Our “I”, what we call “personality”, is always the result of our biological and genetic character and our life experiences. from pregnancy itself in the womb to adulthood.
Indeed, from the fetus itself, the neurobiological conformation of our brain will be molded through the interaction of our biological characteristics, with their corresponding genetic load, with the environment in which we land in the world and the relationships that we establish in the same, especially with the most important figures, those of our caregivers.
This enormous adaptive effort will always be aimed at cushioning pain and anguish as much as possible. Our brain, at a neurobiological level, and therefore our “I” at a psychological level, will always be the result of a survival effort, whatever the environment in which we grow, more hostile or more welcoming.
Obviously, depending on the hostility of the environment, we will develop one type of attachment or another so that the final result of the equation will be a personality, masterfully designed to survive in the “world” that has been our lot.
This process is neurological and biological, and in it, our genetic base also plays a determining role. A visual brain, with crossed left-handedness, is not the same as a structured, formal brain with a tendency to recurring thoughts.
The formation of the “I” is linked to its history
In any case, We do not choose our caregivers, nor do we choose the genetic tools with which to deal with primal experiences. of our life. Obviously, the type of relationship our caregivers establish with us is crucial in this process. But this is not the topic of this article so we will not go into details about the formation of attachment types.
The important thing in this sense is that in this always unfinished process of neurobiological and psychological development, our “I” is taking shape, our “interpreter” of reality that will accompany us until the end of our days. We will already have a secure attachment, or ambivalent or avoidant, even disorganized. We will have already developed different survival tools such as seeking affection, control, emotional disconnection, generalized alertness, etc.
It is useless to describe this result as good or bad. It is the result of an adaptive effort and as such, the “way” with which our brain, biologically speaking, solved the problem of survival in its development. From this point of view, this result is always adaptive. Another thing is that, over time, in adult reality, this “I” or the absence thereof, becomes dysfunctional. This is what we call pathology.
In other words, What was useful at the time in childhood, especially for survival, is sometimes dysfunctional for the serene and mature coping with adult reality. For example, a personality secondary to abuse in childhood is very likely to, later as an adult, not “understand” that the environment is no longer hostile, that it is already safe, and will constantly misinterpret innocuous signals as threats and friendly environments as hostile.
The “I” resulting from abuse in this case is not prepared for affection and emotional relationships. And what you need and long for most will often be what causes you the most fear, entering into an unsolvable emotional equation with subsequent devastating and enormously painful consequences.
That is why at Vitaliza we adapt different techniques to address trauma in its most complete context. And among them, this course/webinar: “My Self, consequence and cause of my suffering. Repair of adult attachment” scheduled for this month of September (Tuesday the 15th and Thursday the 17th) where we will learn to recognize both the biological and experiential part of our “I”, so that we can name what happens to us and consequently understand how on many occasions I am the cause of my suffering. (vitaliza.net/es/agenda).
This learning, this giving meaning to my experience, will open an unprecedented path for me when approaching any therapeutic intervention, since it will start from a complete acceptance and a deep knowledge of myself, which will in turn enable a conscious maturation of my person at all levels, managing to break loops, molds and limits that until now have been unapproachable for me.
Author: Javier Elcarte, neuropsychologist, and founder and director of Vitaliza.
