My Ex-partner Is With Someone Else: How Can I Get Over It?
One of the most complicated situations we can experience is heartbreak. Although, when we fall in love, we can live in a cloud, leaving it with the person we love so much can cause great sadness and affect our life in a negative way.
Possibly, heartbreak is one of those life experiences that take us directly to the existential crisis: Our self-esteem is seriously damaged and we do not know very well where we should go in life Of course, heartbreak is overcome, although sometimes we need time.
When they break our hearts and leave us for another
But if leaving someone is complicated and painful, it is even worse when that person we have loved begins a relationship with another person right after leaving us, or worse yet, they leave us for someone else.
We can feel like real failures, we can blame ourselves for not knowing how to maintain a relationship, we can feel inferior by believing that our new partner is better for us and, worse still, we can believe that we are not worthy people because the other person has remade their relationship. life and we are not capable of doing it.
Well, even in these moments of extreme emotional pain, It is possible to emerge stronger and learn from this traumatic experience Below you can find a series of tips to achieve this.
1. Accept it
One of the defects that people have is that we tend to blame ourselves very easily and not valuing our achievements enough. And this situation, in which it seems that we are to blame for this story, can crush us in such a way that it becomes difficult not to spend a single night without crying and without sleeping.
Stating that losing the person you love and also seeing how they rebuild their life with someone and that it is easy to accept it overnight is a mistake, because the impact of the first news we have leaves us seriously affected.
Now, it is also true that human beings have a surprising capacity for adaptation, and it is these moments that make us grow as people. Therefore, the sooner we accept what has happened, knowing that it is a slow process and that it requires will, the sooner we will emerge and be able to fully enjoy life again.
2. Express what you feel
This complicated situation, in addition to being painful, can be embarrassing It is normal that we do not want to talk to anyone and that we decide to keep all that pain inside so as not to seem like weak people. But many times, expressing what we feel with trusted people can provide an emotional catharsis that will help us feel better. Now, it is not good to dwell on this bad experience over and over again, so it is necessary to move forward.
3. Don’t take it as a battle
It is hard to see that the other person has managed to rebuild his life and has done it with another, but this is not a battle Everyone needs time to get over heartbreak, and even if your partner is with someone else, it doesn’t mean they’re over it. There are people who do not know how to be alone because of their low self-esteem and emotional weakness. Therefore, instead of focusing on your ex, direct your attention towards yourself and your dreams and needs.
A breakup always hurts, especially when you love the person you’ve been with very much, but as the saying goes, you learn from pain. Now you no longer share your time with anyone, so you have all the time in the world to get to know yourself and fight for your personal development. Fall in love with yourself and success is assured
5. It’s not your fault
It’s easy to blame yourself when the relationship doesn’t end well because no one likes to be blamed, and at the moment of leaving the relationship, the two members take out all the dirty laundry at once, as anger and resentment usually appear. It’s possible that some of the blame for the breakup is yours, but not all of it. So don’t feel guilty and instead of using the time to blame yourself, take advantage of it to change what you need in your life so you can grow.
6. Don’t compare yourself
And if it is not good to blame yourself, it is not good to compare yourself with your partner or with his or her new boyfriend or girlfriend As I mentioned, your ex may be with someone else because he doesn’t know how to be alone. It is also not good for you to compare yourself with the other person because you have talents, abilities and a different way of being, and that does not mean that you are worse. Accept yourself as you are, seek to grow every day, and another person will arrive with whom you will fit in.
It is necessary, when you end a relationship, that you avoid those places where you can cross paths with your partner, since heartbreak is not linear, that is, there are ups and downs. If you go through a week in which you feel better, seeing your ex again with someone else can make you feel the same or worse than you did a month ago. So get on with your life and don’t lose focus.
8. Avoid looking for him
And avoiding those places where you can cross paths with your partner also includes searching for them, for example, on social networks. In heartbreak what counts is all or nothing, since when we fall in love our brain undergoes a cascade of neurochemicals similar to what happens in the brain of a drug addict. In heartbreak, we can become obsessed and depressed very easily, because serotonin levels decrease.
9. Focus on yourself
Furthermore, all or nothing means that we can rebuild our lives and focus on ourselves without having to constantly think about the other person. At first it may be difficult, but over time our brain regains stability and, therefore, it is easier to focus on our personal development, which is key to overcoming any relationship breakup
10. Seek psychological support if necessary
Sometimes, but Suffering from heartbreak and seeing that our partner is with another can affect different areas of our life and for a very long period of time. In these cases, it is necessary to go to psychological therapy to learn new relationship skills, change some negative beliefs that may be affecting our life and increase our self-esteem. The psychologist can help you overcome this difficult stage of your life.
