Parents With Emotional Dependence: How To Help Them?
Emotional dependence is a psychological alteration characterized by a notable alteration in people’s relationship patterns and by an emotional “addiction” towards other loved ones in their environment, such as friends, family or partners.
Although this phenomenon has been widely studied in couples and romantic interests, the truth is that it can also occur between parents and their children, a more frequent phenomenon than we think and that can have truly devastating consequences both among parents and children. young people of the house. For example, it can occur in divorced parents who feel alone and try to make their children feel sorry for them to have them “by their side” and combat the feeling of loneliness, or in parents who fear the moment when that their children become emancipated, among other cases. So that, Let’s see what we can do for fathers and mothers with emotional dependence to give them the support they need
What can be done to help parents with emotional dependence?
Below we will review a series of guidelines and advice that we can apply to help those fathers and mothers who may present a case of emotional dependence on their children. Of course, we must be clear that as sons and daughters our physical and mental health is also a key aspect in this process, and we do not have to sacrifice ourselves without limit in order to constantly provide this kind of support; In cases where the situation overwhelms you, it is appropriate to seek professional help in psychotherapy.
In marriages with children, redirecting attention from what is done on a day-to-day basis from the parent/child relationship to the couple’s relationship helps relieve tensions of this type. And for this, encouraging them to do activities as a couple is usually useful
2. Help prevent feelings of loneliness
Some divorced or separated parents may end up feeling alone and use their children to overcome that loneliness or to vent their own frustrations over life’s problems constantly, a very unhealthy type of relationship known as “emotional incest”
To prevent parents from feeling alone after a divorce or after the death of their spouses, we must help them find useful solutions to overcome this feeling of loneliness.
This can be achieved by looking for all kinds of activities that satisfy our parents and that require introspection, so that loneliness is not always associated with the negative.
3. Prevent empty nest syndrome
Empty nest syndrome is the feeling of discomfort and suffering experienced by parents who dedicate their lives to caring for their children once they leave home.
This psychological phenomenon has to do with the feeling of loneliness they experience, as well as in the fact of having dedicated a good part of their life to being committed parents
To prevent this syndrome from developing in fathers and mothers, it is necessary to carry out intense psychological work in which the person understands that their personality cannot be based on the fact of being a father or mother and that they are worth it on their own, even if do not live with your children.
In addition to that, you can also find activities and all kinds of weekly or daily initiatives that keep them busy and help them forget the discomfort caused by their children’s departure.
4. Set limits
As in any case of emotional dependence, the way in which we can help a person overcome it is by establishing limits with that individual and making it clear what is admissible and what is not
In the case of some fathers and mothers who use emotional blackmail on their children to force them to study a career, we must make them understand that they cannot take sides so intensely in that crucial decision and that they cannot force their children to do anything. that they don’t want.
It is evident that parents can help, advise or give their opinion on any topic, but They should not decide the future of their sons or daughters
On the other hand, they should not have the perception that as sons or daughters we will be available to them in the event of any complaint or claim; It is important that they become aware that our presence is proportional to the urgency or severity of the problem they face.
5. Dynamize social life
Invigorating social life is essential for fathers and mothers who may develop emotional dependence in their children; That is why it is of great importance that the person goes out regularly and meets with other people their age
Likewise, it can help you meet other people with your same interests with whom you can meet and carry out social and recreational activities of all kinds.
As long as it is necessary, go to a psychologist It becomes the most effective way to prevent or help parents overcome cases of emotional dependence on their young or older children.
A psychology professional specialized in this type of case will know how to give us the best advice and will be able to treat in depth any problem that is the cause of the present emotional dependence.
