People Who Close Themselves To Love: What They Are Like And How To Help Them
Loving and being loved is, according to many, the most beautiful thing in the world. Whether it is a family member, a friend and, of course, a partner, the truth is that the majority of the human race feels love for someone and wants to be reciprocated.
However, there are not a few people who close themselves to love It seems like they don’t want to know anything about this emotion. They appear cold, insensitive, emotionally distant. Because they are so? Are they incapable of feeling? Are they afraid to love?
Let’s try to understand why some people close themselves off from love, also finding out what we can do to break their shell of coldness and emotional distance.
What are people like who close themselves to love?
Emotional ignorance is not only manifested in an inability to connect with feelings, both one’s own and those of others, but also in being afraid of feeling certain emotions Whether due to low emotional intelligence or manifest inexperience regarding certain feelings, there are people who close themselves off from love, something that undoubtedly hinders the creation of solid, healthy and lasting bonds.
Emotional inaccessibility is a very noticeable trait of people who close themselves to love. They not only close themselves to that feeling, but to any other emotion that requires them to establish a relationship of deep intimacy with others. They are people who They raise all kinds of invisible barriers but so thick that, apparently, they seem insurmountable They prevent us from approaching them. They are emotionally distant people.
The profile of people who close themselves to love denotes great emotional immaturity, a product of both ignorance and inexperience when it comes to managing their feelings. This means that, far from seeing it as something pleasant that they would like to have in their lives, they perceive love as a threat. They fear that feeling it will expose them to a situation of great vulnerability. They interpret that falling in love and showing their feelings will allow malicious people to take advantage of them.
This does not mean that they do not have relationships People who are closed to love have, like anyone else, friends, family or even partners, human relationships in which some emotionality is exhibited. However, these types of people tend to abandon them or simply close down when many emotions arise. They carry a hard shell to take refuge in whenever they need it, especially when minimal emotional contact is required of them.
Because they are so?
As emotionally distant people they usually are, those who close themselves off from love are closed because of something that happened to them in the past. That something It is usually a failed emotional relationship, a love that went wrong, that did not meet your expectations or that even involved abuse from your ex-partner It may also have happened that they had a bad relationship with their parents, siblings or other people in their most intimate environment in their first years of life or childhood, and that since then they have had a trauma.
This first experience with love, traumatic and extremely painful, leaves a mark on the heart, which will make the person close in on himself so as not to be harmed again and will even behave in appearance like a cold and lacking individual. all kinds of feelings.
Naturally, he does have emotions, but he doesn’t want to show them for fear of being hurt again For this reason, they do not share their feelings and try to hide all their emotions as best they can under a hard shell, a wall of containment and protection.
As we have mentioned, people who are closed to love are emotionally distant individuals who appear cold. They take refuge under a shell of apparent hardness and insensitivity, but underneath they hide fear, fear of showing themselves vulnerable in case of experiencing that beautiful feeling of love. Your fear of receiving harm from someone you might love is greater than the human desire to love and be loved. Many experiences are lost due to the fear of something that they are not sure will happen.
Knowing how to help a person who is closed to love requires delicacy Talking to an individual with these characteristics can be complicated, but not impossible. Let’s see some tips to get these types of people to come out of their shell and show what they really feel. It is important that we earn their trust and show ourselves as understanding and well-intentioned people.
The purpose of the advice that we are going to see is not to get someone who is closed to love to end up falling in love with us. Love doesn’t work like that, we can’t force anyone to love us just because. The objective of what we are going to see is to help a person, be it a family member, a friend or even our own partner, to open up and not give up a feeling as beautiful as love.
1. Start from your comfort zone
If we want to talk openly with a person who is closed to love, it is important not to be intrusive. You have to start in her comfort zone, stealthily and without disturbing it. It is not advisable to start by going straight to the point. It is best to start with conversation topics that we know make you feel comfortable and safe
As the conversation flows and that person feels more confident in you, it will be time to start talking about the real topic we want to talk about, which is basically how they feel. why he is afraid to love and if he needs something from us that can help him.
2. Be empathetic
Empathy is fundamental in every human relationship. This It is the best tool to get a person to trust us and reveal their inner world to us We must put ourselves in the place of people who close themselves off from love, understanding that if they are like this it will most likely be due to some unpleasant experience from their past, a great disappointment with love or bad relationships with people for whom they had feelings.
3. No pressure
The last thing an emotionally distant person who shows barriers to loving and being loved wants is to be pressured If she normally doesn’t show her emotions too much, she will be less likely to do so when she is self-conscious and overwhelmed by our pressure. We must respect her time and her own limits, make her the one who has control of the situation. We can’t force her to be how we want her to be, she just isn’t going to work. You have to respect her and try to improve the relationship from her reality.
