My Girlfriend Left Me: 5 Tips To Get Over A One-sided Breakup
My girlfriend left me, what can I do to feel good again? My boyfriend broke up with our relationship, how can I get over it? These are typical concerns when faced with unilateral breakups, and the truth is that it is relatively normal for many people to obsess over these types of problems for a time. The end of the idyll is usually painful, and if it has also happened as a result of a unilateral decision, it is usually even more so.
However, No time of sadness and emotional crisis has to last indefinitely, and no matter how bad we are, there is a lot we can do to feel better and overcome that hard blow. Another person may have decided to end something shared, but regarding our psychological well-being, all the legitimacy to change for the better and feel good lies with oneself.
Tips to follow if your boyfriend or girlfriend has left you
It is true that there are no great natural laws about love that are fulfilled in 100% of cases, but Most often, unilateral breakups are very painful In these cases, we must try not to stay stuck in that crisis stage, so that sadness does not always remain there, preventing us from living life normally. Below you will find several useful tips if your girlfriend has left you and you feel very upset.
There are people who believe that they will get over the breakup better if they pretend it didn’t happen, which leads them to try to do exactly the same thing they have always been doing, as if they had not been affected by what happened This is a mistake. If you live with the obsession of “my girlfriend has left me”, “my boyfriend will not return, or similar, there is no point in imposing such an artificial facade on oneself.
Therefore, it is necessary to dedicate at least a few minutes a day to facing the breakup and accepting its existence. Yes, this is a painful thing, and it is very possible that there will be moments of crying. However, at least in the early phases of the process of getting over the breakup, it is good to expose yourself to this.
2. Understand that you are looking for a long-term goal
Leaving your comfort zone is essential, and this means accepting that you will have to go through uncomfortable moments for a greater good: returning to normality in the coming weeks and months, and not allowing your discomfort and sadness to become chronic.
On the other hand, understanding that what you do in the present must fit into the logic of that improvement process in the medium or long term means that one’s mental health comes first, and that is why the relationship with the ex-partner must be subordinated to what in each case we believe is most useful for us. There should be no feelings of guilt for wanting not to have contact with him or her.
When someone leaves their partner, it is very common for them to begin to have feelings of guilt, even if they appear from totally irrational beliefs. This causes intrusive thoughts to appear referring to those situations that, according to oneself, have caused the boyfriend or girlfriend to end the relationship.
It is true that possibly a good part of what has led the other person to break up with us has to do with things we have done, but we must keep two things in mind.
First of all, not everything that led to the breakup and was a product of our actions is something to be ashamed of or apologize for. For example, incompatibilities in terms of priorities or personality They cannot be the fault of one of the parties or the other. There is no type of person we must be like to maintain the good health of our relationship.
Secondly, even in what may be considered morally wrong and that has saddened or angered the ex-partner, can serve as a lesson to improve in the future You have no power over the past, but you do have power over the present and the future. Making this experience useful for learning is the best way to progress and ensure that self-esteem does not suffer indefinitely due to what happened.
4. Look for irrational beliefs
With events as important as a breakup, it is very easy for, without us realizing it, various totally irrational ideas about who we are and what we have done to slip into our belief system. Normally these ideas are very pessimistic or have a bias that leads us to focus all our attention on what we perceive as our own weaknesses. That’s why, It is necessary to reflect and gradually uncover these baseless beliefs
In some cases, one’s own effort is not enough to assimilate the breakup and live again without being permanently installed in sadness. In this case, what you can do for yourself is reject the idea that if you go to psychotherapy for the psychological support it can provide you, that will be a symptom of weakness. It is totally understandable that, if someone we love leaves us, we have difficulty getting back to being well; Ultimately, it is a grieving process.
