is key in our positive relationship with the environment. But, unfortunately, not everyone has adequate self-esteem.
Many people, regardless of whether or not they attend psychotherapy, suffer the effects of having low self-esteem. Fortunately, this is something that can be changed.
Studies ensure that this important aspect of personality is not something static, but can vary throughout a person’s life, and according to psychologist Silvia Congost, author of the book Automatic Self-Esteemits development depends approximately 30% on genetic factors, and the rest, that is, 70%, depends on the environment and the experiences that we have had to live.
The relationship between low self-esteem and emotional balance
In self-esteem, both what we think we know about ourselves and the way we feel about it, with that concept of “I”, go hand in hand. Therefore, low self-esteem affects us in all areas of life, and if the problem is very intense, it can lead to severe mental disorders.
Low self-esteem is a real problem that many people face.because it can negatively affect different areas of your life. In short, low self-esteem causes suffering and prevents us from achieving many of our goals or desires. Negative thinking patterns associated with low self-esteem (for example, thinking that everything you do is going to go wrong) can lead to serious mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety.
Low self-esteem is crippling, and makes it difficult to try new things or carry out different day-to-day tasksas well as starting a new hobby or looking for a job. This prevents you from living the life you want, and leads to frustration and discomfort over time.
Whoever finds themselves in this situation and wants to get out of this negative spiral, only if they do hard work on self-reflection and recognize their level of self-esteem will they be able to improve it and, therefore, increase their well-being. In some cases, the person cannot achieve this on their own, so it will be necessary to go to a specialist psychologist. Still, It is the person who wants to change who has to make the effort to achieve itsince the psychologist only provides the tools for change.
What causes low self-esteem?
The thoughts you have about yourself seem like absolute realities, but they are still just opinions.. They are based on the experiences you have had in life, and the messages that these experiences have provided so that you form an image of who you are. If you have had bad experiences, it is likely that your assessment of yourself is negative. The crucial experiences that help form these negative or positive beliefs about ourselves are very likely (although not always) to occur at an early age.
What you have seen, felt and what you have experienced during childhood and adolescence, in your family, school or the community in general have a determining effect when it comes to valuing yourself in the future.
Examples of these experiences are presented below:
Psychological problems associated with low self-esteem
In addition to the above causes, sometimes negative self-evaluations are caused by negative experiences that have happened later in life. For example. painful breakups or abusive relationships, persistent stress, bullying or mobbing, etc. Therefore, the relationship between psychological problems and self-esteem is a reality.
Many psychological or emotional problems are associated with low self-esteem, and this is why it is one of the most frequent reasons for psychological consultation. And since self-esteem can cause other types of problems (depression, eating disorders, addictions, anxiety, etc.), action needs to be taken.
Stop being your worst enemy: strategies to improve self-esteem
Low self-esteem is closely related to how you value and react to things that happen. If you want to stop being one of those people with low self-esteem, you can follow these tips to stop being your worst enemy and improve your self-esteem:
1. Set realistic goals
Feeling frustrated by trying to achieve excessively difficult goals encourages low self-esteem to appear. The reason is simpler than it seems: if we frequently see that despite our efforts we do not achieve what we wanted to obtain, this makes us feel smaller than the environment in which we live, which begins to seem hostile to us. We will tend to focus our attention on that supposed failure, and not on the nuances of why we set that goal in the first place or why we misjudged our possibilities.
That does not mean that we are not ambitious, it means that we must be careful when weighing our possibilities and considering whether we lack preparation or material means to aspire to achieve something.
Comparing ourselves to others leads us to fall into a vicious circle; Once we have entered that competitive mentality, it is difficult to stop. The obsession with wanting to surpass others is capable of preventing us from enjoying our achievements without feeling discomfort for continuing to be “below” someone who surpasses us in a certain ability.
3. Appreciate your qualities
Another of the most useful tips to stop having low self-esteem and love yourself is to stop and think about our merits and our achievements when we achieve one that is meaningful to us.
Other tips to improve self-concept
Other recommendations to combat low self-esteem are the following:
Seeking help to learn to love yourself
If you detect that you have a serious self-esteem problem and the above has not worked, it is necessary that you solve it as soon as possible because you do not have to continue suffering any longer. So, instead of hiding and looking the other way, you can:
