Overprotected Children: 6 Educational Mistakes That Harm Them
The desire to make the children enjoy this stage of life to the fullest can lead to overprotection of children with astonishing ease
What at first may seem like simple help and emotional support, sometimes, becomes magnified and floods almost all areas of the children’s lives, making them cannot develop the personal skills necessary to achieve autonomy little by little.
And if overprotection is so harmful, it is, in part, because it is not always easy to differentiate it from the natural kindness that adults show towards younger people. That is why it is very important to recognize the signs that a boy or girl is being deprived of the possibility of developing psychologically as they should through basic learning.
Below you can see many of the common mistakes that are behind the appearance of spoiled and overprotected girls and boys
1. Assume that education is a school thing
Some fathers and mothers assume the idea that the only challenges that the little ones in the house must face are those of school. That is to say, the only place where they should make an effort to do things is within the walls of the school, and that Outside of this, parents or guardians must offer all possible facilities as “compensation”
But this doesn’t work like that; The main intellectual and emotional skills are learned outside of school, and that means that you have to make an effort to progress once school hours have ended.
2. Avoid conflicts at all costs
Some parents and teachers prefer to avoid problems by giving up the possibility of negotiating with children when a conflict of interest arises. The idea behind this strategy is that the boy or girl himself he will spontaneously realize that he has acted capriciously
The results of this, of course, are not as positive as one might expect from this logic. In fact, such a naive strategy translates into something very simple: little ones always get their way… at least in the short term, because always doing what you want is the shortest path to overprotection and lack of care. autonomy.
3. The belief that frustration is bad
The sight of a boy or girl who feels discomfort or a certain degree of frustration can become almost unbearable for some adults, who will quickly go to offer their help and protection.
However, it is convenient lose the fear of the possibility that someone going through childhood may experience frustration if it appears promptly.
Frustration is something that the little ones must be able to foresee and learn to manage, since otherwise, when no one can help them, everything will become a ball and they will have to try to learn quickly what to do, without having previous experience in it. The issue.
4. Blindly trusting vicarious learning
Some parents and educators believe that the simple act of solving a child’s problem in front of their eyes makes them learn the lesson and can repeat that strategy in the future.
It is true that learning through what we see others doing, or vicarious learning (concept developed by psychologist Albert Bandura), is one of the mechanisms by which we adapt to the challenges that life poses to us, both in childhood and during the rest of life stages. However, in itself it is not enough, and it cannot be the only learning modality.
To master a skill well, you have to participate in the problems to which it must be applied. Anyone who has tried to teach someone computer science will know this: taking control of the mouse and showing them the sequence of clicks necessary to perform an operation means immediate forgetfulness on the part of the poor learner if they are not familiar with the program.
5. The basic error of priorities
Another common mistake that produces overprotected children is to assume that the objective of education is to make the boy or girl like them, to establish a strong emotional bond.
This emotional bond is very important, but it is not in itself the objective of teaching. That’s why, It is harmful to reward lack of initiative and inaction , and it is necessary to pose reasonable and acceptable challenges that the little ones can carry out. This will not only make them learn, but it will also make them feel good by noticing a sense of achievement every time something goes well for them and, of course, it will be beneficial for their self-esteem.
6. The pampering competition
To educate, it is necessary to examine ourselves and reflect on the reasons that lead us to treat children the way we do.
And, encompassed in this task of analyzing one’s own motivations, it is essential that we stop to think about whether we are pampering a boy or girl too much simply because of the social image produced by educating someone who always has all their needs covered ( not necessarily happy).
Especially in the case of parents, this pampering competition that leads to comparing the treatment offered to one’s own children with that offered by friends and neighbors to their own can be a very great temptation that must be avoided; After all, each person has an unreliable and unreal image about how they are educated in other people’s homes.
