‘My Son Doesn’t Leave The Room’: Social Isolation In Adolescents
Among the problems that can arise throughout the stage of adolescence, isolation is one of the most worrying.
Many parents suffer from not knowing how to deal with the constant confinement in which their children live In this article we will review some of the factors involved in this phenomenon that can sometimes cause or aggravate this situation, as well as possible solutions.
“My son won’t leave the room”: understanding this problem
When children become adolescents, parents’ concerns tend to change, as a series of new, previously unknown situations arise. One of those that can be generated is the one at hand: “my son does not leave the room.” This is the problem of social isolation that many young people experience throughout this stage.
Furthermore, this isolation has the essential component of voluntariness, that is: the teenager is the one who is deciding to spend most of his time inside his room instead of going outside and doing other activities or to share more time with your family.
In order to better understand the implications of the phenomenon that worries many parents (remember, my son does not leave the room), the first thing we must focus on is the motivations that lead the adolescent to make this decision.
Reasons why my son does not leave the room
Below we will explore some of the reasons that lead a young person to prefer confinement in their room over other leisure alternatives.
1. Privacy Search
It is obvious that, upon fully entering In adolescence, people begin to have a need for privacy that they did not have before Children are becoming adults through a very complex and sometimes eventful process. One of the new qualities that many of them acquire is precisely the desire for intimacy.
Therefore, they create their safe space in their own room, and that is where they feel safe and therefore prefer to spend their time. They will go out to get the resources they do not have in that space. The most obvious is food. Although some will even try to eat inside the room
When parents worry, thinking, my son won’t leave the room, they should not forget that adolescence involves one of the fundamental changes in the development of the person, which is sexuality. Although sexuality has already been manifested in a subtle way throughout childhood, it is in adolescence when it fully develops
This implies a need for exploration in the person who requires privacy, which reinforces the need to isolate themselves in their own room. The young person will need intimacy to know his sexuality, get to know his body and discover sexual behaviors as normal as masturbation, which usually begins at this stage.
It is understandable that, faced with these new needs for exploration and intimacy, young people require a safe and intimate space.
3. Digital relationships
But there is still a new factor that definitively strengthens the issue regarding my son not leaving the room. It is about the use of new technologies, the flourishing of social networks and digital leisure This phenomenon has also experienced spectacular growth in recent times and has been further consolidated due to the confinement measures adopted during the COVID-19 pandemic.
The point is that, although he is physically isolated in his room, what the adolescent perceives is that he is actually interacting with many people, since it usually happens that the majority of his friends are in a similar situation. Each of them is in his own room, but they are all connected through the internet.
In this way, they will be able to talk through social networks, play the same video game together or even watch the same content at the same time. With platforms such as YouTube or Twitch and their interaction possibilities, new communicators have ousted traditional media, such as television, for the new generations.
All these factors are the perfect breeding ground to promote isolation Therefore, when parents wonder why my child does not leave the room, they should be aware that within those few square meters that define the room, they actually have an entire social world, thanks to connectivity.
In short, young people are developing forms of communication that their parents did not know during their own adolescence, so it is normal for them to feel worried about these new scenarios, which are unknown to them.
Parents’ attitude
The fact that generates the worry, the thought of “my child does not leave the room”, may or may not be a problem, it is difficult to generalize What is essential is that the parents’ attitude towards this issue is appropriate. To do this, we are going to review some tips that could be useful for parents who find themselves in this scenario.
1. Understanding and communication
It is evident that parents, as adults, must work to provide the adolescent with means of communication with them, although every parent knows that this is not always easy. Therefore, it is important not to forget who is the adult and who should have greater understanding and patience.
The adolescent may be overwhelmed by everything he is experiencing at this stage Therefore, you should know that you will always be able to count on your reference adults (generally, your parents) to be able to share your concerns or other issues. Whether he decides to do so is another question, but that way must exist.
Thus, The job of parents must be to promote rapprochement and not fall into attitudes that generate greater distance (constant fights and punishments, non-constructive criticism, etc.). We must always take into account the great sensitivity that is experienced during this stage. The support and guidance of parents will be essential.
2. Limits
Obviously, showing support and understanding does not mean that limits do not exist, far from it. But these must be logical, reasonable and, if possible, consensual, as long as the adolescent stands up for it, which is sometimes not easy.
For example, The use of digital devices in an uncontrolled way can be one of the factors that reinforces the issue of my child not leaving the room In that case, limiting the use of your mobile phone, computer, tablet, or your own Internet connection may be totally logical.
You can try to make the young person see the objective of these limits and propose alternatives when they cannot use these devices, which we will see in greater depth in the next point. In any case, you must perceive that in the coexistence of the home there are a series of rules that everyone must comply with so that the relationships between everyone are the best possible.
But, we must not forget that parents are one of the references of adolescents. Therefore, the example they transmit is essential. You can hardly ask a child or young person not to spend all day on the computer or mobile phone, when parents do exactly that, in front of them
3. Social relationships
The third and fundamental point, as we already anticipated, is to propose alternatives that allow us to turn around the issue of my son not leaving the room. Thus, It is vital to promote social relationships, beyond those they may have through a screen
The young person can be encouraged to do activities with their friends, and if they are of a sporting nature, even better. You may be asked to invite some of your colleagues home. Of course, Parents can also try to organize family leisure activities, but they must be aware that the teenager will not always show too much interest given that their references are young people their age.
In any case, the fact that he can have these alternatives can be very positive, especially if he is given the option of deciding the activity himself, even if it is within a closed list, if the parents prefer to limit the options. alternatives. All of these issues will help make the fact that my son does not leave the room less of a concern.
