It is well known that monogamy is a cultural phenomenon that varies depending on both the society in which one lives and the way each person perceives the relationships they have. Although for many centuries the inhabitants of Western countries have seen it as the only possible way to conceive love, there are those who see further.
Although in reality they have always existed, In recent years, open relationships have gained momentum , becoming naturalized and seen as another type of relationship just as healthy and satisfying as the rest. Now, the fact that they are a rarity in our cultural environments means that many myths circulate about these relationships and their potential, a fact that can lead to error and wrong expectations about what they are. Let’s see how to avoid making these kinds of mistakes.
There are a large number of types of relationships and not all of them have to be based on monogamy. Outside of this category are the so-called open relationships.
These types of relationships are characterized because the members of the relationship do not consider monogamy necessary to maintain a healthy and stable relationship, so through a common pact the possibility of maintaining relationships with third parties is established.
These types of relationships can range from sporadic sexual relationships with other people to more or less stable romantic ties. Within this category may include temporary monogamy, polygamy, or relational anarchy
Taking the initiative to start an open relationship, or converting a traditional relationship into one of the above, implies that its members make a change of mentality and change their perspective on how to live both emotional and sexual relationships.
Given that, no matter how convinced we are, this change is not always easy, below we will see a series of tips and suggestions to live an open relationship in a healthy and positive way
Tips to enjoy an open relationship
Through these 7 tips, couples who are thinking about starting an open relationship will be able to know what factors should be taken into account and what steps to follow when starting this type of intimate relationship, as well as the mistakes that should be avoided if intends for this to work.
1. Start from a healthy relationship
In order to begin this new stage or format of the relationship It is essential that the couple maintain a strong bond that the relationship works well and that there is trust in the other and security on the part of both members.
Although it does not always have to be this way, a couple that works well will be more likely to be successful in opening their relationship than one in which a certain degree of well-being and trust does not exist.
On the other hand, it will never be a good idea to open a relationship with the intention of saving it from a crisis or separation, since frustrations and mistrust will only increase.
2. Not doing it out of obligation
If one of the two members of the couple proposes to start an open relationship the other does not have to accept by simple commitment or for fear that the relationship will end if it is not accepted.
The purpose of starting this type of relationship is to increase the well-being of the couple and make both of them happier, so if you are not convinced or it is done out of obligation, it is better to talk about it with your partner.
The first requirement for this type of relationship to go well is that both sincerely want it and are convinced that they want to do it. Otherwise, it will not only affect the well-being of the couple, but it will most likely end up breaking up.
3. Establish norms and limits
As in any other type of relationship, it is necessary for the couple to reach a consensus on what is allowed and what is not Establishing rules and limits will avoid misunderstandings and confusion, in addition to providing security and trust.
It is highly recommended to calmly discuss these rules, as well as express each person’s needs. A good way is for this to be reflected somewhere, in order to avoid unnecessary discussions if the case arises.
It is clear that, just as it is necessary to establish a series of rules, it is essential that these are followed, since otherwise it means deceiving the couple in any sense. Of course, these rules They can have some flexibility and they are susceptible to being modified to better fit the needs of the relationship.
4. Be communicative
As mentioned above, communication is essential when maintaining this and any other relationship.
Manifest and express needs, thoughts, ideas and emotions in a sincere way is essential to ensure the future of the relationship. In the same way that it is essential to actively listen to the other when trying to communicate.
Disguising, pretending or deceiving the other, even if we sincerely believe that we are doing it for the good of the relationship, is never a good idea. Since it is very possible that sooner or later everything will come to light, increasing distrust within the relationship.
If jealousy is no longer advisable in conventional relationships, it makes no sense in open relationships.
Taking into account that the basic idea of open relationships is that one or both members of the couple are allowed to maintain intimate relationships, both sexual and emotional, with another person, jealousy has no place
If both are sincere and comply with pre-established rules, neither jealousy nor mistrust should appear.
On the other hand, if what is feared is that these relationships outside the couple end up giving rise to strong feelings of love, it is necessary to know that those open couples that are well created and established are more likely to be successful than traditional couples.
6. Be honest with other people
Just as important as sincerity in a couple is sincerity with those other people with whom intimate relationships are maintained outside the couple. Otherwise it is unfair for the third person not to know what situation they are in.
It is important that they know the existence of a “main” relationship, as well as the agreed rules, in order to decide whether they want to continue with said person or not. Otherwise it may be hurt and, in addition, conflicts may appear with all the components of the relationship.
7. Have time for the couple
Last but not least, Spending time with other people should not mean neglect of the couple’s relationship. In order to maintain this type of relationship over time, it is necessary to protect and take care of the relationship day by day.
