The separation of a marriage is not easy for those affected, and it seems incredible the reaction they can have towards the other party. The hatred that they are capable of feeling for each other has caught the attention of many psychologists, since the behaviors of contempt, often unimaginable, that can be seen in this situation, mask the love that the person may have once felt. ex partner.
But The problem worsens when there are children involved They may suffer this painful situation more than anyone else. Especially when parents use them to hurt each other. This is known as Parental Alienation Syndrome
What is Parental Alienation Syndrome?
He Parental Alienation Syndrome (SAP) is a set of symptoms that are a consequence of the use of different strategies by a parent, in which they influence the children’s thinking with the intention of destroying the relationship with the other parent.
SAP can occur when the child is influenced by one parent (Parent A) to reject the other parent (Parent B). For example, Parent A may tell the child that Parent B does not want to visit, when in fact Parent B is working.
Many times, This type of negative influence, used repeatedly, causes the child to reject the other parent
It is necessary to reflect on Parental Alienation Syndrome and the real danger of parents who use this type of behavior to harm their ex-partner, since the child is the one who really suffers the negative consequences of this situation But you also have to treat this issue carefully, since some parents, for their legal defense, may accuse the other member of the ex-couple of using SAP against them even if it is not true.
Signs of Parental Alienation Syndrome
How do alienating parents act? These are the characteristic behaviors of parents who carry out SAP:
- Underestimating or ridiculing children’s feelings towards the other parent.
- Reward and reinforce derogatory behaviors and rejection by the child towards the other parent.
Causes of this phenomenon
Why might a parent want to damage their child’s relationship with the other parent? The causes may differ from one parent to another, since each case is usually different. These are some of them:
- Anger accumulated during the relationship due to not having dealt with problems in the correct way The lack of anger control can cause, in these cases, the parents to be unable to separate relationship problems from their parental functions.
- Self-esteem problems. Which causes emotional dependence on the other parent.
- Lack of social skills and difficulties in expression and understanding of emotions. They may be unable to empathize with the child and the ex-spouse.
- Personality disorders For example: narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder.
Preventing SAP is the best therapy
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a complex phenomenon due to the environment in which it occurs. It is a real problem that separated families or families that are breaking up can experience, but It also manifests itself in the judicial field There are many men and women who use their children as a weapon against each other and induce them to have negative thoughts about the other parent.
The American Psychological Association has not recognized it as a disorder and, therefore, it does not appear in the DSM-V. But the suffering it can cause in actors is devastating, because the emotional damage that this phenomenon causes can affect kids for the rest of their lives.
The best way to treat it is to prevent it. Since, once it happens, it is necessary to attack it from different fronts. That a child suffers due to the irresponsibility of parents is tremendously unfair. That’s why, the attitude of the parents regarding their breakup is crucial for the well-being of their child
Since SAP is a form of child abuse, once it has occurred and is diagnosed, it can have legal consequences. For example, the change of custody so that the child reestablishes ties with the parent who has been a victim of parental alienation. Sometimes it may happen that the child refuses, and that is why the issue must be treated very carefully. Therapy is necessary to reverse the situation and, in many cases, it is the judge himself who can intervene.
- Infocop