Jealousy is one of the most common relationship problems. In fact, in some cases to the extreme of psychopathology, and unfortunately, there are many situations in which they go hand in hand with abuse.
However, if the jealous behavior is not so severe and constitutes the main problem in the relationship in itself, it is possible to overcome it by taking certain measures. Let’s look at it in this article, focusing on this question: What should I do if my partner is too jealous?
One of the characteristics of jealousy is that it produces a “self-fulfilling prophecy” effect: it deteriorates the state of the relationship to a point where, if it is not intervened in time, real reasons appear to worry about the possibility that The other person ends the relationship. For this reason, and for the fact that behavior linked to jealousy produces a lot of discomfort in the person who feels controlled or emotionally blackmailed, It is important to detect this problem quickly, because if not, everything will most likely get worse
Obviously, there are countless ways to express a problematic predisposition to jealousy. However, some of the most common are the following (although they do not have to occur all at once).
These are several tips that can be useful once adapted to each case.
1. Ask yourself if you are suffering from a situation of abuse
The first thing of all is to be clear that the priority is your physical and mental well-being, so everything must start from this question: am I being a victim of abuse? Remember that there is not only physical abuse, and in fact psychological abuse is very common, unfortunately.
If you notice that you are suffering the consequences of a spiral of verbal violence or psychological manipulation and that you cannot get out of it while you maintain a relationship with that person (since it is the other who has the power of the situation and poses a threat), or if you simply notice that the other person’s attacks seriously compromise your physical or mental integrity, Break the relationship as soon as possible and stop dealing with that person
2. Express yourself assertively
If you have determined that your partner’s jealous behavior does not constitute abuse, you should also let them know that the priority is for you to stop experiencing such behaviors on their part: You should not let her be the center of attention when addressing this situation
Tell him assertively that you do not have to be suffering the consequences of his jealousy and that you can help him, but the ultimate responsibility is his, and it should be a process that he takes care of without having to constantly appeal to your good will, whether asking you for favors or demanding things from you.
3. Help him detect and recognize jealousy problems as such
When he does something that reflects his predisposition to jealousy, call his attention to it, at that moment. It is important that you do it right when it happens, so that he learns to associate this type of behavior with the concept of “problematic jealousy.”
4. Help him accept himself
Many times, jealousy problems arise primarily from a problem of personal insecurities and low self-esteem. This is what may be happening to your partner. That’s why, It doesn’t hurt to reinforce your ability to accept and love yourself, talking to her about what he likes about her. One of the implications of this is that it makes no sense to expect you to go with someone else, because you are not with your partner for arbitrary reasons but rather because he or she really brings you what no one else brings you.
5. Practice guided imagination exercises
This is a resource used in psychotherapy, but you can also try to use it on your own It consists of closing your eyes and vividly imagining situations that constitute a challenge or that produce anxiety or stress; It is a way to mentally “practice” and overcome fear based on the descriptions and narrations that another person makes.
In this case, you can help them as a “narrator” of imaginary experiences that normally make them jealous, allowing them to get used to reacting that way when it happens.
Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?
Problems in couple dynamics can be effectively addressed and overcome with professional psychological support. If you are considering using this type of service, I encourage you to contact me.
I am a psychologist specializing in the cognitive-behavioral model and I work caring for adults and adolescents, intervening in cases of dating or marital crises, problems in managing emotions, lack of communication skills, and many other aspects that affect emotional ties. and social interactions in general. The sessions can be held in person in Madrid, or through the online format by video call.
