My Partner Doesn’t Love My Family: Possible Causes And What To Do
Does this thought frequently come to mind: “My partner doesn’t love my family”? Do you feel like you are in a constant war between your family and your partner? Don’t despair, in this article we bring you some key ideas to improve the relationship between your partner and your family.
However, first we will comment on three possible circumstances (or causes) that could be occurring along with this situation, and that may help you better understand the reason for everything.
“My partner doesn’t love my family”: possible circumstances
You think the following: “my partner doesn’t love my family”, but you don’t quite understand why. There are many causes (or circumstances) that could explain it but here you will find some quite common ones that could occur in your case.
So, why doesn’t my partner love my family? What circumstances may accompany the situation you are experiencing? Let’s see some:
1. Your family doesn’t like your partner
One of the possible circumstances surrounding the fact that your partner doesn’t like your family is that your family doesn’t like your partner either.
This, obviously, is often noticeable, and it may happen that your partner notices that your family does not like him, which in turn causes it to occur. some distance between both parties, or even the emergence of conflicts. That is, it may be that there is no feeling between your family and your partner, and that “dislike” is mutual.
2. They have nothing in common
Another possible circumstance surrounding the issue is that, simply, your family and your partner have nothing in common
This can make your partner lazy to attend family events, or not feel sympathy for them because they have never connected in any way. Thus, the lack of common interests can cause a situation like the one we propose.
3. For your family, your partner is insufficient
It may also happen that your family thinks that your partner is not enough for you (good enough, smart enough, rich enough, whatever). That is, they think that you deserve something “better.”
Couples end up noticing this, which can cause your partner to not feel sympathy for your family either, and directly “not love them,” because These thoughts towards her logically make him feel bad (feeling, in turn, “not enough” for her son).
4. Your partner feels that your family interferes too much
There are political families that are more “invasive” than others in the emotional realm of their relatives; that is to say, fathers and mothers who get very involved in their children’s relationships and others that give them more freedom, more free rein.
In the first case, it may happen that your partner feels overwhelmed by your family’s interference in the relationship, and that this overwhelm is the reason why he or she does not want to be with your family (or directly “does not love them”).
How to improve the situation?
If you constantly feel this feeling or thought that your partner doesn’t quite like your family, perhaps it is time to consider some changes in your life, and get to work to change the situation
It should be clear, however, that for this it is essential that both you and your partner really want to change this situation and improve your partner’s relationship with your family. That is, there must be real motivation and interest. Without this first step, it is impossible to change anything.
We are going to divide this section into two: in the first, we will talk about guidelines or key ideas that your partner can put into practice to improve the relationship with your family (who are usually your parents), and in the second, about guidelines or key ideas that you can put into practice yourself.
When thinking that your partner doesn’t love your family, you also have to consider the following: how can she help change the situation? (besides yourself). Always in the event that she wants, and May this path be focused on improving your relationship as well, if it has been affected by the situation These are some guidelines:
1.1. To speak with your family
A first idea is for your partner to talk directly to your family. You can simply approach her little by little, to find out if there is any basic problem or conflict that she is unaware of, or ask directly.
Depending on the circumstances and trust, You can investigate these questions or ask directly if they have any problems with it It can also be a good opportunity to bring positions closer together, empathize with the other party, listen to each other, understand each other, iron out differences, etc.
1.2. Organize an activity together
Another idea is that your partner, or both of you (with you) organize some activity or event to share time together The ideal would be to develop it in a warm, pleasant and relaxed environment, so that conflicts do not arise and things can be talked about completely naturally.
2. Guidelines for oneself
If you want to be the one to take control of the situation and act, here are some tips that may help you:
2.1. Talk to your partner
A first step you can do is to talk directly to your partner about the situation; about how you feel about it, what you think, how it is affecting you, how she experiences it, etc Find a good time to do it, and to be able to share feelings, thoughts or beliefs about the current situation.
Surely your partner also needs to “vent” and express his concerns and needs in this regard.
2.2. To speak with your family
Beyond talking to your partner, also It may be important to talk to your family, and express to them what you feel about this situation. Do you feel uncomfortable with your partner? They do not like it? Do you feel like your partner rejects you? How do they live it?
These are just some questions you can ask your family, directly or indirectly. The goal is for your family to understand that both your partner and her are important to you, and that you do not want your relationship with her to harm your relationship or family dynamic.
Choose between family or couple?
It is one thing to feel “my partner doesn’t love my family”, and the other, which goes much further, is having to choose between your partner or your family. If none of the parties have asked you about this, you don’t have to ask it yourself, at least a priori.
The ideal would be that you could maintain both relationships and that one would not be incompatible with the other In the end we are human, and people, speaking, understand each other. However, if things get too bad, or if there is great tension between your partner and your family (and you have already tried everything), perhaps it is a good time to think.
It is not necessary to be radical and decide between “one thing or another”, but it is You can consider perhaps distributing your time between both facets of your life, equally, and without your partner having too much contact with your family. We already talked about extreme cases, but sometimes they happen.
