Almost all of us have encountered people who tend to distrust others, who attribute bad intentions to other people’s comments or actions and, in general, suspect that behind the setbacks they suffer there are “black hands” conspired to make them fail.
Being protagonists and victims of persecutions, injustices or misfortunes concocted by others… These types of beliefs form what is known as paranoid ideation , quite widespread among human beings. It is no wonder, since it is a defense mechanism that can even be adaptive in certain situations. However, it becomes a problem when this style of thinking progresses to more severe manifestations, with a distortion of reality sufficient to cause great psychological discomfort or a disorder (going from paranoid ideation to delusional ideation).
It is important not to confuse paranoid ideation with paranoid personality disorder; Not only because of the different intensity of the symptoms, but it is also not the only pathological condition where these mental ruminations appear: can be found in schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder (BPD), or schizotypal disorder It is also common for substance use to favor the appearance of paranoid ideation.
Some of the main factors that influence the development of paranoid attitudes would be high social anxiety and insecure attachment style (Martin, 2001), parental figures with distant and avoidant attachment, or with excessive external criticism (Carvalho, 2018), a social mentality based on threat (Macbeth, 2008), among others, and its incidence is more pronounced in the elderly population (Chaudhary and Rabheru, 2009). All of these cases are relatively frequent, so it is easy for us to deal in our daily lives with relatives, friends, acquaintances or co-workers (one of the most common places to develop it, by the way) with different degrees of paranoid ideation.
Whether we are dealing with a profile prone to suspicion or people with conspiratorial beliefs (there is a relationship between paranoia and belief in conspiracy theories (Darwin, 2011)), it is not easy to approach someone with paranoid ideation. , since obviously he will tend to distrust us
The temptation to argue or deny the belief, or to enter into an exchange of defensive behavior and end up both angry, is very high, so it is especially important to know how to act in a relationship with someone with paranoid traits.
1. Do not invalidate the person’s perception
No matter how absurd their beliefs may seem to us, they are always built on some perceived real fact that is central to them. When we openly reject someone’s internal experience, we generate hostility (“but man, Paco, how can you be afraid of that small spider?”, or any other disqualification of emotions or feelings that you can think of), and therefore the other will get defensive
You have to be very aware that it is not simply about “going along with them,” but rather about better understanding what cognitive process and what true situation has led them to these disproportionate conclusions in order to maintain a productive conversation on an emotional and social level.
2. Look together for other explanations
If we have followed the first point, we will be in a position to present alternative explanations or arguments more adjusted to reality and that are plausible for someone with paranoid ideation.
Here we will have to overcome the tendency to jump to conclusions (JTC or Jumping to conclusions) before gathering sufficient information or evidence.
Freeman found that people with paranoid ideation are more than twice as likely to jump to judgment as others (Freeman, 2008). This does not mean that they are not capable of redeciding or modifying their conclusions in the face of more evidence, but that it is more complicated for them to do so.
Anyway, subclinical paranoid ideation is not an intellectual impairment , they can reason as well as anyone; They just prefer conspiratorial explanations.
3. Do not enter competitions to be right
This point, which is valid for the communicative exchange with anyone, is more important in these specific cases. It’s tempting to argue with someone who claims the police are following them, but We are not going to achieve much by confronting him with our counterarguments : Ultimately it is a competition of wills and we will find that we have no more evidence than our own belief that what we do is true.
From that position it is very difficult to convince someone who is also capable of fabricating very “solid” explanations. It is essential to abandon the fight for reason which can only generate more distrust.
4. Avoid being condescending
A paranoid delusion does not imply any type of cognitive disability ; The person may be as intelligent or more intelligent than us, even though he believes that aliens built the pyramids and live incognito among humans. In fact, you can be convinced of this and lead a normal, adapted and happy life. Dismissing her or showing condescension as if she had a brain injury will only deepen the distance and mutual incomprehension.
paranoid ideation part of a limiting core belief: that others are a potential threat , and you can’t trust even those closest to you. Hence, the favorite emotion of people with this problem is fear, from which they actively defend themselves, so external observers see agitation, anger and confrontation, and it is easy to overlook the emotional background of the issue or confuse it with Rage.
On the other side of the coin, individuals with paranoid ideas usually do not realize that this defense generates rejection in others… who, by distancing themselves from them, confirm their suspicions. Understand that it is fear that activates their responses, and not that they dislike us, in order to act with assertiveness, understanding and compassion. Like everyone else, they need the contact and warmth of other human beings, despite the fear that this contact produces in them.
