My Son Blames Me For Everything: Why Is It Happening And What Should I Do?
You may hear phrases similar to “you are to blame for everything” when something happens to your child that bothers him, frustrates him and/or makes him feel bad Obviously, this generates great discomfort and inevitably ends in an argument and a worsening of the family climate. As a parent, all kinds of questions come to mind: Have I done something wrong? Could it be the age? Is it normal among teenagers? What can I do to react better?
It is completely normal for negative accusations from a child to make you feel bad; after all, you always try to give them the best: love, food, clothing, home, security, money, etc. But, when she blames her parents for everything, it seems like nothing is enough. In this situation, it is of utmost importance that the father is able to establish limits and use assertiveness so that the situation does not escalate and/or become chronic.
Blame on the part of a child depends on each person, therefore, it can occur at different degrees and levels and can range from blaming the mother for certain types of situations or, taken to the extreme, blaming the mother for each and every situation. one of the acts he performs. However, in all cases, especially those that reach unsustainable extremes, The intervention of third parties is completely necessary, whether family, friends or, best of all, professionals
In this regard, in today’s article, we will answer the question about why my son blames me for everything and, above all, what to do in this type of situation. Keep reading to discover some of the possible causes, the uncomfortable family environment that this leads to and, most importantly, inform yourself about the process you can follow to try to reverse this situation and thus create new positive bonds with your child.
First of all, it is completely necessary to deeply analyze the relationship that has been established throughout the child’s life with his parents. It is important to observe what type of relationship has been established and, above all, how it has been managed and developed over time. Below we present some of these links:
It may be that at some point in the child’s past life, certain situations have occurred where he did not feel they were resolved in a satisfactory manner Therefore, it is like having an open wound that generates frustration, resentment, disappointment, resentment, etc. Furthermore, depending on the severity of each situation from the past, the person generalizes it to a lesser or greater extent in the child’s relationship with the person who did not adequately resolve said situation.
2. Victimizing behavior on the part of the mother
Having a parent with a weak, vulnerable personality, who constantly acts as a victim can greatly influence the person to adopt the behavior of blaming them for everything. What happens in this situation is that it reflects the anger that the son feels towards his parent for not being able to take care of himself. In a strange way, it is as if the son’s behavior serves as a mirror for the mother since the son shows the mother’s unconscious thought of no personal worth and of feeling guilty about everything.
3. Assertive education
When a parent does not have the ability to assertively educate their child, that is when guilty behaviors can arise later in life. It is closely related to not helping him take responsibility for her actions in an attempt to overprotect him.
Furthermore, it usually occurs when parents become responsible, on many occasions, for consequences that are due to their child’s behavior Thus, the child does not learn to take responsibility or manage her emotions. Ultimately, we must remember that a child not only needs our love, but also needs advice and guidance.
We understand that it is an extremely complicated situation and that each person and therefore, each family is different. However, below we offer five tips to try to address and redirect this scenario in the best possible way. Going one step further, these are 5 steps that could help you not only get rid of the main guilt problem, but can also be a good ally in creating a new, stable and positive relationship.
Like everything, the first step is always to become aware of the situation. It is crucial to be able to recognize what is happening and thus see the irrationality of your child’s behavior Next, it is vital to analyze the situations. That is, by observing the specific behaviors of the son when blaming the mother, we can begin to investigate the possible causes that provoke this behavior in the son due to certain actions of his mother.
Once the possible causes have been collected, it is vital to have a conversation with the child to try to get him to name the specific causes, which have generally remained unconscious until now. When we reach the point where the child himself is capable of becoming aware that certain situations are causing him to attack his parents, he confronts himself by teaching the irrationality of her behavior and how it is causing great pain in his parent. .
Finally, the goal is to establish a new operation. Now, both the mother and the son try to create a new relational bond based on the needs of both people and in the use of assertive, empathetic and respectful behaviors that allow them to coexist in a favorable and satisfactory manner.
