Has it happened to you that you anxiously wait for the holidays, but in the end they did not offer you the rest you imagined?
It is clear that physical and emotional rest is necessary, so much so that when a person has worked they have the right to vacation by law, and that in the academic area an estimated time is always dedicated to rest between semesters.
If we are in the role of family and home chores, the situation is no different; The wear and tear of routine with children is great and often stressful, so we find ourselves in the need to take a well-deserved vacation. But many times the emotional conditions avoided and, therefore, accumulated, do not allow us to enjoy a pleasant vacation.
Vacations: it is a synonym for rest, for changing the routine and sharing time and space with the family or with our solitude. However, we are surprised when instead of finding peace we want to run away, our irritability increases or we seek to be active all the time. That’s when We realize that anxiety is taking over the long-awaited vacation..
There are several factors that may be emotionally affecting the person who feels this way, including: having to be aware of our emotional reality, family conflicts or standards of perfectionism.
Untreated psychological processes, such as grief, childhood emotional wounds, low self-esteem or emotional pain, are partially avoided with strong daily routines, chores, tasks to complete… so many work or academic occupations that keep us away of our emotional state.
This strategy is called experiential avoidance., which has a specific objective and is not to face what is emotionally affecting. However, it is there on vacation when we have a lot of free time and cannot escape from ourselves, where we have to face this reality that has been denied for months and is now difficult to avoid, causing us emotional discomfort.
On the other hand, although family dynamics freeze a little and become bearable when we are not at home or when we share very little time with our partner or family, when we are present again and share space and time those discomforts reappear in the dynamics of the home and family conflicts become more constant; We realize that emotional distance definitely does not repair family problems; on the contrary, resentments and misunderstandings accumulate, stressing daily life.
Excess perfectionism
Another reason that causes anxiety to increase and persist over time is the perfectionist personal standards that sometimes frustrate and sabotage our vacations.
In this condition two situations arise. The first does not allow us to enjoy the achievements and work done in our work or academic area, since we have a feeling of inadequacy and our result is not approved by ourselves; Even though we have had praise, we do not accept it and spend time ruminating due to the dissatisfaction of not having done a better job.
The second does not allow us to rest due to the feeling of guilt when we feel that we must be busy, we believe that by resting or stopping work, we are losing time, money or opportunities.
Thus, free time is a torment and emotional discomfort appearsanxiety increases, taking away peace of mind and affecting vacations.
What does this situation generate in us psychologically?
These discomforts wear us down emotionally; Anxiety interrupts sleep, causes uncontrolled eating behaviors, produces muscle discomfort, causes irritability to be on the surface and, on the contrary, We do not find the desired rest but rather an emotional fatigue.
Therefore, if you have emotional conditions without working, it would be a good time to start a psychological process and catch up with your mental health.
And what can we do?
If your family situation is the problem; Starting with dialogue routines can be a good way to smooth out rough edges in family dynamics. Of course, if this doesn’t work; It is best to seek the help of a professional.
Finally, if your situation is one of perfectionist standards and you feel anxiety about being inactive, It’s time to seek help; not only to enjoy a good vacation with free time, but also to celebrate and enjoy the achievements obtained and the work done.
So a good plan for this vacation would be to stop avoiding more and start catching up on your mental health, it will give you a breath of peace with which you will begin your new work obligations.
