Madame Bovary Syndrome: What Is It And What Are Its Symptoms?
Throughout our lives, each and every one of us develops our own vision of the world, based on the experience and learning that we extract not only from what we experience but from what our peers and our culture teach us.
This vision includes, among other aspects, how our relationships with others should be, something that leads us to have expectations regarding the socio-affective interactions we maintain.
However, Sometimes our expectations are not realistic, and we find ourselves with a reality that we do not like and that can generate dissatisfaction. Although in general we all have some disappointment that we end up overcoming, some people live in a state of permanent frustration, affected by excessively idealistic and romantic expectations that when confronted with reality cannot be satisfied.
Madame Bovary Syndrome is a term coined after the protagonist of Gustave Flaubert’s renowned novel, “Madame Bovary.” It refers to an affliction where individuals, often in pursuit of unattainable ideals, find themselves trapped in a cycle of dissatisfaction and disillusionment, leading to reckless behavior and ultimately, self-destruction. In this comprehensive analysis, we delve into the intricacies of this syndrome, its psychological underpinnings, and its real-world manifestations.
The roots of Madame Bovary Syndrome can be traced back to the novel’s central character, Emma Bovary, whose relentless pursuit of romantic fantasies and materialistic desires serves as a cautionary tale. Flaubert’s portrayal of Emma’s discontent with her provincial life and her incessant longing for passion and luxury struck a chord with readers, highlighting the universal human tendency to idealize and yearn for the unattainable.
Madame Bovary syndrome: what are we talking about?
Bovarism or Madame Bovary syndrome It is a maladaptive pattern of behavior and cognition that is characterized by the existence of persistent and chronic dissatisfaction derived from the strong discrepancy between reality and the expectations we have of the world, especially within the scope of emotional and romantic relationships. Although romantic relationships are a common element in his type of thinking, what defines the disorder is chronic dissatisfaction and the pursuit of an unrealistic ideal of happiness.
This syndrome, a behavioral alteration that, although it has no official consideration, is increasingly known, can generate a high level of unhappiness and psychological suffering to those who suffer from it, and is much more common in women than in men, despite the fact that each There is perhaps a greater tendency towards a balance between both sexes. The name of the syndrome comes from the novel Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert, in which the protagonist maintains excessive expectations regarding love (due to the idealization of it derived from reading romantic novels) and seeks to satisfy them in the face of what she considers a monotonous life. and boring and a marriage without love, without ever being able to satisfy them.
Those who suffer from Madame Bovary syndrome usually maintain an idyllic and utopian vision of love and relationships, a vision that does not withstand being contrasted with real life and that generates, on the one hand, great dissatisfaction and, on the other, a rejection of said reality, not being able to accept the great divergence between their expectations and the world. It is common for them to maintain a compulsive search for happiness and their vision of a perfect life and relationships. They usually look for their better half, their soulmate or ideal partner. There is also usually an extreme fear of not finding them, and even the denial of this possibility.
They tend to develop a melancholic and dependent personality, making every effort to ensure that their relationships are as close as possible to their ideal.
Psychological and relational consequences
The impact generated by this syndrome can be enormous The person himself usually feels constantly dissatisfied and unhappy, and tends to deny aspects of the world that do not correspond to his ideals. It is common for anxious and depressive symptoms to appear, with a tendency towards melancholy and dysthymia, and sometimes they lead to aggressive and self-destructive behavior.
Their social and relationship relationships are highly unsatisfactory, marked by possessiveness, jealousy and recriminations, at the same time that they tend to focus on the other (in a highly dependent way) in such a way that a large part of the own interests in order not to be abandoned. There is a certain egocentrism, valuing the relationship by the way it affects only the subject himself.
Main symptoms of this alteration
Among the main symptoms of this alteration, the presence of the aforementioned permanent dissatisfaction stands out first, as well as the maintenance of rigid and unrealistic expectations and perspectives. There is a strong cognitive dissonance. It is not uncommon for the person to see themselves as sacrificed and idealized, with a tendency to consider themselves deserving of the best.
There is usually a biased worldview, processing only the information that supports their worldview and ignoring the rest, and even refusing to recognize it. In addition, On an emotional level, there also tends to be a deep feeling of emptiness resulting from the impossibility of achieving one’s desires, as well as an overvaluation and an exaggerated emotional reaction to conflicts and divergences. There is usually neuroticism and difficulties tolerating monotony and frustration, also maintaining excessive expectations regarding how their life should be.
On a romantic level, these people tend to compulsively search for an ideal love, spending a large amount of time looking for love or keeping someone by their side. There is great emotional dependence and often the subject focuses exclusively on his or her partner, with whom identification is sought. Identification with the other reaches the level that the spouse’s tastes and ways of seeing the world are copied and assumed as their own.
However, when it does not meet their expectations, they can go on to look for other people even if they have a partner, so that infidelity and not stopping a relationship until they can jump to another considered better is not uncommon. Impossible and complicated loves tend to attract them, given the challenge they represent.
Possible causes
Madame Bovary syndrome is not a recognized disorder and its causes are not entirely known. However, the very definition of the disorder establishes that the origin of this chronic dissatisfaction is found in the lack of adequacy between the person’s expectations and reality.
These expectations may be due to an overly utopian view of romantic relationships, often exacerbated by literature or cinematographic or theatrical works. Likewise, it has been observed that there is a tendency that people with this syndrome tend to have suffered situations of abandonment, deprivation of affection or abuse in childhood, something that may have led to idealizing a normative relationship or affection situation and a fear extreme of not getting it.
Treatment?
Madame Bovary syndrome is a behavioral disorder whose treatment involves working on the deepest beliefs regarding the value of relationships, modifying cognitive biases and unrealistic beliefs, and working on self-esteem. It is necessary to reflect and analyze the way of thinking, feeling and relating to both oneself and the environment, as well as the way this has affected the life of the subject and those around him.
Now, it must be taken into account that this syndrome is deeply affected by personality characteristics and specifically with dependent personality disorder, so the treatment must take into account that deep aspects of the way of being will have to be worked on. and the world on the part of the patient, something that may require working on why a change is needed before moving on to treating the problem points themselves.
Psychological Factors at Play
At the heart of Madame Bovary Syndrome lies a complex interplay of psychological factors. Dissatisfaction with one’s circumstances, coupled with an insatiable desire for something more, fuels a sense of emptiness and longing. This perpetual dissatisfaction can stem from various sources, including unfulfilled desires, societal pressure, and unrealistic expectations fostered by media and cultural norms.
In today’s hyper-connected world, Madame Bovary Syndrome manifests itself in myriad ways, permeating both personal and professional spheres. From individuals trapped in dead-end relationships to professionals chasing the elusive pursuit of success at any cost, the syndrome’s influence is palpable. Social media exacerbates this phenomenon, providing a platform for curated portrayals of idealized lifestyles, further fueling feelings of inadequacy and discontent.
Impact on Mental Health and Well-being
The relentless pursuit of unattainable ideals exacts a heavy toll on mental health and overall well-being. Constant comparison to unrealistic standards breeds feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, leading to anxiety, depression, and other psychological ailments. Moreover, the cycle of dissatisfaction perpetuated by Madame Bovary Syndrome can sabotage relationships, careers, and personal fulfillment, leaving individuals trapped in a perpetual state of disillusionment.
Breaking the Cycle: Strategies for Overcoming Madame Bovary Syndrome
While Madame Bovary Syndrome may seem insurmountable, there are strategies individuals can employ to break free from its grip:
Cultivate Gratitude and Contentment
Practicing gratitude and mindfulness can help shift focus away from what is lacking towards appreciation for the present moment and the blessings in one’s life. By cultivating contentment with what one has, individuals can mitigate the impact of unrealistic desires and expectations.
Set Realistic Goals and Expectations
Setting achievable goals and maintaining realistic expectations is crucial in combating Madame Bovary Syndrome. By defining clear objectives and acknowledging limitations, individuals can avoid falling prey to the allure of unattainable fantasies and instead focus on tangible progress and personal growth.
Foster Meaningful Connections
Nurturing authentic relationships and fostering meaningful connections can provide a sense of fulfillment and belonging that transcends materialistic pursuits. Investing in interpersonal connections and prioritizing genuine human connection can serve as a powerful antidote to the emptiness propagated by Madame Bovary Syndrome.
Seek Professional Help
In cases where Madame Bovary Syndrome manifests as severe distress or dysfunction, seeking professional help is paramount. Therapists, counselors, and mental health professionals can provide valuable support and guidance in navigating the underlying issues contributing to feelings of dissatisfaction and disillusionment.
Madame Bovary Syndrome serves as a poignant reminder of the pitfalls of idealization and the perils of relentless pursuit of unattainable ideals. By understanding its origins, acknowledging its psychological underpinnings, and adopting proactive strategies for overcoming its influence, individuals can break free from the cycle of dissatisfaction and reclaim agency over their lives.
