My Partner Only Sees The Bad Things About Me: Why And What To Do

We are not perfect and we make mistakes, so it is normal that from time to time our partner may criticize us. In fact, receiving some criticism from your partner does not have to be negative, as long as he communicates it to you assertively and it is specific situations. However, what happens when your partner criticizes you for everything?

Constant criticism from someone you love, and who is supposed to love you, can generate great insecurity and be very damaging to the relationship. Furthermore, it is difficult to be affectionate with someone who is constantly telling you what you are doing wrong, so the situation becomes tense and unpleasant.

When this situation continues over time and does not disappear despite having tried to solve it through dialogue, you can answer in three ways :

• Avoidance : The most common response when we don’t like something is to avoid it. The problem with this behavior is that avoidance prevents us from solving problems, therefore they remain and generally get worse.
• Confrontation : The frustration caused by being constantly criticized makes anger appear. Whether by showing anger or returning criticism.
• Learned helplessness : the victim of criticism “learns” that no matter what he does, the result is the same. Therefore, she stops trying to fix the problem and allows it to continue. Learned helplessness is tremendously harmful.

A criticism at a specific moment, especially if it is said with respect and with the intention of helping, can be beneficial. It may make us feel bad because no one likes to be told what they do wrong, but it can help us improve.

However, constant criticism is not good and does not make us feel good no matter how good the intention is. People who constantly criticize can do it for any of the following reasons :

• Unsafety : They feel insecure and project it on others.
• Egocentrism : They believe that it is good to tell others what they are doing wrong in their opinion so that they can change.
• Lack of tolerance : They are little or not at all tolerant.
• Superiority : They feel superior, they believe that their way of acting and thinking is correct and they get frustrated when someone deviates from their norms.
• Aggressive communication style : They do not know how to communicate correctly.
• Fear : They are afraid, either because of previous experiences or because of the possibility of abandonment.

In these cases, the reasons the person has for criticizing do not justify doing so. The constant criticism is toxic for a relationship and are often considered psychological abuse.

In a healthy relationship, your partner makes you feel better and more secure. It doesn’t leave you feeling like you’re doing everything wrong If, on the other hand, you feel that your partner only sees flaws in you, criticizes everything you do and makes you feel bad, you need to reflect on the changes you should demand in the relationship or even consider walking away from the person.

Below we leave you some tips to help you deal with this situation in the best way:

1. Attention

First of all, you need to know what a healthy relationship is and make sure you are not in a toxic relationship. The healthy relationships They are characterized by affection and admiration and not by criticism. The members of the couple respect each other and do not constantly reproach each other:

• When problems arise, they talk and both give in to find a solution and do not accuse each other.
• Each one has their own way of thinking and being and the other respects it and does not judge it.
• When one of the members of the couple has problems, they receive support from the other member and not negative evaluations.

2. Communication

What do I do if my partner continually corrects me? Communication is another important aspect to take into account if your partner criticizes everything you do. If your partner makes you feel bad with his reproachful attitude, speaks badly to you, only sees your flaws and judges you, It is important that you explain how you feel in that situation.

3. Assessment of change

If you see an intention to change for the better, couples therapy can help you improve your communication style, accept each other’s failures, and reach agreements that are beneficial to both of you. If you continue with the relationship, constant criticism is not an option and will be one of the insurmountable limits, since it will not benefit any of you, much less the relationship.

4. End the relationship

Finally, if you see that there is no intention to change and your partner believes that he has the right to constantly reproach or criticize you, the best thing for your mental health is to stay away of that person. He may tell you that he does it because he loves you or because he wants the best for you, but the reality is that he does not accept you as you are and that this way of loving is not healthy for anyone. In the following article you can see 30 signs that a relationship is not working.

We must be aware that there are things that we cannot change and we must accept them as they are. Therefore, if despite letting someone know that their attitude and criticism make you feel bad, they do not change their behavior, you need to accept that this relationship is hurting you and walk away from that person.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to My partner only sees the bad things about me: why and what to do we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.