People who are not familiar with the theory of Transactional Analysis may not have heard of it. the “negative caresses” This is a concept that becomes important in certain forms of psychotherapy and analysis of psychosocial phenomena, and that can help understand human relationships.
To understand what this type of caresses are, it is necessary to understand the meaning of “caresses” from the transactional perspective Let’s see what its peculiarities are and how they affect us.
According to Eric Berne, the father of Transactional Analysis, caresses are “units of recognition that provide stimulation to an individual.” Therefore, from a transactional perspective, the concept is different from what is generally understood as caress: “soft, delicate physical contact made by sliding the hand or fingers over someone’s body.”
From Transactional Analysis, Caresses not only refer to physical stimulation, since they also include psychological and social stimulation (recognition). In this sense, applying caresses is a way of establishing links based on the externalization of that knowledge that we are facing a being with its own subjectivity, something that implies recognizing its autonomy.
Everyone needs physical and psychological stimulation to have a full life, and caresses are a fundamental unit of social recognition. Both physical and psychological caresses provide many benefits from an early age, and as we grow, social recognition becomes an essential aspect for psychological well-being.
In the theory of Transactional Analysis, two types of caresses according to the sensation they invite you to live: the positive caresses and the negative. Positive caresses provoke pleasant sensations and emotions; and the negative ones cause unpleasant sensations and emotions.
Below are some examples of these types of caresses:
The negative caresses They may be:
We all have the need to be accepted and touched
Berne speaks of “hunger for caresses” to name people’s need to be recognized and touched, since the deprivation of sensory aspects in children can cause psychological problems. Already at an early age, the lack of positive caresses (being caressed, praised, etc.) can cause the child to seek negative caresses to compensate for the lack of social recognition, and is a way of seeking attention that they do not receive.
Therefore, sometimes negative caresses are used with family, partners, friends, and these are toxic behaviors that poison our relationships and have harmful effects for the members of the relationship. That is why you should avoid giving and receiving negative caresses.
This is especially in the parent-child relationship, since in the case of parents it is necessary to:
It is also interesting to allow the child to grow up feeling loved and properly develop their emotional intelligence.
Not only those who do not receive caresses suffer, but also those who do not express them.
A Stanford University study led by James Gross indicates that Suppressing the expression of emotions carries high psychological, social and health costs Individuals who do not express their emotions are unhappier and suffer from lower physiological immunity.
According to this research data, the lack of emotional expression not only does not reduce emotions, but rather magnifies negative emotions, causing problems for physical and psychological well-being. The expression of positive emotions brings more rewarding experiences and improves interpersonal relationships.
