Mature Love: Why Second Love Is Better Than The First?
Many films, songs or novels are inspired by love, this feeling so intense that it is capable of leaving us sensations and feelings that are difficult to forget.
Throughout our lives We can fall in love sometimes, and sometimes people even fall in love several times But first love can be a love so intense that madness can take over us. Now, after regaining our sanity, the experience of this first failed love can allow us to experience the next love in a different way; in a more mature way.
The idea that first love is the only and most important love in our life is a mistaken belief. First love can be unforgettable, but that doesn’t mean it is the love of our life. You also learn to love, and for a relationship to work, you also have to learn to make it work If you have just left your partner and feel that you will never love with such intensity again, do not despair. You can love again and you can love better.
Love also ends
First love comes to us almost without realizing it, it invades us, and when we realize it, we are so immersed in it that getting out is not an easy task. If your first love ends, getting your feet back on the ground, with reality, is complicated Heartbreak is a process that can be very long for some people, especially that of first love. Well, the lack of experience in overcoming these types of ups and downs can lead some individuals to depression.
Those who have been there know that you can leave sadness behind and regain your motivation to live, but this takes time. Returning to normal is a process, and when we reach the point of leaving everything we have experienced behind, there are many memories that hit our minds. Certainly, it is not at all easy to accept that the situation has come to an end, that the other person, the one we loved so much for the first time, will rebuild their life without us and everything they experienced will be left behind never to return **. Therefore, to overcome heartbreak, it is necessary to overcome a series of stages of grief**.
After first love… comes the existential crisis
From a young age, culture shapes our way of thinking. Our vision of love, therefore, is influenced by this. We believe that love is like in the movies, something that is not in line with reality. When our first love ends, we have to re-educate ourselves, we have to be realistic and leave behind some irrational thoughts that can do us a lot of harm.
And of course, re-educating yourself involves breaking with old mental patterns When we realize that our way of thinking is no longer useful, we can suffer an existential crisis. The existential crisis clouds us and makes us feel like we don’t know the path we should follow. This can be very mentally draining and can lead to emotional problems. At least until we find ourselves again to stay afloat.
In this stage of growth we end up looking for a new life in which a new love story can gain prominence. To do this, it is necessary to learn from the past and reconnect with ourselves. It is then when we can open our hearts to love again to fall in love again.
Related article: “Existential crisis: when we do not find meaning in our lives”
Giving way to mature love
Luckily, human beings have a great capacity to adapt and can learn from past experiences. First love is usually an irrational love in most cases (although not always). And although it is usually an enormously rewarding experience at first, the suffering it leaves behind can be one of the most unpleasant situations we have to experience in this life. But like any existential crisis, Learning from this experience can make us grow enormously as people and can allow us to discover mature love
Mature love is the one that lasts, because even though the flame of irrational love can be very intense, it dissolves in its own fire. Mature love is a love that is fueled by understanding, respect on the part of both members of the couple. The mature love relationship is free and is based on communication and negotiation. This love is not born, it is built over time and is cared for. It endures because it is the true one.
Want more tips on how to make your relationship work? In our article “The 7 keys to having a healthy relationship” you will find all the information you need.
