OCD And Relationships: ‘My Husband/wife Has OCD And I Can’t Take It Anymore’
Wondering if your partner has OCD? Do you feel like you no longer know how to handle the situation? Enter and discover what signs can help you identify it and tips to deal with it.
Having a partner means benefiting us in many aspects such as, for example, sharing projects, feeling supported, etc. However, all relationships, whether they are a couple or not, imply that, at times, there are disagreements and arguments that, when not known how to manage, can end the stability of the relationship. At the end of the day, all people are different and no matter how much a person is our partner, that does not mean that we are the same and sometimes, understanding our partner’s point of view or situation can be a great challenge.
When our partner has a psychological disorder, it is inevitable that the dynamics of the relationship will be affected to a greater or lesser extent. Psychological disorders not only affect the person who suffers from them, but also those closest to them, and obsessive-compulsive disorder is no exception. If you have come this far because you think that your partner has OCD and you no longer know how to manage it, in this article we help you identify if this is the case and what you can do to help.
OCD (or obsessive-compulsive disorder) is a psychological disorder characterized by the presence of obsessions and/or compulsions which begin gradually. Currently, it is estimated that between 1.1 and 1.8% of the population suffers from this disorder, but the severity and frequency of obsessions and compulsions can vary between people. According to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), this severity varies depending on whether or not the person is aware that the beliefs they have are irrational. For example, a person may firmly believe that his house is going to burn down if he does not check 20 times that his kitchen burner has been turned off. On the other hand, another person may have the same obsession and compulsion, but be aware that checking it 20 times is something irrational but still carry it out.
What is the difference between obsessions and compulsions?
As we have already mentioned, OCD is characterized by the presence of these two symptoms:
Obsessions: The obsessions They are thoughts in the form of images or impulses that occur repetitively and are persistent. People who suffer from them experience them as intrusive, that is, the person does not evoke them, but rather they appear involuntarily.
Compulsions: Compulsions, in the case of OCD, usually appear after an obsession and unlike the latter, compulsions are behaviors that the person feels they must do to prevent the feared event or to relieve the anxiety or discomfort that the obsession has triggered. obsession. Compulsions are usually like rituals that have a purpose (the relief of discomfort, even in the short term) but the behaviors they entail are excessive and irrational.
The content of obsessions and compulsions can vary depending on the person, culture and even age.
How to know if your partner has OCD?
Sometimes, we can observe our partner and think that having a specific hobby or habit is synonymous with having OCD. There are even various movies that show obsessive-compulsive disorder through comedy and often, we end up having the wrong idea of what this disorder is. The reality is that OCD is associated with a lower quality of life and a deterioration in both social and work life, although that does not mean that a person with OCD cannot work nor have a “normal life.” This deterioration is sometimes related to the time allocated to the compulsions but also to other disorders that are highly associated with OCD such as, for example, anxiety disorders, major depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder suicidal behavior, etc.
Therefore, the signs that may indicate that our partner has OCD are not limited to a simple mania, much less, to become obsessed with someone Here are some signs that could indicate your partner might have OCD. However, just because you meet all the signs does not mean that you really suffer from it, you should always consult a professional to carry out a thorough evaluation of the symptoms:
Performs repetitive behaviors that harm your daily life. For example, your partner arrives late for work because he needs to repeatedly perform the same action to ensure something or to prevent it from happening and this happens regularly, it is not something isolated.
Your partner has recurring and excessive doubts and worries. For example, your partner begins to doubt his sexual orientation and this doubt occurs excessively and causes great discomfort. Sometimes this obsession causes people to check excessively by looking at photographs, pornography, etc. to constantly evaluate your sexual orientation.
It has rules for doing things that must be followed exactly and rigidly.
Your partner avoids some activities or places. Sometimes, people with OCD can identify when their obsessions They occur more frequently and, therefore, end up avoiding certain activities.
Presents inappropriate thoughts or disturbing fears. Some people with OCD have recurring fears related to harming themselves or someone. Although many people believe that people with OCD are dangerous the reality is that this thought is limited to obsession and is not taken to action.
Here we give you some tips that you can do if you have a partner with OCD and how you can solve the problems. couple problems:
Go to a professional: If you suspect that your partner has an obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is important to go to a professional who can evaluate the symptoms and plan treatment. Although OCD is considered a chronic disorder, treatment can decrease the frequency with which symptoms occur. In fact, it has been found that, without treatment, only 20% of adults experience this decrease.
Find out about the disorder: It is normal that you do not know very well the characteristics and what it means to have this disorder. However, educating yourself, whether through books or from a professional, can help you better understand and accept your partner. In fact, in the intervention of various disorders, psychoeducational sessions are essential to improve the environment of the person suffering from a disorder.
Accept the situation: It is normal that, if your partner has been diagnosed with OCD, you feel bad and distressed by this diagnosis. If you feel that you cannot manage the situation and the discomfort it causes, do not feel guilty and consider whether it is necessary to ask for help from a professional. It is understandable that we are distressed by the idea, but keep in mind that having a psychological disorder does not mean that the person stops having abilities, needs and life goals like any other, a disorder does not define a person.
Don’t blame or criticize: In everyday life with a partner with OCD, some inconveniences may arise, such as habitually arriving late. Disorders, like physical illnesses, are not chosen and opting for this type of behavior will end up weakening your relationship. Instead of doing that you can ask him or her what you can do for him or her and offer to listen.
Don’t ridicule his compulsions: Maybe you see your partner doing certain behaviors repetitively and find them totally irrational and unhelpful. However, trying to question their usefulness will only make them feel guilty and ashamed about the situation. Insisting that what he is doing does not make any sense is not going to make these behaviors disappear.
Respect your own space: Just because our partner has a disorder does not mean that we have to abandon our activities, our friends, etc. Sometimes, it is common for the couple to try to adopt the role of caregiver, but the reality is that in the long run, this will harm both you and the relationship. It is important that you maintain your own space as in any healthy relationship and take care of yourself.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder can seriously interfere with the daily life of the person who suffers from it. Therefore, it is essential to go to a qualified professional both for diagnosis and to plan effective treatment.
