What happens during the entire gestation period, the way in which childbirth occurs and the experiences lived up to approximately 6 years of age, are determining aspects for set behavioral patterns that will be displayed throughout our lives Of course, obviously, situations will continue to arise from our environment that will continue to feed our psyche and influence decision-making and our way of behaving.
Dr. Bruce H. Lipton, in his book The biology of belief, talks to us extensively about the subject, breaking paradigms about what was believed regarding genetics. This prestigious Cellular Biologist introduces his studies on epigenetics, a field of science that studies the activation of genes as factors that affect development because they can be modified according to the environment with which we interact.
In other words, at the first level of affectation, it is not the genes that affect human behavior, It is our parents who have an effect on us at this level, even before being born. And this is due not only to the fact that they transmit their genetic material to us, but also to the environment in which our mother develops, which can drastically affect us.
This is a topic that is addressed a lot in therapy processes, because children, adolescents or adults present many difficulties in their relationships with themselves or with their parents or their partners. The circumstances surrounding their upbringing have been decisive in forming the necessary or unnecessary structures to face life.
Below, I outline the environments and experiences that directly and negatively affect the baby and the mother. In this sense, it is necessary to understand in depth the leading role of the father in this process.
The first person that the mother needs to achieve positive emotional states during pregnancy is the father of her child. The baby’s health, in the emotional psychological field, depends largely on the father’s support, and to this we must also add the psychological states that belong exclusively to the mother, because these also depend on the circumstances of his upbringing. returning to the bond between her and her parents, which can create a chain of very dysfunctional and painful situations leading the mother and father to repeat patterns of behavior that continue to damage the human psyche of the new being, in this case their child.
The phenomenon of stress
There is a lot of information about the negative effects of stress. If the mother is stressed while she is pregnant, the baby is much more likely to be born with stress problems.
A stressed child is very crying, sleeps little, is irritable and prone to illness because his immune system is affected. When they are older, they may have hyperactivity, language, and socialization problems.
There are many reasons that can stress the mother, and we already mentioned the main one previously, when we talked about the importance of the father’s support throughout the entire process of pregnancy and raising the baby.
Other reasons that cause stress go hand in hand with Circumstances related to unplanned pregnancies Living through pregnancy and not accepting it in the full sense of the word implies recurring thoughts and emotions of rejection towards the baby.
The long-term effects of problems
In most cases, the consequences on children due to the lack of emotional bond with the mother during early childhood have to do with disobedient behavior, very frequent anger, indiscipline, tantrums, poor school performance, etc. When these boys or girls grow up, they develop behaviors framed within unfounded fears, low self-esteem, a tendency to commit crimes or take drugs, and they have a tendency to develop and maintain very toxic relationships because they unconsciously hold a lot of resentment towards the mother and also the father.
There are other factors that negatively influence the pregnancy of the baby. These special circumstances, even if it is a desired pregnancy, influence the psycho-emotional health of both the mother and the baby. When the mother is not in good health, when she works, studies, when she does not eat well or sleep well, etc.
When you are a single mother It is common for that person’s closest environment (their parents and/or partner) to not agree at all with this situation and cause them a lot of pain and suffering due to the constant reproaches; In addition, fear may arise in the face of this totally new situation for her.
Not everything is written in books, but from experience in approaching therapy, when the problems that arise within human coexistence are investigated, these generally have to do with dysfunctional couple relationships, where or she finds it very difficult to create situations that make their partner happy.
To do?
In order to create happiness outwardly, you must first do it inwardly If there is wrong information in our unconscious due to unhealthy emotional ties, with that information in tow, we will try to live and recreate them with our partner and family.
Therapy processes are extremely healing for these and other circumstances that arise in human life. You just have to make the decision to learn to leave the past, to live a present full of satisfaction and joy, which translates into happy couples and families, which will give rise to more conscious and healthy societies.
